hello, and welcome to our own little corner of the internet! we are the lunar system, a DID system of 180+, making a little home for ourselves separate from our online persona as a streamer and content creator. this blog is just for fun, for our own enjoyment, and intended to be **entirely** separate from our career. with that in mind, here is all the baseline info about our system!
as stated before, we are the lunar system, you may refer to the collective as lunar, luna, or tsarena, or use the current fronter’s/poster’s name. every post will be signed off by a specific alter with their pronouns included, unless stated otherwise.
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╰➤ do not interact if… ★ ˎˊ˗
| ☆ you are a minor. some posts on this account may be 18+, so we cannot guarantee this blog will be safe for minors to interact with. as a rule of safety, we do not want minors to interact with this blog.
| ☆ you identify as an endogenic system. we prefer for endos to not interact with us, but we won’t make a big deal out of it or anything of the sort. endos can interact with caution, but please don’t push your beliefs on us.
| ☆ you plan to discuss politics, heavily detail trauma, or anything in that vein. we only trust close friends with these topics and likely won’t be discussing anything like that on our blog, so we’d appreciate not bringing it to us.
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╰➤ what to expect on this blog ★ ˎˊ˗
we are incredibly multifandom with many introjects, so our posts may jump from fandom to fandom frequently. however, we’ve compiled a list of games, movies, and shows we love for reference (you’ll see that we have introjects from most, if not all of these). we also may post other various irl things and thoughts. As stated before, this is our own little corner of the internet.
| ☆ arcane | ☆ baldur’s gate | ☆ beastars | ☆ borderlands | ☆ criminal minds | ☆ cyberpunk 2077 & edgerunners | ☆ danganronpa | ☆ demon slayer | ☆ detroit: become human | ☆ frieren | ☆ from me to you | ☆ genshin impact | ☆ horizon series | ☆ life is strange | ☆ monster high | ☆ mouthwashing | ☆ nier series | ☆ overwatch | ☆ persona 5 royal & phantom x | ☆ spy x family | ☆ steven universe | ☆ the last of us | ☆ the legend of zelda | ☆ the quarry | ☆ valorant | ☆ violet evergarden
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╰➤ links and socials ★ ˎˊ˗
| ☆ discord – lunarrren
| ☆ finch - HY8K4QCHT2
| ☆ simplyplural – lunaren
| ☆ alter and source master list - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-IuaZCw2Uo6dCO--l-sqGTehfHHRytAUhemRe7E5PZA/edit?usp=drivesdk
| ☆ ko-fi - https://ko-fi.com/lunarensystem
| ☆ throne - https://throne.com/lunarensystem
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╰➤ thanks for checking out our page, we hope you enjoy your stay among the stars ★ ˎˊ˗
I’M BACK and I come with some good eats, Kaidan lovers! This is a short letter from Kaidan to the reader, based on my current favourite song. I hope you enjoy! <3
Telephones - Vacations
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You gave me my life back. I was at a time where I didn’t have much left, and the very few things I did have were taken from me, and soon my life was going to be taken as well. Then I saw you, and for a moment I thought you were one of them. I apologize for that. You showed me your kindness still, and freed me from those shackles. You were content with freeing me and going your own way after, but I couldn’t bear to see you walk away. Not after everything I had was returned to me by a stranger. That’s why this hurts so much to say. Well, it hurts so bad I can’t even say it, I have to write it.
I can’t keep doing this. I know I swore to you I would protect you, be your shield. And you said that I’d already repaid that life debt, considering the amount of times I’ve saved you from danger. I wish it were that simple, really. I’m not sure anything I could do could ever match what you did for me, and yet in your eyes I’ve done more than enough for you. I still can’t believe it, but you insist I have.
One night you asked me why I’m still here, with you. And I couldn’t answer that. It’s not that I didn’t know how, I just… couldn’t. I couldn’t tell you every thought that had been circling my mind for days, weeks on end even. It seemed like such a simple question, but there was no easy answer. I watched as your expression shifted. I saw anger, I saw dejection, I saw… disappointment. And for the rest of that night, we sat in silence.
The following morning, I awoke to the sound of the crackling fire, and the first thing I saw after opening my eyes was you. A fur draped around your shoulders, hair messy from sleep. I was used to this sight, this was daily routine. In the golden glow of the sunlight, you looked radiant, like a blessing directly from the nine divines. For a moment, I had forgotten about the previous night, until you turned around to face me. Your eyes were wet with tears, and I once again saw the look of disappointment from the night before. That expression will haunt me for the rest of my days.
Throughout our time together, I’ve slowly been seeing you as more than just the person who saved me, more than just someone I owe a debt to. I’ve noticed little things about you, learned your favourite things, seen the way you hold yourself and handle situations. I’ve met the real person, and if I’m entirely honest, I’ve fallen for you. I didn’t know what it was at first, but after I realized it was on my mind at all times. I was stumbling over myself, acting a fool at times. All because I was trying to maintain a professional relationship with you while coming to terms with my feelings about you. You were always on my mind. No matter what I did, I saw your smile, your delicate hands, the sound of your voice. No matter what I was doing, you were there; either in front of me or in my mind.
For a while there I almost thought you’d felt the same. Your smile grew wider when I made you happy, you laughed a little longer when I made a stupid joke. It felt like I was truly connecting with you, the person who was now the centre of my whole world. Now I’ve seen the light inside you dim, and I’ve watched you slowly drift away from me. And it was all because I couldn’t tell you how I really felt. I can’t make you smile anymore, I can’t make you laugh. I was supposed to protect you, and now I’ve hurt you. I wounded you in a way no magic could heal.
