âHello? Master? Yeah, this is the Doctor. Could you⌠maybe, could you come over to the TARDIS tonight? And bring Mean Girls with you? And pick up some more Ben & Jerryâs on the way? No, of course my latest Companion didnât break up with me. Why would you say that? Maybe I just want to watch Mean Girls and eat Ben & Jerryâs, ok.â
âI love this movie, donât you? Itâs just so⌠it teaches you things. About life. And high school. And fashion.â
The Master grimaced and made another grab for the half-empty bottle of Jameson clutched in the Doctorâs right hand, hoping the movie would distract him. The Doctor dodged him again, dripping a bit of melty Cherry Garcia over the Masterâs sleeve, managing not to miss even a second if Mean Girls in the process.
âDonât you think youâve had enough?â he asked, pausing in his attempts to salvage the evening to lick the spill off his cuff.
âNo,â the Doctor pouted. ââS not even half empty. See? Still got a lot left. Need something to drink for The Lion King, donât I?â
âThen at least give me the ice cream before you ruin this couch,â the Master said, reaching cautiously for the soggy container. âItâs not even ice cream anymore, look - itâs soup.â
âOh my god, Master.â The Doctor leaned away from him, keeping his booze and sweets away from his companionâs flailing (and short) reach. âYou canât just call people soup.â
âThe next wretched human Companion you take on, Iâm going to sew you two together,â the Master grumbled, scooting back to his end of the couch and folding his arms in irritation. âOr drug them when they try and leave, or something. This happens every time.â
The Doctorâs lower lip trembled, and the Master realized heâd made a grievous mistake.
âY-you know,â he said, voice shaky with emotion, âRose Tyler⌠Rose Tyler loved drugs.â
Oh, it was going to be a long night.
Iâm just going to leave this here.
Favorite thing ever : y/n
Seriously, THIS WINS THE INTERNET.
I canât even look, the awesome is shining so brightly.