verbeatim·; jace wayland .
soul feels almost completely tarnished and beyond repair , as hands grip tightly on the seraph blade —- another attempt to stop from doing such unspeakable things had failed , clary’s dead body laid out in front of him . heart shattered . jace had tried to end it all , end the suffering by ending his life but every time he did , it didn’t work and lilith was laughing at him . his mental torture was her amusement , he did kill her golden boy after all . he’d had to watch as he did despicable things , things he wouldn’t come back from : things he didn’t want to come back from . he didn’t deserve to . cheeks are stained from all the tears he’d cried , throat and chest raw from his screams —– hand quivers with the blood soaked weapon as he hears the footsteps . head turns and dread fills his hollow form as his hues land upon his parabatai , the other half of him . not him . NOT ALEC ! he’d already had to see the one he was in love with die over and over and he was past hanging on , he couldn’t endure this too . ‘ i —- i tried not to , every time i tried but it —- it didn’t work . ’ misty eyes meet his and he shakes his head distraught as he gets to his feet terrified . ‘ i can’t —- not you too . i can’t kill you too , PLEASE . ’
izzy’s name is still fresh upon his lips , but not for one moment does alec forget the true reason they are here . they have to save JACE . tentative footsteps carry him inside the room , his gaze quickly finding the body of the redhead slumped next to the door . ‘ clary ? ’ his knees begin to bend to inspect her , but slowly , his gaze begins to find another , and then another , and another . . . until , raised once more to his full height , he takes in the room filled to the brim with his friend’s corpses. he hears his brother before he sees him . the sight of the blonde , kneeling atop the bed , sobbing beside another bloody cadaver , is one that rings alarm bells in the back of alec’s mind . ‘ jace ? ’
if alec attempts to hide the shock upon his face , he fails miserably . before one of a hundred questions can fall from his lips , however , jace is speaking , and alec is listening so carefully , as though their lives depend on it . ( for all he knows , they might . ) even without the bond woven deep inside their bones , alec would be able to feel the distress coming off him in waves . it churns in his stomach , halts him in his tracks , as he raises a calming hand in jace’s direction . ‘ it’s okay . -------- all right ? none of this is real . ’ the tone of his voice is soft , comforting , and yet it manages to hold the sobering firmness of the leader of the new york institute . as jace begins to panic , alec allows his voice to hold both qualities equally . it’s imperative that jace not only listen but to TRUST him too . ‘ you won’t , ’ he replies confidently , the words falling from his lips in a soft repetition until his brother’s panic falls quiet once more . ‘ i’m not part of lilith’s mind games . i’m real . -------- i’m gonna get you out of here , okay ? ’