I have to leave. I can’t bear to see the hurt in your eyes when you look at me anymore. I hope you will forgive me someday, and that you will live the incredible life I know you’re destined to live. I wish I could live without you, but you’re a part of me. You gave me everything back, and now everything I know is yours too. Wherever I go, you’ll always be next to me. In my memories of you, in my dreams, and my heart. Nothing I do will ever be without you, as I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be more for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your question. Maybe in another life we would have spent all our days side by side , but in this one the only thing beside me is my memory of you. I’m sorry.
hi lovelies we’re not dead i promise! we have lots of things going on and many many art pieces in the works! here’s a wip of one of our dragonborns and kaidan for you all to munch on <3
haven’t posted in forever i’m so sorry about that!!! we’ve been working on a couple pieces of art but want more ideas of things to write! if you have any fanfic suggestions for ANY media (that we have listed in our intro) please please please give them to me! <3
happy halloween! this idea was swirling around in my head for quite some time, and i have finally finished writing it! we hope you enjoy, and hail sithis!
cw: religion, ritualistic suicide, detailed gore
17th of Frostfall
I was born in blood; in death. I’ll never clean the blood from my hands. The crimson has seeped deep into my skin, it is now a part of me, and my soul. These hands have slit many throats, stabbed many hearts, broke many bones. I am the intermediary between life and death, man/mer and the Void. An instrument of death, in service of the Dread Father himself, Lord Sithis. Yet, I find myself in a predicament I could have never predicted. A citizen performed the Black Sacrament, praying to our Mother… praying for my demise. I have read much of our history, the known stories of Dark Brotherhood past, and yet I can’t recall a time in which this has happened. I am the first, the only assassin in the name of Sithis and the Night Mother who must lay their will upon themself. And I must say… I am honoured. To be chosen by the Void for taking others’ lives, and now, the last life I will take will be my own. Yes… I will carry this out with my own two hands.
23rd of Frostfall
After much thinking, I have decided on my own fate. With the all the lives I’ve taken, the souls I’ve sent to the Void, and my unwavering devotion to the Night Mother and the Dread Father, I believe I have earned the right to choose how I end my life. I just need a little more time to put the plan in place. I hope Sithis understands, and will wait patiently for my demise.
31st of Frostfall
This is it. On this night, the 31st of Frostfall, I will die. Everything is in order. I will create a gruesome scene, and it will be perfect. I have set up almost everything, including the traditional Black Sacrament arrangement. The candles, the book, the dagger, the nightshade. There’s only one thing missing: the body and its parts.
In a hidden chamber of the sanctuary, I will sit in centre of my display; myself as the final piece of it all. My heart beats quickly, but this feeling is not fear. No, my heart races with excitement. My whole time in service of the Dark Brotherhood, I had felt that my life was leading up to something important, something I did not know yet. With this contract placed upon me, I have found that this… this is it. The moment my whole life has lead up to. Some may think this to be a terrible circumstance, but make no mistake, this is exactly what I want. This needs to happen. I shall take the dagger, my dagger that has seen the loss of many lives, in my hand. With it, I will slice a shallow slit into my hand. This deep crimson I shall never cleanse from myself. No, after this night I will never have the chance. Next, I will drag my bloodied hand across the cold stone floor, creating a ring around myself and circling the lit candles. Then, I shall press my hand gently on my cheek, leaving a deep red hand print on my face. In anticipation of the end of it all, I will lay in the centre of my circle of fire and blood. The finale is almost upon me, and I simply cannot wait a longer.
A Note to All Brothers and Sisters
If you are reading this, you are at the scene of my gruesome death, my greatest creation. As you gaze upon my corpse, the metallic smell of my own blood is filling the air. So sickeningly sweet, so wonderfully grim. Please, admire my work, my utter devotion to the final moments of my life. Understand that this was not a choice, not a sad escape of my life. No, this was required. You see, as the Listener, the Night Mother whispered to me the name of an individual in the need of our services. Upon arrival, the bounty they placed happened to be on my own head. As terrible as it may seem, who am I to refuse someone’s prayers to our Lady? This was my preordained destiny. There was no running from this, from my fate. I had no desire to, which left me with only one option: to take my own life. As you can see with the scene before you, I have carefully planned every last detail of my death. You may look upon me, my flesh carved from my bones and my heart free from my chest. There must be so much blood. Admire my work, please, sing my praises to our Night Mother and our Dread Father. Tell them of my devotion, dedication to the art of death, and may my soul sleep soundly in the Void. I beg you to use my body, make use of the complete list of requirements to perform the Black Sacrament. If someone must die, let me be the vessel to hold the prayer. I promise, I will bear the prayer and deliver it to our Mother. Even in death, I wish to serve the sanctuary and Sithis. I beg you, don’t let me go to waste.
another small fic for the kaidan lovers! fluff gn alchemist dragonborn x kaidan fic, split into two parts, a kaidan letter and a db pov! hope you enjoy <3
I’ve come to admire the simple things in life. I’ve always liked the forests in the Rift, more than anywhere else. Now, after travelling with you for a while, you’ve found a way to make me like it even more. I never really noticed the details, like the wildlife and the plants. But watching you pick up every little thing you see has made me realize it’s so much more than just pretty forests and mountains.
I still have no idea how you do it, how you brew together all those potions with random things you pick up in our travels. Flowers, fungi, butterflies… makes no fucking sense to me but you make magic out of it. Kinda fun watching you look for them, you know? It’s funny, seeing you jump around trying to catch dragonflies, bees, and butterflies. The expressions you make are cute. Watching you examine each mushroom, pick out the best flowers, and that fucking smile… gets me every damn time.
Every time I see a flower I think of you. Almost caught me picking one for you the other day. Told you I was looking at the dirt, but no. I was trying to make you smile again. But I can’t just pick every damn flower I see and hand them to you, now can I? I’d look like a bloody idiot after a while. You’d probably get sick of it too. Shit. You probably already are. Why would you need flowers from me if you already have so many? Gods, I’m an idiot. I thought it was a sign that maybe you’d noticed just how much I like you, how I’m thinking about you all the time, how I can’t even focus on anything else but you. Shit. Another note for the fire. You’re a fucking idiot, Kaidan.
