tweenagedream @tweenagedreamthings - Tumblr Blog

Wrapping up-

I feel a little nostalgic and a bit sad to be wrapping up this project today!!! Much like everyone else (I imagine!!) I feel unsure about whether I have done enough, and I feel reflective, as Adolescence is something we have all experienced subjectively and this course has allowed me to consider aspects of my own life as we have progressed through.

This was an innovative and interesting way to research and learn about a topic. I have not completed an assignment like this before and having the chance to consider articles, videos and pictures that were not necessarily always 'scientific' or 'peer reviewed' has allowed me to view this topic through the lens of common human experience. The flip side of that is that I often felt uncertain about the content and appropriateness of my posts, and as the task was 10 weeks long, I felt that there were times when it was going better than others and the lack of feedback on progress did concern me. I always wondered if I was heading in the right direction; I suppose I will soon find out!!!

I feel sad because I realized as I was going through counting up all my posts (haha!!!) that I focused hugely on what could be considered the 'pathology' of adolescence- so many negatives!! While I can honestly say I recall some tough and scary times in my youth, I also believe it has shaped me into the person I am today and so many parts of it were equally as beautiful as they were frightening; as amazing and exciting as they were daunting.

This is the most recent photo I could find of myself, which I think outlines who I am pretty well- a bit goofy, a bit weird, a bit too chatty, very easily excited over Japanese mayonnaise; but also fun, kind, loving and thoughtful. I owe this marvelous personality, in most part, to my friends, family, workmates and partners across the lifespan. But also, to my adolescence. To my time in high school, in teams, learning, growing, feeling shamed as about my clothing/hair choices, making and losing friends, falling in love, and being a teen.

Hope we have all learnt things from this that we can apply to our future careers, and to our relationships with teens/friends/kids etc.

Bye everyone!!!!

Budding photographer Lewis Thelwall, of Port Talbot, South Wales, committed suicide after false rumours about him were posted online, an inquest into his death heard.

Sadly, These cases are all too common. You only have to search "Cyber Bullying" to learn about the negative effects peer relationships can have on teens.

Santrock (2012) discusses the positive and negative effects of teen relationships and friendships. When they are positive, teen relationships can provide a sense of belonging, learning and understanding, respect for others and development of identity.

When negative, however, teens may feel isolated and depressed, over looked by peers and bullied. It is sad to think, as in cases like this young man, that all of this may be going on in a world that is foreign to many parents- the online world.

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"The number of children dropping out of school before the age of 16 is at an all-time low - despite an international report warning that New Zealand’s overall school dropout rate remains among the highest in the developed world" (Duff, 2013). There are many reasons why teenagers would want to leave school, some of them prefer being hands on and would like do be an apprentice, or personal, economic and family problems. Nevertheless, providing support can help teenagers het a better education, for instance counselling, tutoring, or mentoring.

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I find this article interesting, as I left school at age 15 after my NCEA level 1 exams. I felt I could achieve more in a hands on setting, and I struggled at school. My parents had separated when I was 12 and I do not know if this was related to my struggle at school, but my Mum seems to think it was. I enrolled into chef training at UCOL and was a fully qualified chef at age 16. I went on to have a successful (although at times challenging!!) 10 year career as a baker and pastry chef, before deciding I wanted to teach and enrolling at Massey.

I feel embarrassed sometimes to tell people I left school so soon, however I feel like my life and work experience has given me the tools I needed to tackle university and perhaps I would not have been so successful at Uni if I had gone straight after school.

Hindsight is a powerful thing- I will encourage my kids to stay at school if I can, but I also acknowledge that traditional education is not for everyone. My younger sister took similar steps to myself, and was also a successful baker for many years before enrolling last year into a Nursing Degree. She is top of her class (92% average) and will be a brilliant nurse.

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Remember when phones were for calling? Share on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1oHciuw Like BuzzFeedVideo on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/18yCF0b Share on Twitter: h…

This clip has a bit of a laugh reviewing the differences between dating 20 years ago and now. While it is intended as light-hearted, I think there are some sad truths to this generation gap in dating experiences. What kind of ‘dating’ experiences will this generation of youth have? I didn’t go on my first official date until I was 25. Prior to that, relationships had started (and sometimes ended!!) over text or Facebook. Is it abnormal to expect someone to ask you out to your face? To date and talk rather than Pxt and read profiles?

tweenagedreamthings

I am re-blogging this from myself (not totally sure if that is appropriate!) because I believe it was relevant in the Sexuality section of this course as well as in the Dating/Peer relationships section. I feel the dynamics of teen relationships have completely changed in a short space of time, and it is funny but also a little sad to reflect on the lost art of 'courtship' and to wonder what types of dating experiences modern day teens will have.

If We Lived In A World Where Women Catcalled Men...

This video is not scientific at all, but a funny look at the perceived differences between men and women and the traits they may look for in relationships.

