death isn't heroic apparently

Alpha Bro roleplay blog for Planet 413

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

I've pinged red and orange turntechGodhead, but then I stumble upon your unique brand of TG shtick, which is neither the former nor the fanatic tipsyGnostic, so shit's got me wondering, who's presence I'm honoring?

tipsygnostic

so you know roxy

not exactly gonna spill the deets to a total stranger

is what i would say if i gave any fucks at this point

sides you already know about two of me

so why the fuck not

according to the a couple freaky chicks im the oldest dave strider here

go by david

shits respectable an all

who are you

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

[MASS MEDIA MESSAGE 01]:Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you’d like to hear it I can sing it for you. It’s called Daisy.

.....

what the fuck am i supposed to say to this

an bullshit ai pinging my shit off like the 90s came back to replace cell phones with beepers

are you shitheads even listening

fuck this place

and your stupid ass 80s movie references

fuckin bullshit

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

can you recall how you had died or wound up here? im wondering if death is the opening to this place or a means to an exit of sorts! maybe its just torture

listen ive been through a lot of crazy shit since i got here but im still not up for discussing death n shit

youre another one of those troll kids arent you

listen it dont matter how i died. fact is were not dead now. i was pretty sure i fucking died when i woke up in the middle of fucksville snowzona.

surprise surpise im alive enough for hunger and sleep deprivation and all those other fantastic things to fuck me up the ass with no lube like a cheap porn star

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

Initiate Awakening

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

There wasn’t much for David to say to that either. Most of his focus was lost with the fleeting warmth he had in his body. He just wasn’t meant for this kind of weather. It was still difficult to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t dead at all, being that’s what he last remembered being a definite thing. This was all pretty surreal, the Roxy girl included. “Trolls huh? I’m pretty f-familiar with those assholes.” At least with one of them.

Noticing her shivering, David gave her back a slight reassuring pat and started wandering off. Where to, not much of an idea there, but it was better than standing in the middle of nowhere freezing to death. He tapped at the wrist contraption in another attempt to work it. A faint aqua glow made out letters that he hadn’t seen before under the snow. “The Overseer is watching.” he repeated under his breath. He glanced back at Roxy. “Have you messed with this yet?” He held up his wrist.

[intoxincated]

Gears began to turn in her mind when he said that he was familiar with trolls too. Roxy couldn’t help but wonder how, and she was just about to ask just that, until he brought up the wrist computer. Like dust in the wind, the chance to bring it up flew away and she found herself looking down at her own wrist device. “Not a whole lot,” she admitted, fiddling with the holographic display on hers. The familiar pesterchum interface popped up as usual and she shrugged. “Seems to me like it’s p much a glorified cell phone, except it can’t even make calls. It’s got a chat program on it but other’n that, the map and the message about the Overseer, I haven’t been able to get it to do anything else, which is really sayin’ somethin’, ‘cause I know my way around a computer.” Her brows furrowed with determination as she continued to mess around with the thing, trying to pull up anything BUT the chat client. “I dunno, it’s stubborn as heck,” she finally breathed, exasperated as she closed out the display. “I’m not sure even the legendary Ro-Lal can crack its secrets.”

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

Her response gave him the urge to laugh, at least under his breath, but it was too fucking cold to bother with that, and he wasn't exactly vibing this bullshit circus. David tried to mess with the wrist contraption further. Two small pings went off, and he wondered if it had anything to do with his utter failure to work it or not. "So you're a tech girl. That's pretty useful. Too bad this shit's locked down tight in 40 below weather." The words left his mouth and not even a full minute after the entire world changed. The snow flickered, like a digital glitch, and in an instant his Chuck's were sinking into mud. Even with his usual elegance in movement, David almost slipped. "Whoa what the fuck?"

This was just getting trippier. David's eyes flickered around, trying to follow the changes. The rush of something penetrated his ears, a faint noise in the distance around them. It was too generic a static to determine what it meant, but he knew it didn't mean anything good. The fact it was so loud and he couldn't determine the source meant it was something big. David looked back at Roxy. "We should move. Carefully."

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

Initiate Awakening

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

"D-didn’t scare me little chica." Still shivering, he took her hand without really thinking on it and tried not to pull her down as he went up. He was certainly surprised to see a young girl here of all things to see, wherever the hell he was. Comically the thought that she could be his guardian angel crossed his mind. He didn’t even believe in that stuff. Funny what you’ll think when you’re not sure if you’re dead or not. Gotta look at all the possibilities.

"Whado you mean dropped off? Pretty f-fuckin’ terrible place to be dropped off. Like no shit, it’d be more comfortable to be dropped off at a daycare with a bunch of screaming kids where you don’t even have a kid but you’re there for some reason, god damn where was I going with that. What I’m sayin’ is this is bullshit and I’d like to know why." He shook off some snow, feeling pretty terrible and trying not to let it show.