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“Hm… I’m running low on mora tapinella. Can you keep your eyes peeled for some?” I say to Kaidan, peering into my alchemy pouch and examining what ingredients I have left.
“Seems like I need more red mountain flowers, canis root, and… imp stools. Ugh, that means we’re gonna have to go into some caves.” I turn to look at Kaidan, and catch him crouching down, looking at something along the side of the road. “What are you doing?”
“Me, oh, oh nothing! Just uh… looking at the dirt.” He replies, standing up quickly and looking anywhere but at me. I hear him mumbling to himself, and I shake my head with a small smile. As much as his mumbling drives me crazy, lately I’ve started thinking it’s kind of charming. I start heading down the road a little further, spying a blue butterfly perched on a low tree branch. I approach to catch it, and in response it flies up high above. I jump for it, trying to catch it again, but it’s just out of reach. Behind me, I hear him laughing.
“What’s so funny?” I say while shooting him a irritated look. He comes up beside me, and before I even realize what’s happening, I feel his hands on my waist, hoisting me up. My arms raise high and clap together, capturing the butterfly. He sets me down gently, and I freeze, a bright red colour quickly covering my cheeks. He looks at me and then quickly looks away, the same red covering his cheeks too.
“Sorry, sorry! I should’ve asked- I wasn’t thinking, I just uh… shit-“ He stammers, taking a few steps back to give me some space. I shake my head a little, as if to shake the embarrassing thoughts out of my head.
“Ugh, I wish I was as tall as you! I’d be able to catch so many more butterflies and dragonflies.” I sigh, tucking the butterfly into my pouch.
“Wouldn’t have any need for me then, now would ya?” Kaidan jokes, but I hear a slight anxiousness in his words.
“You make me feel a lot safer, you know. I really like having you with me.” I inform him, the mood settling down to a mellow, calm tone. This isn’t the first time he’s given me butterflies in my stomach, but this is the first time I’ve caught them in my hands too.
“Really? That’s um… right, yeah. Yeah, I’m glad. I thought I’d be bored when we first started travelling together, you know? Shit, that came out wrong… um, I really like it too. You’re a very interesting person.” He shoots me an awkward smile, the kind that makes my heart flutter, almost like butterfly wings. Why does everything have to do with butterflies right now? When I see that happiness in his eyes, I can’t help but smile myself.
We made our way all the way to Riften, and I’ve almost filled up my pouch. I’ve found plenty of canis root, picked through every patch of red mountain flowers I found, and even found some small patches of imp stools along the rocky cliff sides. The sun has begun to set as we make it to the gate, and we stop in a small, grassy area. I sit down on the ground, watching the gentle breeze blow the golden leaves off the branches of the trees. Kaidan sits beside me, looking across the horizon to the mountains ahead. He looks lost in thought, distracted by something. For as long as we’ve been travelling together, I’ve come to recognize his expressions, and I recognize this as anxiety, concern.
“What is it, Kaidan? Is something wrong?” I ask him, trying to figure out what’s going through his head. He looks at me, looking me right in the eyes for the first time all day.
“Dragonborn… do you still have need of me?” He pauses, a sharp and shaky breath escaping his mouth. I’ve never seen him this way before, and it sends a dagger through my heart.
“Kaidan…” my voice trails off, and I can almost hear the fear coursing through his body. Until now, I never realized just how much I need him in my life. Everywhere I go, he’s always with me. Every cave, every ruin, every city every town… no matter where I am he’s always with me. Despite what some folk think about him, he doesn’t care. He’s there for me no matter what. His devotion to me is so deeply rooted in my heart and soul, thinking about a life without him pains me.
“I don’t think I could survive without you. I don’t think I could live without you.” I look at him with a warm, yet serious look. I deeply mean the words that left my mouth. His expression shifts, a wave of calm floods his body, and I can almost see tears forming in his eyes. I almost can’t believe what I’m seeing.
“I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while now, but… My oath… I never want it to be fulfilled. For as long as you have need of me, I will be here. Forever. To the gates of Oblivion and back.” That gentle yet serious tone melts my heart, and knowing his devotion to me is unwavering reassures me that any battle ahead will be worth fighting.
“Kaidan I…” those special three words almost fall out of my mouth instantly and I catch myself before saying them. I look away, back to the forest of gold decorated with pink from the setting Sun. Before I can think about why I couldn’t say them, I hear rustling from beside me, and I jump at a gentle touch on the side of my head. I feel him gently tucking my hair behind my ear, tucking a small object behind it too. I gently feel the object, noticing the softness of petals and the veins of leaves. By touch alone, I can recognize it as a Dragon’s Tongue flower. I turn to him, a smile forcing its way onto my lips.
“I know you probably have a bunch of these but… I just like to see you smile, and um… yeah.” His eyes dart around, looking anywhere but me. The colour on his cheeks matches the beautiful sunset. It’s beautiful. He’s beautiful. I gently hold his face, placing a small kiss on his cheek.
we’re likely going to participate in a few days of kinktober, but not all of them! they’ll likely be small fics but god knows we’d keep writing and end up with a 12 page fic again
this has been our passion project for the past couple weeks and i’m so excited to release this!
kaidan x fem dragonborn, rough play, small amount of blood play
soon i’m going to write a dom fem dragonborn alternative, so if that’s of interest please let me know >:)
It was the thrill. The blood running hot, pulsing through your veins, your heart working double time to keep up with you. The rush of energy, darting through the trees in the darkest hours of the night. This is unnatural, your response to the moon in the highest point in the sky. Your instincts are being overwritten by that of a beast, one that craves the flesh of man. Grabbing, squeezing, clawing, pinning… They are helpless against your form. The hunger overwhelms, fuels your instincts to hunt, and when you find your prey… you savour every last second of it. The sounds of their screams, feeling the strain on their bodies as they try to fight against it, and inevitably, the tensity of your saliva dripping down from your teeth to their throats, anticipating the fresh meal. A hunt this good keeps you wishing it could last a lifetime.
