Did you do something slutty?
People are particularly stupid today. I can’t talk to any more of them.
I already had the longest day of my life and oh look, it’s only 10! How nice!
This is not a herbal tea morning, this is a coffee morning.
This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an I.V.
To me you are the teacher in the Charlie Brown Cartoon.
You are giving me that look, aren’t you? Your patented “Do it or something unspeakable shall befall you” look.
I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.
I never thought a man would ever even want me.
I’m looking up “aneurysm” in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one.
I don’t think you’re taking me seriously.
I just don’t want to do or say anything else that’s gonna be remotely moronic.
I’m afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in Moron.
Are you in any way malnourished, or in need of some international relief organization to recruit a celebrity to raise money on your account?
Not everyone finds the idea of being pelted with frozen water appealing.
This is not a drive-through! She is not fried chicken!
I can’t imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment.
I’m not avoiding anything. I’m going to find coffee.
No, you know what hurts? Having a screwdriver jammed in the side of your head.
You, however never shut-up no matter how hard I throw you against the wall, thus ensuring the wake-up process.
We should commemorate it with an oil painting or a severed head or something.
If you say there’s no reason for the mood, then there’s no reason for the mood. You’re simply nuts.
Yeah, you do know honey that garbage doesn’t actually talk at all unless it’s on Sesame Street.
Did you know that a butt model makes $10,000 a day?
So what time does the judgmental express arrive?
Hey, I have a huge dilemma that I need your opinion on!