[intoxincated]

Roxy snorted, the fact that he was just as confused as she had been and still was somehow comforting. “I dunno, some kinda pod came down from whatever’s up there,” she explained, accentuating it with a thumb jutted upwards, “and just kinda… left you here.” She gave a shrug, her eyes turning up away from his face and towards the sky, though only briefly. “But you’re 100% spot-fuckin’-on with sayin’ a day care fulla screaming kids would be better. This place is a doozy.” Shuddering, the beginnings of shivering cold — she didn’t have any idea of how to keep warm, no better than this guy did — she looked back to him. “Far as I can tell, there’s other people here. This wrist thing’s some kinda communicator. Hell if I know half the people on here, but I did recognize some names. Maybe you’ll know someone too,” she offered, in the hopes that it’d help. “But watch out for the trolls, man. They’re pretty messed up. I dunno about the rest of ‘em, but the one I saw was holed up in a cave with some girl’s dead body an’—” She was cut off with a shudder, whether from cold or bad memories. She didn’t finish talking; what had made it out of her mouth was poignant enough to get the point across.

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

There wasn't much for David to say to that either. Most of his focus was lost with the fleeting warmth he had in his body. He just wasn't meant for this kind of weather. It was still difficult to come to terms with the fact that he wasn't dead at all, being that's what he last remembered being a definite thing. This was all pretty surreal, the Roxy girl included. "Trolls huh? I'm pretty f-familiar with those assholes." At least with one of them.

Noticing her shivering, David gave her back a slight reassuring pat and started wandering off. Where to, not much of an idea there, but it was better than standing in the middle of nowhere freezing to death. He tapped at the wrist contraption in another attempt to work it. A faint aqua glow made out letters that he hadn't seen before under the snow. "The Overseer is watching." he repeated under his breath. He glanced back at Roxy. "Have you messed with this yet?" He held up his wrist.

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

4 S3COND D4V3????? 1M NOT SUR3 HOW 1 SHOULD F33L 4BOUT TH1S OTH3R TH4N TH3 F4CT TH3R3S MOR3 D3L1C1OUS R3D 1N TH1S WORLD 4ND 1 TH1NK 1 C4N L1V3 W1TH TH4T >:]

…and who the fuck are you

wait dont tell me

are you that chick i got a restraining order against

or one of the chicks

theres a lot of you kinda hard to keep up

[ropes-of-fate]

WH4T 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT

YOUR S3NS3 OF HUMOR 1S 4S BL4ND T4ST1NG 4S 3V3R

1M NOT FROM YOUR UN1V3RS3 DUMMY

1F 1 W4S WHY WOULD 1 B3 4 CLUCKB34ST 4ND WH4T 1S 4 R3STR41N1NG ORD3R 

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

its kinda interesting how the more you talk to batshit crazier you sound

and my sense of humor is as tasteful as the nudes of me circling the internet

i probably shouldnt spoil you with attention more than i already have but

im gonna ask

what universe would you be from exactly

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

Welcome to hell Elizabeth. Rather colder than we expected, is it not? I guess that just goes to show you what us humans know about other worlds. Funny, you think we'd have figured it out by now, but it seems even years spent fighting alien insurrection does not leave you an expert on other worlds. But, I digress. Tell me, how are you doing thus far?

shit youre telling me lalonde. i still dont even know what this shitty place is but guess im not dead. better start up the kiddie ride cuz i got a one way ticket to slide my ass down the hella track. got me all excited and shit like you dont even know. im doin pretty dope tbh aside from freezing my balls off and knowing fuckall of whats goin on here. and theres this babe here. guess all in all im not really that shitty.

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

4 S3COND D4V3????? 1M NOT SUR3 HOW 1 SHOULD F33L 4BOUT TH1S OTH3R TH4N TH3 F4CT TH3R3S MOR3 D3L1C1OUS R3D 1N TH1S WORLD 4ND 1 TH1NK 1 C4N L1V3 W1TH TH4T >:]

...and who the fuck are you

wait dont tell me

are you that chick i got a restraining order against

or one of the chicks

theres a lot of you kinda hard to keep up

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

Initiate Awakening

David Elizabeth Strider had contemplated what death might feel like quite a few times. When you’re trying to revolt against a powerful alien queen and mocking her every move, death isn’t a far-away possibility. A freezing cold that numbed itself into a more tolerable state was the most common idea he had of it. It seemed the most likely. He wasn’t all too shocked to feel a sting on his skin of ice, because this must be it, this must be what it’s like to be dead. Cold and nothing. Only the chill didn’t fade; he could feel it creeping over him with an intensity that told him he should really wake up now.

Some of it felt wet, but oh so cold, freezing. Oh, wow, okay fuck this, being dead is terrible. Suddenly he jerked awake, shivering uncontrollably. What the fuck- Oh. Snow? Oh man, he hadn’t seen snow in years. Right now he certainly wasn’t appreciating it like he would have in a thick coat rather than his current attire. Speaking of which, his T-shirt was already soaked through pretty thoroughly, and his black jeans weren’t doing much better. Oh God. Some of it was inside of his pants holy shit that’s cold.

