I have been homesick for you since we met.
The Avett Brothers, A Fathers First Spring (via kvtes)
we're not kids anymore.
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
cherry valley forever
dirt enthusiast
AnasAbdin

Origami Around

#extradirty
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noise dept.
KIROKAZE
tumblr dot com
Cosmic Funnies

oozey mess
DEAR READER

if i look back, i am lost
Keni

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@tunemuse-blog
I have been homesick for you since we met.
The Avett Brothers, A Fathers First Spring (via kvtes)
Son Volt - Windfall
One summer sometime while I was in high school I got to visit my sister for a week in Denton, TX, where she was attending grad school. She made me a mix tape I loved, but I might’ve lost it since then. I do recall a Son Volt song was on it — maybe this one, maybe not — but it sounded good. Might’ve had some Breeders songs, some other TX college radio songs too.
Early 90s. I vaguely remember that trip. I don’t recall how I got there. But I remember my sister, a mix tape, and Son Volt.
Parker Millsap - Mansion Over the Hilltop
I heard this Oklahoman a lot more this year, maybe even for the first time? He played a few sets for a friend's online interview series and at the Woody Guthrie Free Folk Music Festival in Okemah, OK, this summer. He's only going up from here so keep an eye on this one.
John Fullbright and Amy Speace - "The Sea and the Shore" I am now reminded that this song came to my attention this year. Now, I have been a Fullbright enthusiast for a while, so the pairing of his voice with Amy Speace is a nice introduction to her music. What a lovely song, and I will remember to look further into her music. I will always be one of the first to get his newest album.
The Official Website of JD McPHerson
Ah! So I do recall being introduced to JD McPherson this year! Saw his band perform at the Norman Music Festival and at Tulsa's Guthrie Green for the opening of the Woody Guthrie Center. I did buy his album, listen to it a few times off and on again. Although I liked it, it has yet to become one I want on repeat like I find myself doing with favorites.
Pop songs 2013
I can't even begin to think of any more pop songs that came out in 2013 that I liked, much less remember they came out in 2013 or earlier. I tend to start liking musicians and their albums much later than everyone else, or no one else, so I am hardly a music critic or connoisseur. But I guess that Katy Perry song (which is playing in my head now) and Lorde's "Royals" are my only pop favorites for the year. Especially since I hardly ever listen to the radio (CDs and NPR for me). Where would I even begin looking for a list of 2013 music I normally would like? Mostly folksy, indie, singer-songwriter, Americana.... hmmm.
Lorde - Royals The first time I heard this on the radio it was mid-chorus and I mistook the vocalist for an Oklahoman singer-songwriter I adore. I haven't heard anything else by Lorde yet, though I assume since I like her voice I might like the rest of the album, if for a brief while. Maybe I will listen on Spotify for a while and if I still like I will buy. CDs are for long-time music affairs.
Katy Perry - Roar I rather like this song, although if I heard it too much I would quickly get tired of it. It is encouraging and empowering if heard just when you need a boost of “I can do it” champion cry of “roar oh-oh-oh-oh!”
Beauty
It is frustrating when I look around myself and I'd describe everyone around me as beautiful in their being, but when I look at myself I cannot have that same unconditional appreciation for myself. I look at myself and I see someone who needs to lose weight, who has all these imperfections I know others can see, and yet I look at others and find something glowingly beautiful about them. ALL others are beautiful except for me in my eyes. Where does this come from? Why can't I shake it no matter how many little inspirational quotes or videos I see? Is it because I was harassed in middle and high school by my peers always being called ugly and other mean names? Is it because I've had few long-lasting romantic relationships and thus felt that I was physically undesirable? And my last relationship ended in February 2003. How does one sincerely feel confident about their appearance, without being vain or egotistical, but also without being detrimentally self-deprecating?
I guess once this week is over, I will have more time to go to the gym. That might help. What is frustrating is this shape is not the cause of over-eating. And some of my physical flaws are too expensive to change (no, not plastic surgery; I don't want that and these flaws are not as severe/superficial as that). I know they always say "no one can love you if you don't love yourself" or something like that, but really, I know myself well enough that I simply become a better person when I feel loved. And the love of friends should be sufficient, but... a hug, a kiss, and all the other things can tell me that I am touchable, lovable, desirable, a romantic interest.
Sometime in my early 20s after a male friend gave me a good hug I had the epiphany "I'm not untouchable!" It is a thrilling feeling knowing that someone didn't shy away from hugging me. That I wasn't a despicable person to be in physical contact with. That is a very sad epiphany to have, looking back on it now. Why did I feel so despicably untouchable? Because no one before then had shown me that they were comfortable with my presence.
I suppose I have more to sort out. Instead I think I want to go see a movie. Then tomorrow is a day of packing, packing, packing, and moving. And next week, too. But the week after that, back to the gym, writing, and creating. My book Rise When the Rooster Crows needs to find a publisher. And I will work on the video for Bethany and Alicia.
Until I need to spit out some more ramblings...