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“You put up quite the fight last night, eh?” a familiar voice greets you as you slowly wake up, the sun peeking over the horizon and leaving a warm, orange blanket of light across the land. Kaidan’s voice rings like a sweet bell in your ears, easing your waking.
“Um… what? That sounds…” your voice trails off, the rasp in the back of your throat catching the rest of your sentence.
“Shit, sorry. That came out wrong. I meant that, uh… you must’ve had quite the dream last night. You were making all kinds of noises. Hell, you had drool dripping from the corner of your mouth for awhile.” He recounts, igniting a small curiosity in you at his detailed retelling.
“Really? I don’t remember it… did I keep you up at all? Y’know, since you can so clearly recall the details.” Your eyes finally meet his, seeing his expression that highlights notes of surprise and avoidance.
“No, no, nothing like that. I was already awake.” His eyes dart away from yours. “You haven’t slept the same since you became a member of The Circle. Are you alright?” Kaidan’s tone levels, the concern becoming the top note of his words.
“I’m fine, it’s nothing. Just… the pressure of being a new role model for the newer recruits, I suppose.” The lie slips from your tongue so swiftly, your priority being maintaining the secret of The Circle. It feels wrong, keeping a secret from your shield, your protector, your confidant. It almost feels like you are protecting him now, from this secret. The best kept secret among The Companions, that those within The Circle bear the blood of the beast, a gift from Lord Hircine. You possess the blood, the blessing, but the lands of Tamriel are not always so welcoming to those who wear their blessing with pride. Ever since that night with the Silver Hand, the night where Skjor’s life was taken by those foul hunters, you are reluctant to share your new half.
“Are you sure? The way you thrash and groan, growl almost… I’m worried about you.” Kaidan’s tone softens, sending a warm feeling to your heart, like a warm blanket wrapped around it. “I mean uh… I just don’t want nights like that affect our travels, is all.” He shuffles around, beginning to pack up camp. You fail to find any words, and the silence only fuels the tension surrounding the two of you. You both work in silence, packing up the rest of camp.
“So, where to now?” He chimes, lifting the tension like it weighed nothing at all.
“Actually, back to Jorrvaskr. I meant to pick up a job, after I was initiated into The Circle. But… I never had the opportunity to-“ Your sentence cuts short, flashes of blood, claws, bloody teeth and cries of fear fill your mind, a brief memory that sends a chill through your veins.
“Alright then! Good we decided to camp just outside Riverwood then, eh?” He waits patiently for you to begin the walk, always trailing right behind you.
“Let’s go.”
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The walk is short, but peaceful. A therapeutic journey to ease the dark memories. As you arrive, the guards push open the gates of Whiterun, and you can already hear the sounds of hammers hitting metal, and the morning rabble of the folks picking fresh groceries from the market. The two of you move through the crowd, though it doesn’t take much effort with Kaidan at your side, his height well exceeding all others in the market as they move out of the way for him. Up the stairs, past the Gildergreen, and around to the training ground behind the grand hall. Arrows loose from the bow strings, metal clashes against each other, tense sparring matches between whelps.
“Ah, good to see you both.” Farkas walks up, his warm yet small smile greeting you. “So, how was your night, the other night? I heard you had quite the… celebration. Did Aela give you too much trouble?”
“It went… well. Aela was a good guide, though the fire in her heart ignited a plan of vengeance, for Skjor.” You recount; your time spent in Gallows Rock only to find him dead. Krev the Skinner takes no hostages, not a member of The Companions at least. “I’m here for a job. I’m sure she’s found another Silver Hand camp by now.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me, she hadn’t been at Jorrvaskr until just last night. The sooner you talk to her, the better. She’s in the living quarters, talking to Kodlak.” Farkas walks off, returning to spectate the whelps again.
“Well, guess we should go grab a job then, now that we know where she is.” Kaidan’s tone shifting back into business mode. Entering the grand hall of Jorrvaskr is always a breathtaking sight, meaning that much more when you know the history of the very building you stand in. You’ve come to recognize this place as a home. On the way down to the living quarters, you pause for a moment, in front of the fragments of Wuuthrad. Skjor would have revelled at the reforging of the great weapon, once wielded by Ysgramor himself. You shake the feeling, eyes and mind set on business. But that doesn’t mean Kaidan didn’t notice your diversion in attention…
“He charged in there all by himself, Kodlak. I told him not to go without a Shield-Brother, and his decision not to cost him his life. If only he had called upon the beast, maybe he would have-“
“We have company, Aela.” Kodlak interrupts, his voice echoing through the halls, a voice that could command the attention of anyone.
“Ah, hello Shield-Sister. Have you been bringing the battle to the Silver Hand, friend?” The shift in her voice warms at your arrival, yet still maintaining her enigmatic and candid attitude.
“That’s why we’re here. We’re looking for a job.” Your straightforward response grabs her attention, and now her words are fuelled by revenge.
“I’ve been hearing rumours of Silver Hand activity. A group of them has holed up in Whiterun. Run fast, my friend.” She marks a location on your map. Swindler’s Den, a cave out in the vast fields of the Whiterun hold.
“Remember, young one. I understand your heart is still filled with grief for Skjor, but revenge causes your senses to dull, you become more likely to think with your heart than your mind. Don’t rush in headfirst, plan your attack if it is what you must do.” Kodlak’s wisdom is always sound, a brilliant man with many years of experience. You give him a nod and start for the hall out of the living quarters.
“He’s right, you know. I’d hate to see you get hurt by the fury of revenge. It’d mean I’d have failed my oath, and I can’t live with that.” Kaidan’s voice is low and mellow, and you can tell this is a serious concern of his.
“We’ll be careful. I trust you to pull me back from going in over my head.” You tell him, trying your very best to reassure him.
