TrueEmergence Original Post

[trueemergenceop]

My brain works in a funny way

[trueemergenceop]

Today my mission is to reclaim my warrior spirit... ...ya know, normal stuff that people do

I do my best ~X

[trueemergenceop]

Okay, now that I'm drunk, is there anyone I need to be emotionally honest with?

x

[trueemergenceop]

Alcohol when you're tired of giving shit about the things that you don't want to give a shit

[trueemergenceop]

If you want anymore rambling you know where to find me. Next to that river in the forest of abyssal trees.

~X I fucking just said that. I feel like my life has a lot of this wording happening lately.

[trueemergenceop]

"Maybe I'm that perfectly tarnished crystal you've been looking for" ~x

[trueemergenceop]

Sometimes I like to just be alone, with my desk just a little unorganized, listening to good music, having a cup of coffee alone. Just really relishing in my solitude. It's my little slice of human existence to enjoy, just let me have it, and no one can dare take it out of my happy little hands - in my warm orange bubble.

~x

My orange bubble of existence

[voxfeles]

Today I was feeling pretty miserable. I woke up feeling emotionally empty, washed with the feeling of a starving ambition. I look at everything with disgust. My reality was warped in a unsaturated sepiatone. With what strength I had I managed to muster the strength to stand out of my chair, get my day clothes on, eat food, and get some working out in. I took my own attitude towards the day into my hands and didn’t wallow in a vein disgust of myself and my surroundings. I have things to do today. I have experiences to have. I have so much to look forward to in this moment that I should cherish it. Today is a good day because I deem it so. I will not allow dread to pull me by my ear.

Today Was My Day ~x

[trueemergenceop]

The feeling that someone is irreplaceable and completely needed in my life is slowly becoming a bit of a scary feeling. I suppose that’s what “attachment” really is. I guess I’m saying that I’m afraid of feeling attached to people because it hurts when my paranoia crops up, and I need intimate relationships that aren't too attached.

~X a realization I had as the conclusion of a much longer entry

[trueemergenceop]

Out of everything that happened last night you know what I'll never forget? How we held hands and played tetris on our phones until we fell asleep next to each other.

x

[trueemergenceop]

"What's a master without his pet?"

"What's a pet without her master?"

I like my romance.

[trueemergenceop]

Do you want to hurt me? Hurting me makes you feel better!

My life can be cool as hell

xnightfox

[trueemergenceop]

When you're full of positive energy, let that positivity shine through you, but be wary of sharing that energy directly with anyone.

~X

[trueemergenceop]

I'm smoking adhesive because this life I rolled together is starting to fall apart

~X

[trueemergenceop]

I'd rather be surprised by happiness than by sadness.

~X    I said this when talking about stuff today, but I'm sure someone said it at some point in the past

[trueemergenceop]

Someone you love throwing up, with no way to help them, is really hard to deal with. But there's a vulnerability that's really beautiful somewhere in all of that.

x

[trueemergenceop]

You left me for three months and took my heart with you. You came back, heart in hand. I thought it was over for me - for us. I thought I would have to settle. Now I have to cope with being alive again. I have to cope with having ambitions again. I fought hard not to love you and built a castle to keep the thoughts of you away. I have to destroy the castle I built for myself.

~x~