If Shipping Be The Food of Fandom, Ship On

A Twelfth Night fandom blog, for all your shipping needs!! ((Not a real blog, this is my social media project for a class on Twelfth Night, but please enjoy it anyway. Please note that double parentheses like these denote OOC or "out of character" speaking))

[twelfthship]

antonio/sebastian, whatever

Oooh I had a really good idea for this.

What if Antonio was secretly Olivia's brother who faked his own death because he's an Illyrian secret agent on a mission to take down the corrupt Count Orsino? Then when he rescues Sebastian and they totally hit it off in a kissing way and Antonio tells him everything, and Sebastian's "whelp my sister is dead and she was all that I lived for so sign me up for this secret agent biz yo" because he can totally get behind dishing out some sweet justice on this Count dude if he can do with his ~beloved Antonio~. So on the way to Orsino's city Antonio gives Sebastian the super special crash version of Secret Agent Biz 101 so he can be a super cool butt-kicking special agent and help take down Orsino. Then once they get to the city and split up for recon and junk, when Antonio comes across Viola as Cesario he doesn't freak at not being recognized because hey maybe Sebastian is pretending to be somebody else for some reason, only Sebastian isn't giving him their super secret agent hand sign that it's really him so Antonio is deeply suspicious and sticks around Olivia's place to see what the haps are. Then Sebastian comes by and Antonio is all "hey dude what was up with earlier??" then things get explained and Sebastian is all "le gasps a feminine gentleman who looks just like me? what if it is my beloved dead sister?? we gotta go check this out." So they do and realize that Viola is pretending to be a dude in the service of the dude they're trying to take down and are all "whaaaaat??" so Antonio gets Viola alone somehow and tells her that her bro is alive and she needs to go see him, so then she does and they explain everything to her. Viola is like totally over-joyed to see her bestest brother 5ever again but is hesitant at Orsino's guilt since she wants to smooch that and he's been p nice to her? But Sebastian is all "sis you gotta trust me Tony wouldn't lie or nothing we're legit and Orsino ain't ya'hear?" Eventually they get her to agree to not give them away and let them arrest Orsino, since if he's innocent it'll be okay. Then some plot twist stuff happens and some action I guess and more Santonio romance parts and blah blah blah it all ends with Orsino taken to justice and Antonio, Sebastian, and Viola as a kick-butt secret agent team (because Viola was actually doing p okay in her Cesario disguise). The end.

[twelfthship]

OsrinoxCesario where all of them are pirates

Yeah okay I can see where that's coming from.

It would be a really cool re-imagining, but I think that a pirate AU fic would run into the same problems as masquerade where everything is mostly the same except for the setting and some superficial details. Just put everyone on ships and make Toby 50% drunker and you are good to go. 

[twelfthship]

can we have some cesario/olivia where cesario is actually viola's sudden evil twin

Okay so this is how I could see something like this go down:

When Viola is chilling on the beach after being pulled from the shipwreck, she's all talking with the captain dude about making with the man disguise right? Well what if the captain was secretly a wizard. A wizard who, out of the kindness of his sparkly magic wizard heart, offers to turn Viola into a dude and she's all "awww yiss that'd be slammin' work your magicks on me wiz-man" and then the wizard-captain did. Only the dude took a bunch more levels in captain than he did in wizard so he's not actually all that slammin' with the whole magic business, so stuff goes wrong and instead of turning our girl V-dogg into our dude C-dogg he makes an (deep breath here) eeeeevil doppleganger (dramatic gasp here) who is Viola's weird opposite-gender clone-twin who is Cesario and also evil as all get. So Cesario is all 'yo sup fools I'm off to do your plan only evilly because I am evil and stuff??" and takes off. So then Viola and the kindly captain-wizard have to try and stop him from behind the scenes as Cesario totally woos and eventually hooks up with Olivia using his boyishly good looks and eeeeevil charm. Eventually then when our favorite bro-duo Tony & Sebs show up on the scene they find and team up with Viola and the wiztain (I got tired of typing captain-wizard all the time) to defeat Cesario with the power of sibling-ry and love and friendship and all that junk. Olivia stops them though because she's all up and into that evil clone-twin thank you very much. The fic ends with the wiztain trying his magic thing again and this time making Cesario not-evil so everyone can just chill and be cool with each other (specifically Viola and the wiztain are total bros who go on bro-adventures).  