“Alright, then let’s head off.”
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It’s a beautiful day, the sun shining brightly on the plains of Whiterun. You can’t help but admire the beauty before you, taking in the sights and sounds. The walk across the plains isn’t long, but you’ve decided to draw it out, making sure to soak in the sunshine.
“Can’t be too far away, can we? Didn’t think it was too far.” Kaidan said, curiously looking around.
“No, not too much farther. I hope you’re ready. We need to make sure we kill them all. We can’t afford another attack on Jorrvaskr.” You push the words out of your mouth with force, a determination to ensure that the other members of The Companions are not at risk. You spot jagged rocks, and a tattered banner swaying in the wind. “This is it, I think. Are you ready?”
“Only if you are. I’m not going in without you, I need to make sure you’re ready.” His bright red eyes look directly into yours, causing a slight flush in your cheeks.
“I am. Don’t worry about me.” You break the eye contact, attempting to keep your composure for the combat ahead.
“Bit of a foolish thing to say, don’t you think? Ah, shit… that came out wrong. I meant that it’s a bit silly, you know? Considering that’s my entire life’s purpose.” He fumbles his words slightly, a part of his charm you haven’t failed to notice. “Right, let’s just fuckin’… go.”
Your heart beats like the sharp pounding of a war drum, and burns like the embers of the Skyforge. With Kaidan at your side, you tear through the Silver Hand, tamed vengeance fuelling you, just like Kodlak instructed. Nearing the end of their hideout, a sharp pain shoots through your arms and legs, up to the centre of your chest. You let out an agonizing scream, heavy, deep and growly breaths pushing forcefully out of your lungs. Your heart races, each beat feeding the hunger growing in your stomach. You fall to your knees, feeling as though something is trying to rip through your body from the inside.
“Fuck, what’s going on? Are you alright? Talk to me. Fucking talk to me, I can’t lose you!” Kaidan shouts, falling quickly to your side and wrapping his arms around your shoulders. He shifts his hands to rest just on top of your shoulders, trying to look at your face, which is angled away from his, until your neck snaps to look him directly into his eyes. His expression is of fear and concern, so intense that you’ve never seen it before in your life. He’s scared… and almost like he’s scared of you. A sound of shuffling captures his attention quickly, and he stands to block you from the source of the sound. The leader of the Silver Hand of Swindler’s Den, ready to clear the disturbance from his lair.
“Oh fuck no, not right now. You can fuck right off!” He draws his weapon, and the clashing of metal sounds sharper than ever before. Your senses are overwhelmed, you’re frozen, tense muscles preventing you from even trying to move. With your back to the battle, you can only hear the sounds, the blocking of blows, the sound of rocks and dirt being disturbed under their boots. And then, the sudden sound of a collapse, a body dropping to the ground. Then silence. A hand slowly reaches to your shoulder, and as it barely grazes you, your body jumps into action, grabbing and pulling with the intent of harm.
“Shit, it’s just me! It’s okay, it’s okay.” His voice soothes you. Your grip releases, and as soon as it does his arms are wrapped around you once more. The rush of battle is over. The feeling of tearing and pulling from inside fades, you regain control of your body once more. His touch relieves the painful hunger, the craving for fresh blood and meat. Now, the only craving you have is remaining in his harms. You can feel his hot breath against your neck as he calms from the fight. Your blood runs warm through your veins, yet his breath still sends a shiver through you; an involuntary response to his closeness.
“Shhh… just relax. You’re alright now.” He whispers, so close to your ear your heart skips a beat. The only thing you can think about now is him. You lean into him, falling limp from the extreme strain earlier. He holds you close on the ground, and his gentleness soothes you quickly. Your eyes fall shut, blocking out the sense of sight, heightening your sensitivity to touch. His hold on you never changes, he will only move when you do.
─────── ⋅•⋅⋆∙ ⋆☽ ☆ ☾⋆ ∙⋆⋅•⋅ ───────
The comfort of Kaidan’s tent, the sound of the crackling fire and the smell of freshly cooked dinner ease the burden from your shoulders, finally feeling normal again. It was night by the time the two of you left Swindler’s Den, and although not far from Whiterun, he set up camp just outside the den, ensuring your comfort. He puts a bowl of horker stew in your hands, his cloak wrapped around you while you sit by the fire. He sits on the ground in front of you, holding a bowl of his own.
“Something is wrong. And as much as I don’t want to pressure you, I need to know the truth. I know my oath is to be your shield, but I want you to know it’s more than that now.” His voice lowers to a mumble. “So much more than that now, but I can’t be saying that to loud now can I?”
“You know I hate it when you mumble, Kaidan.” You tell him, the first words you’ve spoken in awhile.
“Oh, uh, I said… I want to help carry some of your burdens. I want to help you as much as I can.” His eyes meet yours, his expression so gentle it soothes you instantly. You remember Skjor leading you to the Underforge, the first sight of Aela in her beast form. The smell of her blood filling the air, the warm, metallic taste of it in your mouth. These memories come to you, but this time without the trembles of fear and worry.
“I need to tell you something important. But you need to promise me, swear to me that you won’t tell another soul. Nobody at all.” You say as you meet his eyes. He sets his bowl down beside him, listening to your words fully. Not even horker could tear him away from you, his devotion eternally unwavering.
“Of course, Dragonborn. I’m sworn to you, in every way.” The words fall out of his mouth like a waterfall of sugary sweetness. His words linger in your ears, almost taunting your heart to flutter. His trust in you, your trust in him, both reinforce that telling him the truth is the right thing to do.
“The Circle, of The Companions. A long time ago, a previous Harbinger made a pact with the Witches of Glenmoril. The terms were that if The Companions hunted in the name of Lord Hircine, we would be granted great power. The terms of this pact were not detailed, and such that Harbinger did not know this power would be permanent. That power was, no- is…” You find yourself struggling to say the words, the words that would allow an outsider to know an ancient secret of The Companions. He looks at you with a look of anxiety and anticipation.
