aini

personal blog / virtual diary

[driflloon]

navia nguyen

[tweehearted]

I really love her vibe

[driflloon]

navia nguyen for vogue us nov. 1994

[driflloon]

navia nguyen for vogue us nov. 1994

[tweehearted]

I think my issue is that I’m trying to find female sensitivity in men and that is just a thing that doesn’t exist. I don’t think a man could understand something like that, and if I’m able to observe somebody who emulates those inherently female characteristics it’s more of a twisted form of it. It’s cruel almost. Maybe this is the lesson that I was supposed to learn. I was supposed to learn that I have to bide my time without any compromise.

[tweehearted]

Sometime in the tail end of January, sitting in a cafe on my own, during a weird middle space. I had finished up my day at uni, cut short because I had to attend a prior commitment which I naturally should have been thrilled about. I couldn’t enjoy it. After I finished my food I sat with a pit in my stomach that only grew.

I’m honestly still appalled. I sat with that anxiety for weeks and weeks and I felt my purpose in life slip away from me because I could only fixate on a singular person’s opinion of me. What a horrible existence.

[tweehearted]

Nothing good ever comes out of my want

[kficc]

available on patreon later tonite :)

[tweehearted]

They don’t know that when I stare at that picture I have tears running down my face and I am thinking about how cruel nature can be. And there’s nobody to point fingers at

[tweehearted]

Every man that I will meet in my life will be so delightfully dull at his core because my soul is only aligned with female companionship. I will always know where to find emotional fulfilment but I will never be sexually satisfied. I will have to live with this dissonance for as long as it matters to me, because this is my punishment for my greed and impatience.

[tweehearted]

This is the worst jet-lagged I’ve ever been

I’m still not accustomed to this place and it doesn’t help that I haven’t gone out into the sun for what feels like days. I’m always waking up at ungodly hours in the morning and I can’t come back down until the late morning and then I sleep all day. Rinse and repeat. Wake up at 3am, sleep at 11am, wake up at 4pm, sleep at 11pm then wake up at 3am.

Waiting out this bum life until the weekend where I can actually do something

At least the food is good

[littlemissegg800]

when can we separate erotic from deviancy !!!!!

[tweehearted]

i am at odds with my peers because i view them as infantile people who pretend to do adult things. whereas i am adult in nature, but i am solely confined to childish activities. i have had the mindset of a nihilist since the age of 12. ohhh you all irritate me

[tweehearted]

The ability to see yourself in another person, regardless of shared lived experience, is the highest form of connection between yourself and another. Everybody I’ve ever held close to my heart is a portrait of myself, a reflection of how I shaped them, and how they changed me. A connection like this has always felt like lightning in a bottle, I used to tear myself apart whenever I’d be left alone again, but I’ve learnt that these things are so unexpectedly fleeting. I’ve learnt to appreciate everything I have, while I still have it in the palm of my hand. One day it will slip through my fingers, when I least expect it.

[obsessedbyneon]

Sanyo ad for portable audio systems, 1984. Scanned from DOMUS, edited to one poster format.

[tweehearted]

this time i will be smarter, thank you for my pain

[tweehearted]

The concept of going clubbing sounds so ridiculously boring and uncomfortable to me. First you’re with company that you don’t even like, while they’re playing music that you don’t even listen to, in an outfit made of 300% polyester and you’re just there to get molested by any man in your vicinity. You drive a hard bargain but unfortunately I’d have to pass

[parakindo707]