[twelfthship]

Orsino/Cesario or Orsino/Olivia, any trope.

Mmm then, let’s have Orsino/Cesario where Orsino is a dragon instead of a man.

So Orsino is a dragon who is like the Count of a town or something (because apparently in this universe dragons can have land and titles, makes sense) and wants Olivia to be his human mistress because she is ridic beautiful and as a dragon he is all about collecting the pretty stuff (which explains his infatuation and why his feelings for Olivia don’t seem like love; it isn’t, it’s just dragonic lust for treasure that is in this case a person). But then Viola comes on the scene as Cesario and is hired to woo the human lady because dragons don’t know how to pick up human chicks, and Orsino gets all these hoard-y treasure feels about Cesario because Cesario is also pretty. Eventually Orsino decides that Cesario is a better and easier treasure to have and, upon finding out that Cesario is actually Viola, pays a witch to turn Viola into Cesario permanently. Meanwhile Cesario/Viola has been falling in love with his/her dragonic employer and is very confused about this because interspecies relationships are complicated and ain’t nobody got time to understand that. Upon being permanently turned into her male alter ego, Viola finds herself being surprising chill with it (Orsino treats his treasure really nicely and she’s still weirdly in love with him) so she becomes Cesario and lives happily ever after as a dude who is the beloved treasure of a dragon. Idek if they kiss though, because dragons and fire-breathing and stuff. The end.

[twelfthship]

orsino/viola with a masquerade

like with masks and stuff? mmm okay then,

I’d have just a compressed version of the story told in setting of a masked ball, instead of a shipwreck there’s like a storm or something that Sebastian disappears into, Viola just changes into fancy formal dude clothes. Like it’s hard to elaborate because nothing much would change; 12th Night is actually really well suited to a masquerade type of story you just gotta compress the time and location to fit a single ballroom place in one night. And also put everyone in fancy ball clothes I guess.

[twelfthship]

OliviaxViola & magic plz!!

Oooooh cool! Let’s have a witches AU then.

So like Olivia is actually a witch who killed her brother in order to harvest the power that comes from killing a blood relative and then grieves for him to harvest her own sadness at his death and also provide an excuse to become more secretive in order to cover up the murder and her witchcraft. Viola is also a witch, but a less powerful one, one who accidentally causes the shipwreck through some sort of magical mishap or the like. Fearing for her life both because she is a lone woman and a witch, she hears of Olivia and somehow realizing that the lady is a witch (maybe she recognizes her from some witchy gathering idek), decides that since her brother is dead and she has no one to live for she may as well try to get herself apprenticed to this clearly powerful witch lady. Only Viola figures that it would be rude to show up empty handed, so she hatches a plot to use Orsino and his love for Olivia in order to harvest a buttload of power from him to present to Olivia as a gift for taking Viola on as an apprentice (and also as proof that she’s crafty and smart enough to be a useful apprentice). So she uses magic to transform herself into a dude temporarily (but because she isn’t that powerful the transformation isn’t complete and thus Cesario looks feminine) in order to serve under Orsino, gain his trust, and manipulate his quest for Olivia. Olivia is just as uninterested in Orsino as she is in canon, and gets especially annoyed because she thinks that his attentions might reveal her as a witch. Thus both of the witches are scheming to have Orsino rejected (Olivia so that he’ll leave her alone, Viola so that she can harvest his sadness and broken heart to give to Olivia) separately. Meanwhile Feste and Maria are also magic, Feste is some sort of witchdoctor and Maria is a hedge witch, and are tormenting Malvolio in order to harvest his emotions as well and use Sir Toby and Andrew for this end. The fic ends with Feste and Maria ritually sacrificing Malvolio, Viola draining all of Orsino’s lifeforce from him (which kills him) before revealing herself to Olivia and offering the power she harvested from Orsino as well as her services as a loyal apprentice. Olivia is happy to have all of her problems solved and delightfully accepts. Sometime after this Sebastian and Antonio show up and through Viola are recruited to work for Olivia as well (and are spared because they are awesome and I don’t want them to get harvested). Also sometime after this Olivia and Viola get totally into each other and kiss a lot (a good deal of their interaction in the fic should be major ship-teasing for this). The end.

