so a little while back, i wrote a cookbook, and the post’s being passed around tumblr a whole lot lately. (thanks for that, by the way! i’ve made like a hundred dollars this week and my cat’s very excited about the fancy pumpkin-and-nastiness catfood that she’s going to get in celebration.)
when i released the book, i was like, oh, i oughta do something for promo! which i promptly did not do, at all. but i’m doing it now! free cookbooks for all! well, for some. five. five, to be exact, free cookbooks for five.
anyhow, this is the book i wrote:
Cooking is terrible, and food is often a massive pain in the ass. Eating is sometimes ok, sometimes a giant drag, and somehow still a thing that you have to do multiple times a day, which seems enormously unfair.
This book isn’t going to teach you how to cook, or turn you into the kind of person who hosts effortless dinner parties, or make you more attractive and popular and interesting. At best, it’s going to make it slightly more likely that you manage to eat something in the ten minutes between walking in the door and falling into the sweet embrace of the internet. I’m not joking—a lot of this can be done, start to finish, in ten to fifteen minutes. I resent thirty-minute meals because it feels like about twenty-eight minutes too long to spend on feeding myself.
If you’re excited to get home from work and spend an hour cooking dinner, this isn’t the book for you. If you really value authenticity, this isn’t the book for you. If you literally only eat three foods and you’re happy like that, this isn’t the book for you. If you, like me, are tired and depressed and just need to get some food into your face once in a while, this is definitely the book for you. You should buy it. Maybe it’ll help.
you can buy it on amazon or gumroad, or you can win a copy (in pdf, epub, or mobi format) by reblogging this post.
winners will be chosen by a random generator
please don’t spam people–reblog no more than twice
you do not have to follow me
there are reviews on amazon; my cooking is terrible tag has questions people have asked me
contest closes friday, august 17, 2018, at 11:59 pm pacific time
winners have to give me their email address so i can send them the book
please maybe have a snack and be nice to yourself. you don’t have to do this to win, i just think that it’d be good.
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