"How do I fix it if my brain has been wired this way due to past traumas?"
Making a conscious shift can feel almost impossible because your nervous system is working against you. I get it. But the key is little consistent actions—you don’t need to force yourself to “think positive,” but you can start disrupting the automatic patterns.
Awareness is your best friend. You can't change what you don't see and that is absolutely not your fault. Notice when your brain goes into self sabotage or negative loops. Instead of fighting it, just observe: “Oh, this is my brain doing its thing.” Label it: “This is a trauma response, not reality.” My personal advice would be to actually journal the situation, so you can actually start mapping desired outcomes or alternative methods. This will bring you more awareness and will actually cause you to pause when you are in a similar situation that invokes similar feelings. Then, when you catch a negative thought, don’t argue with it. Just pause. Try a pattern breaker: shake your hands out, take a deep breath, or say “Not today.”
Even 5 seconds of interruption starts rewiring your brain. Instead of forcing positive affirmations like “I am worthy” (which your brain might reject), try neutral shifts:
“I am open to seeing this differently.”
“Maybe this thought isn’t 100% true.”
“What if things turn out better than I expect?”
Trauma is stored in the body, not just the mind—so physical regulation is key. Breath work, walking, grounding are some things you can immediately do to calm your nervous system and help rewire trauma. If you slip into old patterns, don’t shame yourself—that reinforces the cycle.
You don't have to feel different to act different. This is something a lot of people get wrong. Your brain will make you feel how it is used to feeling. Your brain might not believe the new thoughts yet, but if you act as if—even in small ways—your biology will eventually catch up.
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