teo

23, he/him ✧ active nov 2024 ✧ tw: ed ugw: 45 kg

[vexheart]

This

[stvrlightttze]

We have different priorities here clearly✨🤩

[ttylcore]

i wish there was something new i could say but im just repeating the same things. i wish he would love me loudly, and i hate feeling like a secret. i feel like he’s embarrassed by me and i just starve myself and get drunk to deal with it. i hate being like this. but at the same time even right now we last spoke at 7 n he rang me just a minute ago to check in on me and the whole time before i was like i hate feeling like this and now im happy because he called and told me he loves me but i don’t know if it’s enough for me. we’ve been in limbo for 5 months almost and i adore him but i’ve never met any of his friends, i met his housemate briefly once but that’s it. i don’t have any role in his life. i feel like i’m nothing.

[ttylcore]

im so exhausted!!!!!! i want to love and be loved loudly and publicly and freely!!!!!

[ttylcore]

i’m so so deeply traumatised and it’s coming in between my relationship. i don’t want to hurt him but i keep using toxic tactics to get his attention and it’s killing me. he’s so so lovely and sweet, so thoughtful and kind and i keep being mean to him. i don’t mean to be but my sharp edges are from my last relationship and i am finding it so hard to trust again.

[ttylcore]

i haven’t felt this way since i was probably about 17 but i’m so fucking emotional because i love a person and he loves me back but i’m crying all the time thinking about if he’s just lying and there’s no reason he would lie because we don’t have a lot of sex and we just spend time together but i’m just scared of ending bc i love him and i’m scared of anything happening i’m fully so scared of love after my ex and don’t know what to do. i think i am damaged and don’t know what that means for me. i’ve also got issues with my best friend at the moment and that hurts so fucking bad. i’m just feeling a lot of pain at the moment.

[ttylcore]

i’m turning 23 tomorrow and i honestly don’t know how i feel. i feel like crying. not sure what else. i’ve got a boy that i love and he loves me, but i think its too good to be true. i’ve got a house that is safe, but i think that’s too good to be true too. i’m just terrified i don’t deserve to have good things. i’m scared about the future and my safety and stability. i feel like i’ve gotten so used to fear that i don’t know if i’ll be able to feel calm again. i’m insecure about everything… my safety, my happiness, my body, my job

i just want to feel safe and happy

[risinjg]

hi guys,

haven’t posted on here in a while. i’m posting today because i’m in extreme need of help with my rent.

i’m a vulnerable trans masc and i’m facing potential homelessness and i have set up a gofundme so if anyone is able to spare a bit of change to help me out, i’d really appreciate it.

i put some of my interests in the tags to hopefully find people with similar interests that might help me out :)

Donate to Help Mars to not get evicted, organized by mars amendolara nolan

Hi everyone ! So I am a trans masc bisexual that has been renting in Leeds. I’ve b… mars amendolara nolan needs your support for Help Mars

[sarannajj]

i am putting my body at risk for myself last year. she didn’t deserve the treatment she got and i need to prove them wrong.

[4nabanan4]

Every skinny girl you're jealous of throws up meals behind closed doors while you're sitting there sneaking extra food.

[eddienotfeddie]

Its only been two hours and you are already eating again. You are gunna be huge forever.

[jules-sharks101]

Imagine how much money you could be saving, if you just didn’t buy food

[thoughtkick]

“My life is made up of ‘I’m sorry’. I feel like I have to apologize to people, to things, to life itself. It’s like, ‘I’m sorry to be here’. I don’t want to disturb anyone.”

— Yohji Yamamoto

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

this entire year feeIs Iike a haIIucination

[ttylcore]

i’m filled with this deep and excruciatingly hollow feeling that seems to have an effect on everything in my life. i feel fundamentally broken. i take care of my exterior as much as i can so that people don’t see that. i gained weight, i smiled more, i did my hair and dressed up nice, but if anything i feel worse than ever. i’m ashamed that i’ve gotten to the weight that i am. i hate the way i look in the mirror. i can’t take it anymore.

i have been so unhappy over the past year and it just seems to get worse. the only happiness i get is when i’m with my boyfriend and i’m aiming to stop basing my happiness on him because it’s really fucking killing me when i’m not around him. he’s going back down south for 2 weeks over christmas and new year and i’m so sad about it. i know he’s been really sad about it as well so i don’t tell him i’m sad about it. but i’m just scared. christmas is the worst possible time for me and i’m just exhausted. i douse myself with drowsy antihistamines just to get to sleep so i won’t lay awake thinking about it.

i’m going to try and make plans with people over the holidays so i don’t feel so alone. i get so bad every year and i’m scared.

[ttylcore]

hi, i’m back.

its been a while. since july, a lot has happened. i’ve got a boyfriend now, and he makes me really happy but i’ve gained so much weight which i’m ready to lose. i’ve decided to cut down on drinking, which means i’ll lose weight a lot easier. i just need to get myself in order.

i’m not homeless anymore, i got a house in august that i’ve been living at. my housemates make me feel insane for being mentally ill and gaslight me every day, steal my stuff and it’s just feels never ending. my abuser has moved to a 5 minute walk from my house so i just feel terrified here and out of the house. its been a real challenge.

i’m dreading christmas time, like a lot of us on here. i don’t know what i’m going to do. i think for the next couple of months i’m just going to focus on losing weight again which should keep me occupied. i’m desperate to find a job as well so hopefully something will come up soon enough.

i’m glad to be back on here though, this is the one place that doesn’t make me feel like i’m crazy.

[ttylcore]

everything’s so complicated at the moment. i’m pretty certain i’m in love with **** but i’ve been talking to my ex, sleeping with tons of men that mean nothing to me and talking to people when i’m just completely unavailable. that’s the only way i could describe myself right now. unavailable in every single way imaginable. the sex stops me from hating myself until after the fact.

i can see that ive lost weight. but it’s not enough weight. i want to be so skinny that it scares people. so skinny that i look like i could break. that’s the goal. that’s the aim. i think i’ll be able to do it. its not gonna be that hard considering i’m taking drugs every day.

i hope no one ever has to go through what i’ve been going through for the past couple of months. even this week has been insane. i went to my hometown on friday last week and over the course of that week so many horrible damaging things have happened and i just wish i was stronger and could handle it better.

its so fucking hard. if you’ve not done drugs before, please protect yourself. if you have done drugs before or are currently using, dm me any time you want and i’ll do what i can to help. i don’t want anyone to ever feel the same loneliness ive felt due to my addiction.