“Come on, don’t leave me hanging. You can tell me. Please tell me.” His begging makes your heart scream with lust, a feeling you can’t shake. This feeling, this compelling feeling… You stand up, walking out of the tent. You stop and turn to him, waiting for him to stand and follow. As soon as he realizes what you mean, he is right by your side.
His tone, his look… everything about him awakens an instinct in you that you’ve never felt before. You lead him across the plains of Whiterun, the moon and stars shining on you both, Kaidan trailing behind you. Not quite a full moon, but you know to expect one soon. This feeling… it must be the influence of the moon. This intense, burning feeling that warms every single part of your body. Telling him now is the only option, lest he find out about your secret from witnessing the transformation firsthand. No, this is the only way. You need to tell him. Show him. Show him every single part of you. You peer over your shoulder, a small grin appearing on your face as you look back at him. You pick up the pace, and now you can practically hear him tripping over himself.
“I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but gods dammit if she doesn’t have me fully captivated… how does she do it? I don’t fucking know what it is about her that’s so damn intriguing but I just can’t look away… fuck me, what did I get meself into?” His babbling behind your back causes you to turn to him, still walking, but now backwards. The smile that you give him makes his cheeks flush bright red. You turn back to face the city, knowing his eyes are locked on you, and only you. The guards at the gate see you coming, and by the time you reach the gate, it’s already wide open. You run, causing him to lose sight of you. This is a different feeling, now. The feeling of the hunt, the chase. He’s on your tail, trying to hunt you down. The very thought of it is a rush, a fluttering feeling in your stomach. This isn’t what prey feel like during the hunt… no, you want him to find you. You need him to find you. You finally hear the footsteps coming up the stairs to Jorrvaskr, and he finally sees you. You can see his shoulders drop, the tensity in his arms ease as he slows his pace back down.
“What the fuck, Dragonborn? Are you trying to lose me or something? You could just tell me to get lost.” He lets out a chuckle, out of breath, but not at all bothered. It seems he enjoyed the act of the hunt, too. You slide the entrance to the Underforge open, and his eyes widen.
“Has this been here the whole bloody time? Can’t believe I didn’t notice until now.” His voice drops to his typical mumble again, the kind that annoys you, but also find slightly cute in the way he talks to himself. “Maybe I do believe it… I always have my eyes set on something else… well, more like someone.” You shoot him a glare that could pierce right through him and grab his arm with an unusual strength, pulling him into the Underforge and closing the large stone door behind you. The moonlight slips through the cracks of the stone, providing just enough light to see.
“This is where I was initiated, where I received the gift. Some think the power granted by this pact is a curse, and some think it’s a blessing.” You explain, peering into the basin in the centre of the room. Some of Aela’s blood is still resting inside, the deep crimson sending a chill down your spine, memories of your first transformation flooding in and reminding you of the blood you spilled that night. So much blood. Kaidan steps up beside you, looking into the basin himself.
“What the hell is this?” He looks away from the blood, locking eyes with you. His confusion is almost anger or frustration, but he still can’t be mad at you. No, there’s nothing you could do to make him angry at you.
“This is how I received the power. A blood offering from Aela.” You dip your finger into the blood, now cold from the stone. Your gaze doesn’t stray from his, and he recognizes the seriousness of your face.
“You’re teasing me, aren’t you, Dragonborn? Pokin’ fun at me, trying to get me to believe some joke, aren’t ya?” His face holds a playful expression, grinning at you. While he may be unsure as to what is going on, you can still tell he trusts you unconditionally. The truth is at the tip of your tongue, daring to fall out of your mouth to share the secret. It feels like a cold, metal blade against your tongue; a threat, a hostage to prevent you from saying it. However, you’re all too familiar with the taste of metal in your mouth. Metal and blood are second nature to you now.
“We’re werewolves, Kaidan. Aela has the blood of the wolf, and by consuming it… I became one, too.” You wipe your finger on the edge of the basin, the streak of blood catching the light of the moon and shimmering at you. The moon is almost taunting you, poking the beast within. There’s an intensity in your eyes that stops Kaidan immediately.
“By the nine, you’re not lying to me, are you? The Circle, you’re all werewolves?” He says, trying to make sure he knows exactly what you’re saying.
“Yes. All of us.” You nod, and he stands up straight.
“Even Farkas and Vilkas?” His brows angle down in slight anger. You nod again, watching the expression on his face change repeatedly, cycling through every expression he has.
“Those bastards… no wonder they’re so good at tracking. Can’t believe they didn’t tell me!” He throws his arms up in the air, baffled by the knowledge you just granted him. He moves closer to you, his face returning to his resting expression, which looks cold and distant. But based on how close he is to you now, that couldn’t be further from the truth. He slowly takes your hand into his, palm up, and gently traces the veins visible on your arm.
“So, the blood of the beast… werewolf blood… runs through your veins now too?” Kaidan looks back up at you, his expression softening after looking into your eyes. Your cheeks begin to flush red as he holds your hand, the warmth of his skin against yours a direct juxtaposition to the cold, damp air that surrounds the two of you.
“Yes. I’m sorry I kept it from you, I know I should have-“
“Shhh… it’s alright. You were preserving the honour of The Circle; you were doing what you thought was right. I swore an oath to you, to protect you and all you own, including your secrets. It’s safe with me. You are safe with me.” His voice soothes you instantly, but it also sends a warm sensation throughout your body, feeling it most in your stomach.
“Does it bother you, that I’m a werewolf? First you didn’t know you were swearing yourself to protecting a Dragonborn, but now a werewolf too? Is it too much for you?” All your swirling thoughts pour out of you, thoughts that have been bothering you for far too long.
