I hate each and every one of you. Especially Thor, who isn't even on this pathetic realm right now. I have your cube, I have my sceptre that possesses extreme levels of magic that none of you could dream of understanding. And no Tony, it does not possess extreme levels of pimpness, which as a supposed genius you should know that such a word does not exist. Stop blaming your desire for my form on supernatural reasons that are complete lies.
To Osborn, you look dreadful in green. Who even thinks to put green with Purple? Oh wait, Banner. You know, perhaps you two would make a wonderful pair. I could see your ogre spawn now in my mind ... I will need a telepath to remove that later.
To Katherine, please stop lowering yourself to be withĀ disappointmentsĀ such as the mortal men you have been seen with.
To Reaper, please stop lowering yourself to be withĀ disappointmentsĀ such as the mortal men you have been seen with.
To Natasha, please stop lowering yourself to be withĀ disappointmentsĀ such as the mortal men you have been seen with. Call me maybe?
To Pepper, please stop lowering yourself to be withĀ disappointmentsĀ such as the mortal men you have been working for.
To Namor, I urinated in your beloved ocean. So does everyone else. Your kingdom is natures toilet, which is why no one cares about you. Also, I know about your plastic surgrey.
There are of course a large list of mortals that I have never cared to know. I still do not care to know you, and thus I will merely just remind you of your place. That is being beneath my foot. Ant, boot.Ā
To Rogers, I know you have been such in ice for the last 70 years. If you come near me I will fist make sure everyone knows about your 90 year long virginity and then throw you into the deepest depths of Jotunheim.
To Barton, you will always be my favourite.
To Nicholas Fury, the joy and sunshine of my life. Let it be known that when I do bed all of your agents in one big orgy, I will film it for you and link it to every screen you attempt to view for at least a month
To Wilson. You are a fictional character being role played by an Irish woman. That's all.
To Coulson, remember that in one verse I stabbed you.
To Howard Stark. LEAVE.ME.ALONE.
To Thor. LEAVE.ME.ALONE. NOPLEASEJUSTCOMEBACKBECAUSEIMISSYOU
To Tony, you have five minutes to make yourself useful.
And there, I have wasted enough of my time on you pathetic existences. Be grateful that you have had my company over the last year. ... I can't believe you are celebrating a year, who does that?
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