[twelfthship]

More SebAnt :D :D

See I’ll use this one to model it.

Okay so I liked the steampunk idea, what if that was setting? A steampunk remake AU.

Have Count Orsino’s city be made of a bunch of giant floating platforms up in the sky with everyone getting around by airship and stuff. Turn the shipwreck into an airship wreck! Have Antonio be a dashing air-pirate on the run from the law who rescues a strangely-attractive young mechanic from the debris of a crashed airship and then goes on wild adventures with him in order to reclaim his lost honor and also escape the Count’s forces. Viola would want to serve on Olivia’s airship (all of the houses and stuff are replaced with airships too because airships are cool) but instead decides to disguise herself as a dude and a mechanic to get into the service of Orsino. So then Orsino sends “Cesario” on the premise of fixing up Olivia’s airship in order to woo her for him, but of course she falls in love with the mechanic. It would probably culminate in Malvolio being a proper villian and hatching some sort of evil plot after being tormented by Sir Toby, Maria, Feste, and the gang. Then of course “Cesario” and Olivia have to try and foil Malvolio’s dastardly plots (and also kiss some I guess?) with the eventual help of Sebastian and Antonio who coincidentally run into the duo. The fic ends with all four of them ditching to go have more wild steampunk adventures out in the wide world somewhere, the end.

[twelfthship]

Okay guys here's a fun idea! Doing drabbles gets a little tiring after a while,  so now instead give me a ship and/or a favorite trope/fic cliche (e.g. high school AU, mind-swap, steampunk setting, etc) and I'll lay out a brief outline of how I would write a longer fic from that.

Yeah guys this is gonna be so great you don't even know hahaha

[twelfthship]

Feria (Feste x Maria) or Malvia (Malvolio x Maria) oooh ooh how about Malivia (Malvolio x Olivia)

You know what let’s get some Malivia all up in this biz, why not.

A while after Maria and the rest of those silly-billies (she spared one precious moment to sigh sadly over her kinsmen’s and his friend’s comical antics, but no more) had left with poor sweet precious Malvolio in tow, Olivia was starting to get worried. What if Malvolio was so out of sorts that he fell out of a window? What if he stubbed his toe on the door? What if he knocked over some of the china in the dining room while trying to climb the cabinet? What if he had been turned into a cat??

Obviously she needed to go check up on him herself.

After a few minutes or so of searching (it would have been shorter but she’d gotten distracted by a sudden bout of sadness over her dead brother and had had to briefly retreat to her room to compose herself. At least she was down to only really crying twice every day though, that was progress) Olivia found the room where poor Malvolio was being kept. And darn was it dark, she was really starting to get worried about the state of her servant’s toes.

“Meow? Meow!” Looking down, Olivia saw a cat primly sat in the back of the room. “Yo sup kitty, have you seen Malvolio? I could have sworn I had Maria put him somewhere around here.” She asked, picking up the feline to peer curiously at it. Did they even have a cat?