Santrock (2012) outlines that teen relationships fulfill many roles or functions, including recreation, achievement, socialization, learning, intimacy, sexual experimentation and identity formation.

Boys are likely to engage in sexual activity between the ages of 13-15, where as girls have a broader age range of 14-18.

This video is meant as a representation of the qualities that girls look for in boys- commitment, strength, power and ability to provide. The implication is that men are 'catcalling' about physical characteristics only, whereas the women are making inferences to stable personality traits. Is this true, or an example of Gender stereotyping as discussed a few weeks back?

Pride and privilege mingle with guilt for Pakeha teens in a study that shines a light on ethnic attitudes.

This article is the summary of NZ research into teens feelings on discrimination. An important aspect of peer relations to consider is the context of culture and ethnicity. Although we like to think of ourselves in NZ as being multi-cultural, this research highlights the differing forms of discrimination that kiwi youth feel.

Santrock (2012) outlines the desire for youth of minority groups to socialize with members of the same ethnic group. This provides a sense of belonging and companionship with individuals who understand their history and culture. But at what point does this natural desire to gravitate towards 'people like you' become concerning?

This song encapsulates popularity and peer relationships to me. It covers a majority of the characteristics expressed on our stream site about the qualities of the Popular children "are reinforcing, good listeners, enthusiastic, concerned, and confident".

Fitting in or feeling wanted is a huge part of growing up and being popular is effected by a range of factors. It is surprising to me personally how much of an impact my years at high school had on how I converse with my peers now.

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How young is too young? Dr. Phil says that teenagers, especially younger pre-teens, don’t need to have boyfriends and girlfriends. Still, he knows that young relationships do form. Here is his advice for parents:

Teenagers shouldn’t have serious dating relationships. No 14-year-old needs to...

tweenagedreamthings

This is a good set of "rules" to go by when teens begin to date. The arguments are sound and grounded in logic and explanation- reflective of authoritative parenting styles.

Siblings-

Here are a few photos of myself and my siblings. My sister is my 'full' sister and my little brother is our step sibling. When we were younger I made the conscious effort to refer to him as our brother rather than step-brother as I felt he deserved the recognition and I didn't want to define or separate him from the family by using a tittle.

My sister and I fought as children; we had the boundary tape in the bedroom, and the screaming matches and all the norms. As I grew older the fighting ceased and was replaced with fights between the younger siblings.

Santrock (2012) suggests that birth order could play a role in sibling relationships, with older siblings taking on more dominating roles and feeling resentful about parental favoring of younger siblings.

I can't recall many specific details before about age 8, and my Mum left when I was 12, so it became just Dad and the girls. He had to work a lot, and often long hours as a fireman. I know I took on some more of the household responsibilities and caring for my younger sister- hard to say whether this is characteristic of older sibling personalities or whether it was just my reaction to a difficult situation.

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I have a great relationship with grandparents on both sides of my family, and this was really beneficial in my adolescent years. I could call them anytime to discuss anything I had on my mind, and they gave me a lot of advice and help when I needed it, especially around university and career...

tweenagedreamthings

I absolutely agree with this.

I have had a solid relationship with my grandparents on my Mums side for my whole life. They have lived close ( my Dad's parents live in England) and were a huge source of support and wisdom. I felt like I could discuss things with them that may have resulted in a fight with my parents, but they were more open and accepting, and encouraged me to look at all options or paths and talk them through.

I feel like sometimes parents are reactive in the moment when the question/issue is combined with other things that have happened that day or in history plus things in their own lives at work or home.

As a child my Grandparents seemed very strict and the rules at their house were as such, but I feel that as an adult I was able to view where they were coming from and learn a great deal from the amazing history of their lives. As young people we often forget how much they have seen and all the world changes they have witnessed or been part of.

Another amazing lesson I feel I learnt from their life was what real love is; that it's not always roses and glitter- sometimes it is a challenge and an adaptation. My Nana became a Jehovahs Witness some years into my grandparents marriage, and with that came several changes in the family dynamic- birthdays etc were no longer celebrated, and the children were raised in the church. In a modern family a change like this would probably result in divorce. However, my grandparents were in love and happily married for nearly 70 years, and to me, this just goes to show that real love is possible and commitment can withstand changes and support individual growth.

It has been mentioned in previous posts that sometimes the decision on "when to call it quits" is a bit premature in modern relationships. I feel like lessons can be learnt in communication and understanding from our elders- if we are interested in listening.

My Grandad passed away last year in September. The date passing this year has been beyond tough for me, and I now realize what a tremendous influence that incredible man was. I only wish I had been more patient as he aged, and listened to all his repetitive stories more often.

We live in a society where almost every level of morality is tolerated. Teens face pressure from many directions to experiment sexually, try drugs and alcohol, lie and cheat to

An interesting article aiming to help parents instill morals in their teens in this modern age.

When considering the models of teen moral development I think it is important to consider the context and era they were developed in, and the differences today's world presents.

