cloudedbladesâ:
After a moment or two, Cloud nodded in response to her question. Not that heâd felt much need to be so quiet on his first trip; but Yuko seemed to value the near-quiet and stillness they were sharing. Better not to disturb it.
Still, he had to formulate some kind of a reply at some stage, even if there wasnât exactly a rush to do so. Besides, he could only spend so much time mourning for a dead friend who might, for all he knew, show her face at any second.
âIâve spent a lot of my life feeling sorry for myself,â he said, keeping his voice more or less as quiet as hers. it came out as a bit of a rumble, which was probably more disruptive; but there wasnât a lot he could do about it, with the emotion in his voice. âToo much time spent mourning people Iâve lost. Tried to change that. But itâs still good to remember.â
Yuko smiles, though itâs somber, âI know that feeling very well, I only recently realized how unproductive it is,â she sighs.Â
She wishes she understood the idea of mourning. She knows what it is to grieve, to feel a loss, but she was so accustomed to it that by now it felt like a sugar coated melancholy. Like a sour lemon candy thatâs sweet and sugary as soon as the sour coating is gone. The guilt however, the feeling sorry for oneself, she knows far too well.Â
âRemembering is good, the memories grow warmer with time, less about the loss, more about the time you spent together,â she closes her eyes and leans back onto her arms.Â
âItâs a little funny, how meaningful a little boat set on the waves can be, but it made me feel better. A little lighter, you know?âÂ
Itâs not necessarily a lie, but she knows that the weight of all those lives she piled on that little boat, will sink back into her soon enough.Â

