“Meow meow mew mew meoooow.” said the cat, who was actually Malvolio. He was carefully not thinking about how he became a cat though, suffice it to say that one does not cross Maria without dire consequences. Or the fool, for that matter. But now he was a cat, and Olivia was picking him up! Her face was so close to his, and she had said she was totally into him, so what if he just leaned over and-

“Ugh gross cat germs, cat where has your mouth even been. Then again you are a cat, you probably don’t get human germs?? Sickness how do it even do man, I mean cat. Anyway you’re pretty cute, I mean look at those cute little yellow stockings on your feet! Ohh your name is Stockings now, oh totes it’s perfect. But yeah come with me kitty, we still gotta find poor dear sweet precious Malvolio.”

And so Olivia got a strangely affectionate new cat, Malvolio was eventually decided to have died in a tragic toe-stubbing accident, and Maria and Feste were total bros after a mysterious bonding event that nobody wanted to ask about ever.  

[twelfthship]

Celivia (Cesario and Olivia) and Santonio (Sebastian and Antonio) ftw! Also Faria (Feste the Fool and Maria)

Okay because I really like the ship name Santonio ((but was a silly and forgot to publish the ask instead of privately answering it like I intended)) I’m going do some of that.

Sebastian was listening to this weird dream chick natter on about how they should totally get married. He still wasn’t sure what was going on, but the lady was kinda pretty and she looked like she was really into him so he guessed he might as well….

Suddenly out of nowhere a wild Antonio appeared, and by wild I mean he looked a bit scuffed up as usual because apparently he was like a pirate or something idek man

Anyway Antonio was suddenly there and not in jail for reasons that aren’t important because they don’t involve dudes kissing.

Which is what Antonio was there for, he had figured that obviously Sebastian had mysteriously gotten amnesia or something improbable like that and needed a magical love kiss from his best bro-crush to straighten out his brain-space.

So he appeared out of nowhere and was all like “Yo sup Sebastian you don’t remember me but we are totally bros and also totally kiss each other.” Sebastian was confused by this because he did actually remember everything that had happened, but the kissing part interested him because he kinda did want to kiss Antonio he guessed.

“Yo sup Tony my man,” here they exchanged cordial but lingering bro-hugs before continuing, “idek what you’re talking about with not remembering you, I remember you fine man, but anyway here meet this weird chick I was talking too, she’s like totes into me and talking about getting married? I’ve been kinda distracted to be honest, I was wondering where you’ve been man.”

Antonio would have spared some time to be even more confused over the events that had led to him getting arrested before realizing that there was something important here to get worked up about; it sounded like some lady was trying to snag a piece of that slammin’ dude flesh he was all up and trying to get, and that was like not okay. Deciding that a laconic but firm reminder of the hierarchy of Sebastian’s relationships was in order for the woman, Antonio all up and made for Olivia saying “Yo girl I heard you were all up and angling for my man, but girl that just ain’t fly. Step off and let me kiss this dude okay? Okay. If you want someone like him to mack on though I saw this other dude (I think??) just before now who looks just like him so go mack on him okay? Okay. We good girl, shimmy along now.”

Olivia was all confused, but the pirate-looking dude looked pretty legit and he was saying something about some other dude who looked like Cesario apparently so she was going go check that out, and mainly she just wanted someone to mack on because seven years is a loooong time even for her beloved brother. So Olivia all up and olly outie’d like staying weren’t even a thing that was all up and available for the happening to get started yo.

And then Sebastian and Antonio did that thing that some people do where they kiss on each other’s faces all intentionally like.

The end.

[twelfthship]

you should write something sad like if andrew and viola actually fought and killed each other and the olivia is all sad and stuff yeah that would be good you should write that

Mmm deathfic, I like you think anon.

"Well," commented Toby, already on his third cup of wine and looking like he was just getting started, "that didn't turn out as planned."

"Dude no kidding this is what we were trying to avoid. Now both of these poor idiots are dead, this is bad man." Fabian poked one of the bodies with a toe. At least the blood puddles weren't that bad, although they were probably gonna stain something soon if someone didn't start mopping it up. He was going to have to get out the ol' set of rigged straws again at this rate.