“I told you, I swore myself to you, not who I thought you were. No matter what you are, I’m yours. Your… shield, I mean. Yeah. It was your choice, wasn’t it? Besides, I kind of like the wild edge it’s given you.” The flirtatiousness of his last words drives you mad, and you lock your hand in his, staring deeply into his eyes. His other hand slowly makes its way up to your waist, holding tight enough to keep you in place. The tension could be cut with a blade, locking you both in a moment that feels like an eternity. Far too long for nothing to happen. Before you could even blink, his lips are against yours, kissing you with a gentle, yet forceful energy. His hand cups your face gently, brushing his thumb against your cheek, his other fingers resting on your neck. This rush… you’ve never felt anything like it before. You can’t help but to lean into him, craving more and more until he suddenly pulls away, his expression a kind of seriousness you’ve only seen from him a few times before.
“Fuck, I’m sorry- I didn’t ask, I should’ve asked… is this… is this okay?” He blurts out, undertones of worry and excitement mixing into an unusual combination.
“Please, don’t stop.” The words leave your mouth, and as soon as he processed what you said, his lips are locked with yours again. The hand on your hip gripping harder, the fingers on your neck digging into your skin slightly, his grip on you is hard; a force behind his movements, a desire, a yearning that has finally been freed. His strong, assertive grip on you is something you’ve dreamt of for a long time, and now that his hands are finally on you, you melt like ice in his warm arms. He pulls you around, pushing you against the wall. The sensation of his warm breath against your neck, your back against the cold stone, sends goosebumps up and down your arms. His lips make their way to your neck, and you can hear his breaths quicken as his hands slide up and down your body. You can hear slight growls arise from his throat, a gentle bite on your neck sends a shiver through you, shaking at the sensation. His movements grow more assertive, dominant. This new side of you… craves the intensity, the boldness of his actions that he’s been holding back for far too long.
He pulls away for another brief moment, to look you in the eyes once more. The look in his eyes… you can tell there is nowhere he would rather be than right here, with you, touching you, feeling you. “How are you doing? Still alright? Sorry, I got a little… rough-“ The gentleness of his voice is a stark contrast between his actions just before speaking, and it’s pulling your heart in two different directions. Lust and love.
“I thought I told you not to stop? I I love every second of this.” You look deep into his eyes, your words sharp, carrying a tone of ardent desire. You can practically see him swoon, his cheeks flushing red and a charming, lecherous grin spreading across his face. It takes no more than a split second for him to return to touching every part of you he can see, detailing every single place. He gently places a hand on your chest, small squeezes as he continues to mark you. He stands up straight again, holding the bottom of your camp shirt and pulling up as he stands. You can see his expression change as he sees you topless for the first time, his surprise causing you slight confusion.
“What are you so surprised by?” A cheeky question causing an immovable grin to form on your face after speaking it. He looks away from you, his awkward side showing itself again. If you were unsure it was Kaidan earlier, you’re definitely sure it's him now.
“Never expected to see you like this. I had to be professional, serious. I’m supposed to be your shield, not someone to get tangled in the sheets with.”
“Why not both?” You tug at his shirt, pulling it off of him. It’s been so long since you saw his scars, both from battle and from torture. Each one tells a story, a piece of his past. You see his whole self laid out before you. This is him, the real Kaidan. And he is yours. His lips meet yours once more, for a brief moment, before moving down to your chest, your stomach, around your waist. He slides your pants down a little, kissing your hips and biting gently. He stands up, him towering over you sending a feeling of euphoria throughout your body. He forcefully pulls you close, and you can feel him hard against you.
“Can you tell I’ve wanted this for a long time?” He says with a laugh, his hand placed on your exposed hip, slowly moving into your pants. Despite his large size, his touch is incredibly delicate, soft gentle movements arousing trembles and quiet moans from you. Every single touch is bliss, your own personal Sovengarde.
“Come on Dragonborn… I hear you shout all the time, why so quiet now?” You’ve never heard such cheekiness from him before, and his sultry voice arises louder moans from you, involuntary but not unwelcome. You can see it driving him mad, his eyes rolling back for a moment from pure enjoyment. Mere moments later, you’re kicking off your boots and he’s undoing your belt and helping you slide your pants off. You’re fully exposed before him and the frigid air and stone, yet you feel completely safe. He would never let anything happen to you, nothing you didn’t want. He steps back, leaning against the stone basin in the centre of the room.
“Fuck me… I want you so bad.” He breathily growled, undoing his own belt and tossing it to the ground. It doesn’t take long for his hands to be back on you, and before you know it, he has picked you up, sliding you up the cold stone wall, and your eyes meet at the same level.
“Please, tell me this is what you want. Don’t let this be a dream.” You find his begging adorable, and your lips meet his once again.
“Yes… yes. Gods, yes, it’s all I want.” Your pleading matches his, and your energies fuse in a beautiful, sensual harmony. Your legs tighten around him, pulling him a little closer, despite seeming as close as you could be. The only way he could possibly be closer… is if he was inside you. As he slides in, you can feel him pulsing inside you. Slowly moving, shifting, back and forth in a slow rhythm. This moment is so sensual, personal, intensely intimate. His gentleness is impressive, he knows just how to touch you, and when to touch you that way. You shoot a sharp look into his eyes, a grin lighting your face. He grins back, beginning to quicken his pace. He shifts you slightly, a euphoric feeling taking over from the feeling in your hips and lower abdomen. Your eyes slide closed, feeling the moment all the more intensely. You listen to his breathing, his low growls and grunts of pleasure; the sounds he makes are positively intoxicating. This moment with him seems longer than the others, an oasis amongst the others that came and went so quick. Until…
…He pulls out slowly, setting you down on your feet. You can tell he still has plans for you, but your eyes shift away, the moonlight shimmering in its reflection off the blood in the basin. You move past him, dipping your finger in again. But this time… you lick the blood, and not even a second passes before your heart rate quickens, blood pulsing throughout your entire body. Your senses are heightened, and your eyes stare widely into his. His expression clearly shows his bewilderment, but you quickly snap him out of that after latching your hands onto him. The feeling the blood gives you reminds you of your first night as a beast, a werewolf in the dark of the night. However this time, these memories don’t haunt you, no… they please you, and in that moment Kaidan fully understands.
