Time to get white girl wasted.

Brent Seabrook has Duncan Keith's teeth, suddenly I feel normal.

[1995lahaine]

me on december 18th: wow this movie FUCKS

my assigned tumblr staff incel:

[goatfrog]

wake me up (before you go go) can’t wake up (before you go go) save me (don’t leave me hanging on like a yo yo)

[4a0000-deactivated20180901]

Hello! How are you?

moving from one crisis to another as elegantly as I can 

[gyllenhaaldaily]

Can you give me three fun facts about yourself?

[read-everything]

Same tbh

[tony-starkrogers]

A Look™: Steve’s white tank

[memehumor]

The fact that you cannot find any journals to back up your viewpoint MAY suggest you need to reassess your viewpoint…

[gothic-nightmares]

[feyrealms]

I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired

[newtgeiszler]

jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him

[wombatking]

So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:

John Mulaney - early 20th century

Eric Andre - Probably 17th century or so.

Taika Waititi - Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare

Keanu Reeves - We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.

Jeff Goldblum - 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.

Tommy Wiseau - Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.

[strangehorse]

this is david lynch erasure

[90sclubkid]

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil

[lured-deactivated20170602]

what does Quil do

[softbutxh-deactivated20170428]

All the time all the time

[ofautumntwilight]

[gremlingoth]

haunting your local grocery store

[darlingpeggys]

that helicopter scene from civil war with my heart will go on as music

so i saw something like this almost two years ago but i couldn’t find it again when i wanted to show it to a friend so i made it myself.

[stametsculberr]

to quote the icon that is john mulaney: “i have had a long day, i am very small and i have no money so you can imagine the kind of stress i am under”

[bestofevansdowney]

[provemlovely]

Yeah so Infinity War was good

[ruinedchildhood]