"But woah, who'd've thought they'd actually kill each other? I mean like Andrew was one of the most pathetic, gutless cowards I ever knew, who have thought he would have actually managed to kill that other poor messenger gentleman." Toby commented in between swigs. He didn't even look that drunk yet, geez.

"Shut up Toby, god you are a stupid old drunk. Go get someone to start mopping up that blood you good-for-nothing sop." Malvolio interjected.

"Dude are you still smiling? Two people just killed each other in front of you, what are you even thinking? Geez maybe you really are possessed by the devil you creep. Yo Maria, come bring this yellow-footed creeper back to his dark room, he is obviously too weird and possessed to be out and about." Toby said, now swaying slightly as the drink finally starting breaching his downright criminal alcohol tolerance.

"Yep, he is obviously very possessed indeed haha."

Maria, dragging a still smiling like seriously dude stop that that's not funny anymore just stop Malvolio, left to go lock the radically tricked up butler in a small dark room and then contemplate how to best torment him further.

Then Olivia entered and saw the bodies and everything got worse.

"Nooooooo my hot boyish crush," cried Olivia, running over to the scene of the double homicide, "why did you have to diiiiiiiie? You were so young and handsome and also hot. I wanted to smooch your sweet feminine lips and I now I never wiiiiiiiiill."

Instead of trying to pick up Cesario's handsome young corpse though she just poked it lovingly with a delicate foot, touching a dead body is unsanitary and also gross and should be avoided at all times unless you are a professional at handling dead people.

She noticed Andrew's corpse. "Yo Toby your silly little friend is dead too, not that anyone cares about him. I bet no-one has ever cared for that staid fool, and now no-one ever will." She turned away from said staid fool's corpse and poked dear sweet precious Cesario's even more firmly and lovingly, "But seriously who cares about him when we could be mourning my beloved boyish crush, man I am so upset about him dying! I was like so in love with this dude, so very in love. Do you think we should try to have him pickled like we did my brother? I could probably muster up another couple of gallons of tears if you guys get the hoses out again."

Everybody else looked at each other, and then walked away.

[twelfthship]

hey so what did you think of that off-da-hook fight scene with Viola and Andrew, it was like so totes legit you know? also you should write some betrayed antontio fic with some sebant because wow feels poor tony bb ;-;

Dude they didn't actually fight any you know, but yeah that part was biznasty legit straight up in these parts yo.

After being arrested by Orsino's officers and having his beloved friend, who he was also crushing on, so cruelly betray him, Antonio was very sad and junk as the guards were all up and taking him to like jail or something radically uncool like that.

'Dude I am so sad and betrayed' Antonio thought sadly.

'I was like so in love with that dude after I rescued him from drowning, and then we had all these mad bro adventures and came to this rad city together. I am so sad and lovelorn and stuff yo.'

Antonio began to sniffle slightly (because he was very sad) before one of the officers asked if he needed like a tissue or something. Like, do you need to talk man I know we're arresting you but you sounded like you were having some downright legit issues on the happen back there with that boyish dude you tried to get money from. Just, like, we're here for you man, just remember that alright.

Antonio, in all his distinctly unradical misery and emotional distress and even given that the officers were technically like his enemy or something like that, was nevertheless touched by the offer.

"Actually yeah can I tell you about what's been going on with me lately? See there is this dude who I rescued from drowning, and he is like woah hot and I'm all into that and I think he is too, but then like when we got to the city (it's a nice place by the way, the Elephant has awesome beer and apparently there are some nice sights and stuff too, do you guys get many tourists or stuff?). Anyway when we got to the city me and my brocrush split up and I gave him my money in case he needed it, but then I got arrested and when I saw him," here Antonio stopped to look off into the distance mournfully, starting to tear up again, "he didn't even act like he knew who I was and wouldn't give me my money or help me out any, and like that just hurt man. Even without my rad romantic feels for this dude, we are like friends man, and friends don't let friends get dragged off without at least acting like they're still totes bffs. You know?"

