TurboZha

My name’s Ashley, a 28 year old autistic woman who loves film & animation. Opinions expressed are not those of my employer.

[turbozha]

Saw several kids each going into Minions and Monsters prepped for the movie in their own ways. Some brought in Minion plushies, but a girl made a shirt that she wrote on that said “Minions and Monsters”, wore Minion goggles, and had a squishy banana.

I’m also working today to help out a camp with a private screening of Minions and Monsters. Will let you know how it goes.

[turbozha]

You test my patience, no more pretend

Now your salvation has come to an end

You could have anything if you would just give up and love me

Your stupidity is past infinity 'cause I am running this show

[turbozha]

Now I know what you’re thinking about my Pureverse Goomi rewrite: Will Howard and Phillip show up?

They will, around what I consider the “Season 1 Finale”, if Pureverse were a show.

In the finale, the two sisters who are the main villains, (Apphia, who represents autistic masking and the pressure for me to grow up that is set by my parents, and Mara, representing the negative traits of my OCD as well as my fear of death and wanting villain characters who have died to be redeemed or win instead of die) are planning to combine their powers to make me give up on the Pureverse entirely. Goomi realizes that they’re almost doing what he did when he met Ashley, and realizes he can’t take on the combined threat alone if he wants Ashley to be happy. His wishes to help save his friend opens a portal to the dimension he originally came from, summoning his dimension’s Howard and Phillip, to whom he explains about his new friend who needs their help, so they must fight alongside him! (Squishing and eating the sisters are optional, though.)

Nearing the climax of the actual battle, Howard and Phillip are too weak for the sisters, as they are able to defeat both monsters. Goomi realizes he has no choice but to have Irene attack the sisters, but the sisters remember what he did to Ashley, and believe Goomi’s a valuable asset to their team. He refuses to join the, and Ashley is thrown into a pond near their home with toxic waters that affect one’s mind the longer they’re in it. Goomi has his friends save Ashley, but she is in a state of doubt….

Goomi just realizes Ashley needs a bit of space, so off she is sent to the real world. As she takes time to mentally rest, Goomi eventually feels Ashley holding his main plush body in the real world to help calm her down. He is happy that even if they’re apart, he is helping Ashley.

[turbozha]

Goomi is attempting to take over the world, when Dort threatens him.

Goomi: You actually think you're from space? Oh, all this time, I thought it was an act. Hey, Irene, look! It's a real space citizen!

Dort: You’re mocking me, aren’t you?

Goomi: Oh, no no no no no….DORT, LOOK, AN ALIEN!

Dort: Where?

(Goomi laughs)

[turbozha]

At a party, I learned one of my younger cousins went to see Minions and Monsters and loved Irene. Was reminded of the calzone that resembled her at Universal Orlando.

[turbozha]

Akinator could not guess Goomi!

[turbozha]

Goomi Rewrite for my Pureverse

Putting this under a cut, because it might come close to going into into Minions and Monsters spoilers.

Goomi’s story begins when on one of Ashley (my self insert)’s visits to the Pureverse, a mysterious spellbook appeared at the Pure Mansion. When Ashley picked it up, it flipped instantly to the page to summon Goomi, which worked.

Goomi, at first, was excited to be freed from the spellbook, and wanted to see his friends, Howard and Phillip. Ashley wondered who they were, and Goomi explained that they were his best friends, and they did everything together. The last thing Goomi remembered before being sucked into the spellbook was performing the “undo” spell to save himself from humans who wanted him and his friends dead. Ashley decided that until they could find his friends, Goomi could stay in the Pureverse. So began Goomi and Ashley being “friends”. What Ashley didn’t know was that Goomi was powerful. He could read minds, travel through other’s dreams, communicate via telepathy, use healing powers on himself, create entire realms based on one’s emotions, and had the ability to cast spells.