When my grandparents were raising children they didn't need to be concerned that the opinions and ideas of all the strangers of the world were available at the click of a button. This progression of inter-continent communication has advanced faster than many of us realize, and that development needs to be accompanied by an advance in our understanding of the unique challenges they face and the era in which they exist.

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tweenagedreamthings

This table very succinctly addresses the stages of Moral development outlined in our text books.

I often wonder how, if at all, the "Conventional Mortality" stages- the respect for law, others and society- is affected by social media? If young people are learning more or less about the differing opinions and interests of others in light of open forums for basically any topic? Does it teach tolerance, or criticism?

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Alice in wonderland quote - favourite kids movie. It shows the identity confusion known to many adolescents.

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I often wonder about the origins of these weird and wonderful stories, and if they reflect current interests or worries of the time. Sometimes expression through music, poetry or writing allows people to conceptualize what they cannot straighten out in their head.

We may never know what was meant by this segment, but it is interesting to imagine!!!

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I was looking for something interesting to post about Sexuality and Adolescents and came across this interview in Grapevine on line. It covers almost all the topics of this paper, including sexuality in adolescents, and makes for a good read. Nigel Latta at his best. Informative and fun. I admire the ability to put complicated human factors into plain common-sense!

tweenagedreamthings

Great article, covering the 'groundwork' of parenting that has been discussed on other posts- about opening the lines of communication and setting up that discourse from day one. Very interesting!!!!

This video is pretty sad and tragically true- a reminder for us all that Morality begins in childhood and the role that parents play.

In the video, the violent or aggressive behavior is mimicked by the children, and in the end, so is the positive, kind, thoughtful and helpful behavior.

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Santrock (2014) observes that:

Both Piaget and Kohlberg held that parents do not provide any unique or essential inputs to children’s development. They do believe parents are responsible for providing general role-taking opportunities and cognitive conflict, but they attribute the primary role in moral development to peers. (p. 224)

I understand that the above quotation is referring to Adolescent Moral Development and yes peers are the most influential at this period of the lifespan, however we cannot ignore the foundation work previously undertaken by the parents which “give rise to moral functioning” (Berkowitz & Grych, 1998) – Parents provide the opportunities and foundation for basing morals upon therefore parents’ decisions weigh heavily on the process and outcome of an adolescent’s moral development.

Here’s a link to an article that evaluates how parenting influences their child’s moral development and also gives pointers for parents on how to encourage positive moral development in their child.

An interesting excerpt from this article:

Block (1971) reported that adolescents low in self-control come from homes in which there was a high level of conflict, especially about child-rearing values, parents neglected to teach their children, and parents demanded very little of their children both in terms of household chores and school work.

Although the article focuses on the influence of parents on moral development in early and middle childhood, it helps us to understand an individual’s foundation of moral development which is already installed by the time they enter adolescence.

tweenagedreamthings

I absolutely agree with the crux of this article. I know my moral development started early on in childhood, in simple day-to-day events that my parents probably didn't specifically see as teaching me. Many instances and phrases spring to mind, a few are listed below-

* "Don't hit your sister, we don't hit, how would you like it if roles were reversed?" This was also extended to the dog, cat or any other living creature that was around us. Asking the child to consider how they would feel in the same position teaches empathy rather than sympathy.

* "Don't lie- again, how would you feel? How will I trust you?"- The boy who cried wolf was a key story point anytime lies came up in our household; Teaching children the value of trust and them being trusted. This was a key foundation for adolescence, as discussions about boys/sex/friends/drinking etc were open and honest and trusting foundations were already established. As has been proven with my little brother, without those open lines of discourse, teenage years can be challenging.

While I may have gone off track here a little, I was attempting to highlight that the role model your parents are when you are young- by a combination of what they say and how they act, will lead to the moral backbone of an adolescent. While friends or peers my try to influence or pressure teens, the moral foundations are already there.

by Mia McKenzie Actor Emma Watson, of Harry Potter movie fame, is a new Goodwill Ambassador for UN Women and she spoke at the UN on Saturday to launch the HeForShe campaign, which aims to mobilize men to end gender inequality somehow (the campaign doesn’t seem to call men to any particular action of any sort). The campaign wants men to make gender equality their issue, too, and Ms. Watson extended “a formal invitation” to men to do so. Some of the mainstream (white) feminist interwebs are all abuzz because, according to said mainstream (white) feminist interwebs, it was all kinds of...

I was surprised, when searching for the video of Emma Watson's UN speech, to come across several 'opposition' articles. Here is a link to one of them, where the writer indicates that involving Men in the movement was infact the opposite of helpful and that the speech should not be celebrated as a milestone of modern feminism as it is more like a "baby step".

Not sure I agree with some of the more complex parts of the argument, as I feel like some extreme over analyzing may be happening, and I don't fully understand the value of it.

Again interested to hear some other opinions :)

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