TUHF! ENUHF!

[mothercain]

september tends to be so cruel </3

[tuhfenuf]

suddenly i relate to midnights a lot more

and i wondered why it hit so hard for me in the moment

[quezify]

frog4scalpel

[tuhfenuf]

but alas i am just an idiot with a big heart, how do i make money off of that

[tuhfenuf]

i think i would genuinely die for julien baker

[mothercain-deactivated20231124]

how do i break the cycle

prepare yourself for the absolutely insufferable lack of satisfaction found in forgiveness

[tuhfenuf]

she raised me while keeping me at arms length and without realizing it i put a tape measure between myself and everyone i’ve ever met

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

{Words by José Olivarez from Citizen Illegal /@fatimaamerbilal , from even flesh eaters don't want me.}

[tuhfenuf]

the distance between me and my father is equal to the height of the wall he built around his ego to believe he is a good man.

[tuhfenuf]

And I’m crying bout how it’s not fair

You’re shouting about the power you never had but didn’t want to share

And now I’m mourning someone who never died

A life I’ve never even got to try

A pair of parents who are fine

Just fine

With a self orphaned child

[tuhfenuf]

gonna really try the music thing (andddd be more active on tumblr) but a bit metros to post on my main social account so here friends/future friends: my soundcloud on which i’ve posted a couple songs and will post many more. genuinely lmk what you think! i really need to branch out more and make more human connections so message me!

it’s just murph

Listen to it’s just murph | SoundCloud is an audio platform that lets you listen to what you love and share the sounds you create.

[tuhfenuf]

it breaks my heart the kind of hate that Hayden receives but her rant (for lack of a better word) makes me so proud to be trans, and to be a faithful listener of her work, i hope she sees this and knows she’s made a difference in my life at least

[9puppiesdrowninginapool]

Ken was created from Barbie’s rib

[mothercain-deactivated20231124]

famous last words ♡ tomorrow ♡ @silkenweinberg

[tuhfenuf]

oh my god oh my god oh my god OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

[mothercain-deactivated20231124]

[mothercain-deactivated20231124]

i find it funny how the transphobic narrative online is that i’ve someone co-opted “female trauma” growing up in the church and that i’m somehow hijacking misogyny and speaking on something i’ve never experienced. i’ve seen people rip apart my body and appearance and speak on my physical biology as a way to combat my story and how i couldn’t possibly know what i’m talking about, which i find funny because that’s exactly what i suffered through as a child in the church to begin with. being groomed by older men, having my developing body discussed and picked apart at length by all the adults surrounding me, being simultaneously extremely sexualized and extremely shamed for it before i’d even so much as had my first kiss. 

i’m perfectly comfortable with my body now as a trans woman and i feel no need to apologize for my appearance because that’s a ridiculous notion, but it honestly is amusing to watch people attempt to dismantle the things i’ve been through by perpetuating exactly what it is i went through. i pray every day i never have the gall to speak so confidently on something i know nothing about. 

[mothercain-deactivated20231124]

this isn’t to garner sympathy btw, i just feel like the transgender experience is a very hot button issue atm and i don’t really know what the solution is for calming all this fighting down but most of the discussion seems to be build on false narratives and misunderstandings so… i feel like sharing our god’s honest truth and lived experience is the only way to make sense of things. i’d very much like all this fighting to stop because it’s getting exhausting hearing about it and dealing with it. 

[mothercain-deactivated20231124]

what ethel song connects to hayden the most and is not a concept but really intertwined with your own experiences?

definitely sun bleached flies. that’s 100% where we meet in the middle