Teeth chattering and pale skin flushed from the brisk air, he wobbled to his feet. Far as he could see there was just a vastness of blaring white filtered by his Aviators. It was an unkind weather that fortunately wasn’t blizzard levels of awful. This wasn’t right, he thought. He was supposed to be dead. He’d gotten fucked over by the Batterwitch by his own sword, a fact he probably wasn’t lucky enough to keep to himself. The media must’ve been all over that shit, unless the witch covered it up. So why the hell did he feel so alive? The snow still hurt when it touched his skin that already struggled to maintain any warmth. He couldn’t have been a shitty enough person during his life to be in Hell, but at the same time he didn’t doubt it. Mainly he doubted that he was dead at all.

“W-w-what the fffuck?” he stuttered under his breath, seeing it fog in the air. That’s when he noticed something on his wrist. He didn’t wear a watch. David stared at the small contraption, more confused than he could ever remember being. It looked like some sort of voice operated device like in the spy movies. He tapped on it carefully and tried to find a way to open it. Fuck, no, his fingers were too cold and kept slipping. “Fuck, what the fuck is this thing? And where the fuck am I?” he hissed.

[intoxincated]

"Who knows?" came a voice from out of left field, or close to it. In reality, it had come from behind him. Roxy’s footsteps were quiet as she approached, squatting next to the man whose name she didn’t know but whose face seemed oh so familiar. She could swear she’d seen him before in some picture in some magazine or maybe online? The Lalonde couldn’t recall, but she most definitely hadn’t met him in real life. She’d remember that. Still, she hoped her foggy memory didn’t land her in a bad place. With any luck, she’d recall where she’d seen him before in time to save face should things get a little awko taco. Finally, her gaze hovered over to him and she offered a small smile. “Roxy,” she offered, holding out her hand. “Sorry if I scared you, but I saw you bein’ dropped off and I couldn’t resist comin’ over to see what’s what. ‘Sides, it never hurts to have a friend in a place like this.” Her smile widened slightly, but her own confusion was apparent behind her cheery demeanor. “I just got here too, not that long ago, and lemme tell you, it’s not exactly pretty out here. Snow everywhere, crazed schizo-trolls… The works.” She sighed slightly at that and her smile faltered, though she still radiated friendliness above all else. 

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

"D-didn't scare me little chica." Still shivering, he took her hand without really thinking on it and tried not to pull her down as he went up. He was certainly surprised to see a young girl here of all things to see, wherever the hell he was. Comically the thought that she could be his guardian angel crossed his mind. He didn't even believe in that stuff. Funny what you'll think when you're not sure if you're dead or not. Gotta look at all the possibilities.

"Whado you mean dropped off? Pretty f-fuckin' terrible place to be dropped off. Like no shit, it'd be more comfortable to be dropped off at a daycare with a bunch of screaming kids where you don't even have a kid but you're there for some reason, god damn where was I going with that. What I'm sayin' is this is bullshit and I'd like to know why." He shook off some snow, feeling pretty terrible and trying not to let it show.

[turntechyourassiswrecked]

Initiate Awakening

David Elizabeth Strider had contemplated what death might feel like quite a few times. When you’re trying to revolt against a powerful alien queen and mocking her every move, death isn’t a far-away possibility. A freezing cold that numbed itself into a more tolerable state was the most common idea he had of it. It seemed the most likely. He wasn’t all too shocked to feel a sting on his skin of ice, because this must be it, this must be what it’s like to be dead. Cold and nothing. Only the chill didn’t fade; he could feel it creeping over him with an intensity that told him he should really wake up now.

Some of it felt wet, but oh so cold, freezing. Oh, wow, okay fuck this, being dead is terrible. Suddenly he jerked awake, shivering uncontrollably. What the fuck- Oh. Snow? Oh man, he hadn’t seen snow in years. Right now he certainly wasn’t appreciating it like he would have in a thick coat rather than his current attire. Speaking of which, his T-shirt was already soaked through pretty thoroughly, and his black jeans weren’t doing much better. Oh God. Some of it was inside of his pants holy shit that’s cold.

Teeth chattering and pale skin flushed from the brisk air, he wobbled to his feet. Far as he could see there was just a vastness of blaring white filtered by his Aviators. It was an unkind weather that fortunately wasn’t blizzard levels of awful. This wasn’t right, he thought. He was supposed to be dead. He’d gotten fucked over by the Batterwitch by his own sword, a fact he probably wasn’t lucky enough to keep to himself. The media must’ve been all over that shit, unless the witch covered it up. So why the hell did he feel so alive? The snow still hurt when it touched his skin that already struggled to maintain any warmth. He couldn’t have been a shitty enough person during his life to be in Hell, but at the same time he didn’t doubt it. Mainly he doubted that he was dead at all.

“W-w-what the fffuck?” he stuttered under his breath, seeing it fog in the air. That’s when he noticed something on his wrist. He didn’t wear a watch. David stared at the small contraption, more confused than he could ever remember being. It looked like some sort of voice operated device like in the spy movies. He tapped on it carefully and tried to find a way to open it. Fuck, no, his fingers were too cold and kept slipping. “Fuck, what the fuck is this thing? And where the fuck am I?” he hissed.