Been thinking about a friend... A friend I felt I could be in love with if he had felt the same romantic feelings.... January of 2009 I laid it all out in an email to him. I had last seen him July 2008 but we'd talked on the phone every 2-3 weeks... We'd kept up a good bout of banter. But Tomorrow is his birthday, June 21st, and we've not talked for about a year now. Before that it had been 4 months, and before that a couple if months or so. I want to call, but... I wonder now if I remind him of when he did drink, or if he thinks I'm clinging to something he can't give... Well, ok. I miss him, his voice, his writing, his laugh, his stories, his friendship. And again, I love my friends loyally and lifelong. So, to commemorate my confession of love, here's a peek at what I say on paper when I am spilling out my heart to someone. And his kind response. ------ January 24, 2009 Friend, I was going to write this in facebook but then I thought it silly. I'm 3 glasses in on the best wine I've had in ages. But then again, I might be a lightweight again 'cause I haven't really drank much the 4 months I have been here in Oklahoma. Entirely possible. [rambling about the wine and cider I've been trying in Oklahoma, then a paragraph about figuring out how to write some violent scenes in my poetry book] I'm going to write this, here, and I know we're friends. We'll be lifelong friends. And writing comrades. You know you can always send me your work and I will be as honest and forthright about what I think of it as I can. It takes a bit of time because I have to work through my initial "oh God this is so good" to the "hmm, these lines need something more." But that's only because I love you. And I want the best for you. And that's why when you may find someone to be yourself with, I want to know and be happy for you. How else am I to feel? Truly. I don't know what else to say, 'cause I've said it over a hundred times to myself, to you, but its not about how often or how long. There's no need to respond to this, really. And don't think that just because I am tipsy I've written this. Its part of it, but not all of it. The feeling has been there, a long time, way before I ever said "strong feelings for you." Good God how ridiculous was I to simplify it that April night? Very Thomas Hardy. Have you ever known someone, for a long time, and felt increasingly close to them, and then the point comes when you feel both their friend and the desire to be more? I am first and foremost your friend; come to me with girl troubles and I will advise as best to my modern day knowledge as I can and you will know I would never sabotage or whathaveyou. Writing issues, I can listen and may have ideas. Other life stuff, who knows, maybe I have walked a similar path. When a person loves another they love them because they want them to be happy. That goes for friends and admirers. I'm being random and rambly. Talk about self-induced anxiety. I miss you. And yes, I love you. I always will, no matter what happens in our lives, who or what comes or goes or stays, whatever happens or not. Life is indeed a rollercoaster; the moon and sun the witnesses. And with 1785 miles between us, we are friends as we will always be, phone and email between. I've rambled. I've spoken. I've said my peace/piece. Take it. Keep it. Know it sincere. True. Peace be with you, as always, Friend -------- Hey there miss Friend, [Hello, and comments about trying to call but the phone service ending the call, snow and bad weather...] About your letter. You know I'm not good at being explicit about my feelings or about what particular individuals mean to me. But now that it's been brought up, you should know, and I hope you already sense it, that I definitely do love you as one of my, perhaps, dearest and most valued friends. I do not know if I've met anyone in my life with as pure and a compassionate and warm heart as you. There is no malice or coldness in you. And of course, your perspective and friendship as an artist and writer (for someone who feels isolated in his art) is absolutely priceless to me. And as far as my feelings, I suppose they're my tragic flaw. There is something in my mentality that will not let me be attracted to someone who I know my heart is insync with. My body only lets me be attracted to persons whom my heart knows won't remain in my life--I don't seem to have a problem with being close to people, but I think I am crippled by fear and therefore incapable of being romantically close to someone with whom I know the relationship could work. I don't think I'm strong enough to handle true closeness, I always feel like I'm being scalded and my skin is blistering. But these people, do become my truest friends--there's simply something in me, and it terrifies me to realize this, that will not allow myself to be romantically close to something sincere and long-lasting. Therefore, my Greek tragic flaw. [comments about writing] Yours, Friend
Emmylou and Gram
You are my Gram Parsons as I am your Emmylou. I have thought, written, and mourned you as she has him in her many songs. Though you have not passed from this world you are just as distant from me as if you had.
I realize now this is why I relate so wholeheartedly to her own lyrics and chosen songs.
I have been obsessing over Emmylou Harris lately. My (non)apologies to those who could care less for her musical talents. This song, in particular, fascinates me. I'm living in Oklahoma now where the phrase "red dirt" is thrown around as if it is unique to the Oklahoma and Texas region. I grew up in Mississippi, familiar with Yazoo red clay which also produces a red stain, a red dirt in rural areas. The lyrics mention Meridian which is a city on the eastern edge of Mississippi, along the border where "the stars still fall on Alabama."
These story songs intrigue me, inspire me, relate to those who I have known and remember...
Music video for "The Pattern Has Changed," from the album Kid Face (2013). Video directed and shot by John Hanson.
Yay! New Samantha Crain music video! :)
July 19, 2011
Loving this song. Been playing it a lot lately, from the album. In this live performance, Emmylou's voice sounds a little strained to me.
"It takes more than a hurricane To empty out the Pontchartrain Long ago we broke the chains In New Orleans, New Orleans" .... "Bring it all, fire and flood Fill the rivers up with mud To cut and run ain't in our blood We are New Orleans"
Listened to this one a few times on the way to Tulsa and started moving ideas around in my head for a poem I'd start writing at Guthrie Green. I'm not satisfied with what I wrote, though. Funny how some poems come to me visually, played out in images instead of words. But I was inspired by the lines: "When she kisses the ship on his arm All of his sorrows unravel"
"So goodnight old world See you tomorrow We rise with the sun Fall with the sparrow But here is this child To soften the sorrow Goodnight old world Old world goodnight." - Emmylou Harris
"She's too busy skinnin' both her knees With the arms of a loving childhood wrapped around her"