He’s rough with you, grabbing, squeezing, clawing, pinning… You are helpless against his form. Your body is his canvas, and with every movement of his, a new mark is left behind. Bites and bruises, pleasure and pain melting together. He pushes you to the back of the Underforge, onto a ledge where you can sit. He pulls you into the exact position he wants, pulling one of your legs over his shoulder before sliding back inside of you. Every movement of his is forceful, but with a delicate side. He gazes into your eyes as he thrusts deep inside, his red eyes locked on you. You are all he cares about; you are all he wants. He picks you up again, carrying you without support from the wall. The blood inside your veins boils hot, your nails digging hard into his back.
“Leaving marks of your own now, huh? I suppose it would be normal for you to mark your territory.” He pushes out the words between hot breaths, his movements getting increasingly quicker. His pounding, his grip on your leg, every feeling sends tremors through your body, feeling every single motion.
“Fuck, Kaidan… fuck-!” Your body explodes with pleasure, an electrifying feeling that stops all other senses from grabbing your attention. This is your time, an entire moment dedicated to your pleasure and satisfaction. He sets you down again, pulling out one last time, and decorating you with his own way of marking his territory. The look in his eyes, the way you’re locked onto each other… This intimacy is so deep, a new connection formed between the two of you. He’s far more than just your travelling companion, your shield… no, it’s so much more personal. You both take a moment to catch your breaths, and he steps toward you, taking your hand in his. His hands are big compared to yours, fully encased in his grasp.
“This may sound stupid as fuck, but… I really like you, you know. If that wasn’t obvious.” You chuckle at his silly words, nodding in agreement. He sits down beside you, pulling you into his lap. You wrap an arm around his shoulder, holding him close.
“I like you too, Kaidan.” You say with another small laugh, and he slowly starts to stroke your hair, gentle and intimate. The contrast is astounding, mere moments ago he was holding you tight, combining pain and pleasure in a way you’ve never felt before. Now, he’s so gentle and calm, and you can see just how much he cares for you.
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to say that, and how much I wanted you to say that back.” He breathes a deep breath, a sigh of relief and contentment. You lean up, placing a small kiss on his cheek. He pushes your hair behind your ear, looking into your eyes with an expression that puts butterflies in your stomach and a warm feeling in your chest. This is the most special moment; there is nowhere either of you would rather be. Silence fills the room, but it doesn’t feel awkward or strange. No, it’s peaceful and satisfying, soaking in the feelings of warmness and comfort as he holds you.
“You know, there’s another thing I’ve been wanting to say for awhile now. I know I said I’d never want to swear meself to a group ever again, but… I want to join The Companions. I want to stand by your side, I want to help the others, I want to do great things in the name of The Companions. I want to bring honour to this group.” He takes a moment to look at the rest of the room, taking slow, deep breaths. He looks at you in the eyes again, cupping a hand on your cheek. A small smile spreads across your face, compassionate and caring.
not sure if this was intentional design but every time i go to cross a river in skyrim, there’s always stones that you can jump on to cross the river, without getting your boots wet and it just makes me happy c:
a Kaidan slow burn romance and smut fanfic is in the works right now and working on this is so fun jfjgjfjg- it’s going to be a companions related fic, and i might make a sequel… with some werewolf involved… >:)
gonna start writing smut and it’s entirely Kaidan’s fault, if there’s any other Kaidan lovers or Skyrim NPCs you want something written about, PLEASE give me suggestions, i wanna serve the community <3
alright i genuinely have a problem at this point if you know me/us irl no you don’t- if you read this it’s on you, also minors dni
i started playing this goddamn Kaidan mod and I’ve had fucking butterflies in my stomach literally ever since he first flirted with me HE’S LITERALLY PIXELS ON MY SCREEN??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? i love stupid awkward men i love them so much i love it when they fucking mumble their wholesome and unwholesome little feelings because they don’t have the confidence to say it to their crush his accent is fucking mesmerizing i’ve practically made no progress in this goddamn game because i’m stopping every two seconds to see if he has something new to say for me- i’m so thankful i did the companions quest the interactions he has with the other members are fucking hilarious and i’m gonna be entirely honest it’s a huge fucking ego boost playing as the dragonborn with this mod because everyone wants me and holy fucking fuck i feel like the protagonist of a dating sim and everyone who wants me is SO FUCKING HOT i’m gonna start writing fan fiction i haven’t done that in years but this fictional man is putting way too many thoughts and fantasies in my head-
tbh i need friends who i can be feral with and will allow me to say all my unwholesome thoughts but ENTIRELY platonically because i am happily married
haven’t posted in awhile, but oh boy do i have stuff to post now- we finally caved and installed the Kaidan mod for skyrim and holy fuckingngh shit this man puts butterflies in my stomach and i lose my goddamn mind every time he says something kfgmmfgm i think we may start live posting our reactions to some of his lines because owoeoekfkrkfj
we’re out of sleeping meds and it’s actually killing me, still awake at 4:16am and I’m not even super tired, despite downing melatonin gummies like it’s candy- gonna blow up (this isn’t meant to be a vent) -Ryan
hi, I’m a vampire sexual protector and I need to put this somewhere soooo if this topic is far too much for you or you’re a minor please don’t read this!
this is going to be heavily nsfw, kink and blood talk
i’m fucking screaming and feeling feral i want to bite, it’s a kink and unfortunately the human bite the most dangerous of all but all i fucking want is just a little bit of kinky blood play but it’s so unsafe and i’m not putting the body or our partner at risk of anything, does anyone relate to this or knows coping method? fuckign PLEASE let me know i’m feral -Laila
