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Blue Dreams

The kind of dreams I have when they are of you , sometime it’s me waking up to your face laying on my shoulder, your arms draped over me.

I would Call them nightmares, but I don’t have the strength. None left within me, it all left with my tears.

Now I am contempt to my solitude, trying to mend the hole in my soul.

In the shape of you.

#heartbreak #i'm the worst #never knows best

The Traitorous Heart

My mind, a sovereign, hath decreed thee gone, And barred the gates against thy memory’s tread. The halls are silent, and the lights withdrawn, From every path where once our shadows led. Yet in this breast, a burning mutiny Doth fan the embers I had thought were dead.

A thousand times I’ve sworn my spirit free, Yet like a ghost, I haunt the halls of pain. I loathe this pulse that beats in search of thee, And counts the bleeding as a hollow gain. How cruel a fate, to flee the fire’s sting, Yet crave the flame that turned my world to ash.

A civil war within my soul doth spring, Where love and reason in the darkness clash. I have escaped the storm, but not the tide; I hate myself for still loving you, And for this heart that will not stay outside.

#poetry #never knows best #heartbreak #why am i like this

I need someone to beat me so bad, I want someone to make me feel on the outside how I feel on the inside. I’m trash and I deserve to be thrown away. I’m not a good person please believe, I don’t deserve happiness or anything but pain.