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never be sober, never be full, never be clean

[user-boxer]

This user has a triggering blog

[triggeringore]

I am known by my mistakes not me

[triggeringore]

why is it so easy for my dad and not me

why does he not talk to me

[triggeringore]

[triggeringore]

one Wednesday night looking at myself in my bathroom mirror at 11:23 pm with coke residue in my left nostril, my right eyes seems bigger than my left. I hear my mom in the kitchen talking to my dad about rent due, yet why does it smell bad in here? am I where I'm supposed to be? my hair seems out of place , when was the last time I washed my shirt? I look closer at my face, scratch spots in my face eye bags are reaching the floor. now my parents are banging on the bathroom door asking if I'm okay, why did I say that 3 years ago? when will it end? God this shirt does stink tho, am I breathing to loud ?

[triggeringore]

sorry cok3 was speaking thru me

[triggeringore]

I don't want to die yet, I don't want to continue living sober anymore

[triggeringore]

one Wednesday night looking at myself in my bathroom mirror at 11:23 pm with coke residue in my left nostril, my right eyes seems bigger than my left. I hear my mom in the kitchen talking to my dad about rent due, yet why does it smell bad in here? am I where I'm supposed to be? my hair seems out of place , when was the last time I washed my shirt? I look closer at my face, scratch spots in my face eye bags are reaching the floor. now my parents are banging on the bathroom door asking if I'm okay, why did I say that 3 years ago? when will it end? God this shirt does stink tho, am I breathing to loud ?

[triggeringore]

im a "teenager" but my voice can be heard

im not just a stupid confused teenager

im hurt

[triggeringore]

Dad told me when he hits me he regrets it, but that's the first thing he wants to do. Is it love?

[triggeringore]

I want my mom to feel like my mom not my enemy

[triggeringore]

lmao I didn't know dr^gs hurt me

[triggeringore]

I don't want to learn how to swim.

if it meant I could be pushed into water n try to paddle, try to live one more time.

I was stuck in a hospital bed. cable's all around me, doctor, nurses, family are going everywhere around the room. busy doing something. I hear the beeping go higher. they rush more. all I could feel was my eyes become more n more heavy. I was thinking how all was actually going to end. I wanted to not live anymore.

if it meant to be pushed in water and try to paddle, to live one more time. I won't learn how to swim.