"E-elder gori—!?"
"WHY do you keep calling me a gorilla?! And I’m still young!!”
"Hmph! Tipo only calls you as Tipo sees you."
i don't do bad sauce passes
Cosimo Galluzzi
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Peter Solarz

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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Not today Justin
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AnasAbdin
One Nice Bug Per Day
trying on a metaphor

Origami Around

Love Begins
will byers stan first human second
ojovivo
occasionally subtle

#extradirty

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@truepinkist
"E-elder gori—!?"
"WHY do you keep calling me a gorilla?! And I’m still young!!”
"Hmph! Tipo only calls you as Tipo sees you."
*boldly meets Tipo’s eyes* “Yes, really.”
"Hmph. Your lying elder gorilla eyes usually won't fool me..."
"But since I'm such a magnanimous Tipo, I'll let it slide."
"For now."
"I am not lying, nor in denial."
"I’ve been doing my best not to do either anymore." *especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships*
"Oh reaaally?" *peeeeers intensely at*
"Hey, I am not old!" *yet*
"And I don’t! Does Jude appear to be silvery to you?!"
*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighs* "... Alvin-kun. Tipo already said that lying is bad, but denial is not a good habit to have either."
"…That was a pun worthy of an old man, Tipo.”
"Have you been joking taking tips from Rowen instead of Drossel?"
"I guess it just takes one to know one. You know? With the baho being old and all."
"Have you told Jude you had a thing for silvery types of men too?"
Have you revealed the truth to the world yet that you give Salmon-chan a hard time because you are actually into Salmon-kuns?
"What?!?!?"
"I am not, and never have been, into fish, male or female! That includes salmons!!”
*leers* "Alvin-kun is acting... fishy."
"Hey! I am not in denial of anything!”
"Ooooh~ I see how you're playing this."
"Of course you're not denying anything!"
*Whispers to Elise* "He's really doing this first step well, isn't he, Elise?"
*giggles*
Have any ideas on how to look more trustworthy to your customers, Mr. Businessman?
"Hey, I’m the perfect image of trustworthy.”
"I don’t need to change my looks."
"You know? Elise and I just read a book about this."
"Oh, yes! It was very informative."
"Something about denial is the first step to recovery."
*silence*
"I will admit that I may be a baho and I may have been a liar—"
*reaches to catch the darned plush booster to shake it* “—but I am NOT an ojisan!!”
"UG-GYAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" *shaken* "HEELP!! THE HAIRY GORILLA IS MAN HANDLING ME!"
Y'know, Alvin, you could always sell them tofuvins. You have no idea how much people love plushies. Pros is that you may likely solve several financial crises with the resulting money, cons is that you may be known as the 'Tofu dude'. Likely for the rest of your life.
"……………………………"
"For all the potential profit that’d come with it, I don’t know that this is a good idea if I’ll end up with that nickname.”
"Tipo would have to disagree. Tofu dude sounds like an improvement when Alvin's nicknames are Baho, or Liar, or..."
"Ojisan."
So rumor has it that you taste like musty old mushrooms because you do not scrub hard or wash enough in those secret places only young barmaids and voluptuous ladies have the pleasure of discovering.
"Hey! I’ll have you know that I wash myself thoroughly!"
"And why is the rumour about old mushrooms?! I’m pretty sure Tipo said something about my tasting like condensed milk!”
"It depends on when was the last time Alvin took a bath."
"But Tipo is impressed that the baho is being so truthful. He didn't deny having lots of baribo lady friends."
*sigh* "It's a miracle Jude stays with you considering you're a cheating liar and has a mr. shrinky."
"Because she doesn’t have one yet."
"And while I’d appreciate the help, it held out just fine when we were in Kahn Valk last too!"
"You can ask Rowen and Gaius too. I’m pretty sure they don`t complain about theirs either."
"Oh..."
"Okay. I'll ask them both!"
"What?!"
"Hey! No!" *tries to step away from Elise* "Hands off the GHS!"
*puffs cheeks* "Stingy. Why not?"
"No… it doesn’t."
"Oh, that's good."
"So... you'll have to keep warm to keep it from getting small...? It will be troublesome when you go visit Khan Valk..."
"Oh! I know! I'll go tell Jude! Maybe she knows how to keep it warm! Let's go write her a GHS!" *already reaching for Alvin's pocket where he keeps it*
"……..Umm………."
"…it means that when it’s cold, it… shrinks."
"................ Does it hurt?"
"W-which one…?" *uhh…*
"…The… one that girls don’t have."
"O-Oh... T-That..." *shyly sways* "So..."
"W-What does it mean by mass displacement?"
"…You may wanna ask Leia why she wrote it. I wouldn’t be able to tell you."
*and as Elise thinks, he hopes he’ll be off the hook and not have to answer*
*no such luck though! And why is she sparkling like that?!* “…Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
*draws a long-suffering sigh before he speaks up.* “…A ‘Johnny’ is an euphemism for a male’s body part. There. I answered your question.”
*stares at him for a good long minute in silence* "Which one?"