As soon as Ashley got a big plush body for Goomi to inhabit in the real world, Goomi used his magic to examine Ashley’s mind. What he found shocked him: Ashley was a fun-loving girl who loved Goomi as a friend, but she also had insecurities about herself, as she masked her autistic self not to be seen as weird or immature due to her interests, and how she almost thought her life was not worth living due to her suffering from migraines. Goomi could almost relate to Ashley, because out of the monsters on his home planet, Goomi was the odd one out. Being born to Cthulhu-like creatures, no one was expecting him to stay small forever, which unfortunately was the case thanks to a mutation. He also saw Ashley had a death phobia and was scared of things relating to it. Goomi started to have doubts if he could live up to his self-dubbed “deceiver” status, but decided to use what he learned to his advantage to try to take over the Pureverse.

As the two bonded, Ashley began suffering from Goomi-created nightmares about her insecurities and fears and how they have ruined her life, making them seem worse than they actually are. Ashley told Goomi about her nightmares, and he said that Ashley was being too hard on herself, and he would help her with her problems eventually. What she didn’t know was that Goomi’s idea of helping her was twisted.

One day, as Ashley came back from her shift at work, Goomi tricked her into being trapped in a world he created based on the insecurities Ashley has, which is what he was meant to do to her eventually, believing her mood would be changed for the worst from being reminded of the worst parts of herself. As he closed the portal, something washed over Goomi…guilt. He had his first real friend, not one who wanted world domination like Howard and Phillip. Off went Goomi on a quest to save Ashley.

Ashley was in the worst part of the world that Goomi created when Goomi caught up to her: the Judgement Hall. In this area, Ashley was tormented by what she believed people would think about her unmasked self, as well as thoughts about how she could never be normal again due to her newly discovered migraines. The sentence? Ashley would die. Goomi began destroying the world Ashley was trapped in to save her from mental pain and death.

Goomi told the truth to Ashley about himself. He was a “deceiver”, and was meant to betray her, but he regretted ever using his powers on her. His friends back on the monster planet pressured him to take over the world despite his small size, so Goomi tried doing that in one city on the version of Earth in the universe he came from. The true reason he was sealed away? He cast a forbidden killing spell from the spellbook on humans that only the rulers of his planet were allowed to use after humans caught him trying to summon Irene. Goomi believed he was protecting himself from being found out by using the spell, but because he used a forbidden spell, he was automatically sealed away. Ashley was about to use the book to seal him away…until Goomi spoke up about how he could relate to Ashley.

“I know how you’re nervous about how people might see you. I know you are scared of death and the pain you’re suffering from. I have fears like that too…that people and monsters hate me because I’m tiny. That I can never be good enough unless I take over the world. But being with you…makes me feel happier than taking over the world. I’m sorry….I know you might not want to forgive me…”

Ashley accepted Goomi’s apology, since Goomi rescued her from death and made the right decision. The two hugged, and their friendship took off.

[turbozha]

Was setting up my room after getting new furniture and testing out my antenna I initially got for MeTV Toons, and since the default channel was NBC, I got to see….him!

[turbozha]

July’s purchases? All Goomi. And I plan to get the shoulder pal on the Universal store as soon as they release it!

[turbozha]

Which do you believe?

(Fixed this with a higher quality clip)

[seashellisinmyheart]

Just Goomi.

[turbozha]

Sure, the second half of the movie sucked….

But I’m happy to inform my brain is focusing on Goomi again after two days of calming down from the sucky second half of Minions and Monsters.

[turbozha]

Guess whose mom went to Wendy’s for my grandma and denied me of a kids’ meal, because I already ate?

[turbozha]

So cute, but poorly written…

[turbozha]

As if the Animal Farm marketing couldn’t get any worse, look at this positive review quote that might come from a worried parent.

[turbozha]

Someone has to make a Goomi edit of this part of Vox Populi:

[turbozha]

Cannot believe there were two movies this year where, in my opinion, the first half was good, but the second half was complete garbage.

Minions gets points for having some funny jokes in the second half, unlike Mandalorian, where there was some jokes when Grogu thought Mando was dead.