The guards nodded, they totally knew. Still bodily dragging Antonio through the streets, one of them offered him another tissue while the other looked appropriately sad at this dude's very un-biznasty upset. They were also walking into the sunset because cool dudes don't get blinded looking into the sick fires of the setting sun

The end yo.

[twelfthship]

okay so here is a shipping chart for all of you who need your fix of hot shipping action in pictures

It doesn't have actual pictures though just names, I'll add on pictures later

[twelfthship]

How 'bout a little Malvolio/Maria loven' here. Like they had a little love for each other back in the day but then things went sour.

Oooh nice, something that ain't on the ship list! I'm liking this initiative anon.

Maria was sure that her wicked cool plan for ruining Malvolio was gonna work. The letter she had written and planted had seemed to convince him utterly, and now he was sure that Olivia was in love with him and desperate to return his mistresses sentiments.

'This will get him back for breaking my sweet lady heart and stuff!' she was all up and thinking. She hadn't told those drunken idiots Belch and Andrewthe whole reason why she had wanted to get one over on Malvolio, and she hadn't told them how she wanted to take the plan one step further and have Malvolio committed for madness.

Because she and Malvolio had totally had a thing back in the day, like a thing thing with feelings and kissing and junk, but then he had been a total boring stuffy butt who didn't even deserve her sweet lady love. Obviously, this meant that he had been toying with her all along. Malvolio, Maria had sworn that cold dark day he had so failed to live up to her expectations, simply had to pay.

And now, she thought rubbing her hands together and cackling, he would pay.

Oh, how he would pay.

[twelfthship]

Okay that is enough fic requests stop it now, although we will take some AU requests now.

[twelfthship]

Can we have some Olivia/Cesario? I know it's a bit of a rarepair compared to Olivia/Viola but it's actually a p good ship.

So like Cesario had been sent over to Olivia's place yet again to try and convince her to love his master, as regularly happened because Orsino didn't seem to quite understand how a lady could not love a dude who was in love with her, and by now Olivia just did her own thing most of the time while he recited the latest poetical speech he had memorized

Anyway so he had said his piece yet again and Olivia had rejected Orsino's love yet again, and he was just preparing to leave when Olivia was suddenly making motions for him to come over towards her.

Doing so Cesario (who, let it be mentioned, was also not actually secretly a lady here because of similar reasons to the last time regarding kissing) was surprised when Olivia planted a mad smooch on his lovely boyish cheek

"Wow 'Liv what was that even for, I thought you were like abstaining for men out of sadness from your bestest bro dying and stuff??" Cesario said, confused.

"I couldn't help myself any more Cesario you are just too strangely attractive" cried Olivia who blushed madly as she fiddled with her veil or something who even knows what ladies do when they are sweet on a dude. "Anyway it is not Orsino I love, as you well know, it is actually you with your stupid good looks and stupid gentlemanlyness now kiss me at once"

"Woah now this is a bit out of line here I am Orsino's servant and he loves you, I can't kiss you he would upset and bros don't make bros upset" Cesario said, although the kiss had been reasonably cute and Olivia was a pretty nice lady when you got to know her and didn't get her started on her dead brother

"Who even cares about Orsino he is boring and lame and doesn't love me so much as he enjoys being in love, you are much better than him now kiss me" Olivia said, because honestly who even cares about Orsino

"Ugh fine sure if you insist" Cesario sighed, at least it beat memorizing yet more speeches

And then they shared a magical love kiss and everything was het ((het is short for 'heterosexual' and means a male/female relationship)) the end.

[twelfthship]

dont do any orsinoolivia that is gross and borings!! do some sebestianantonio if you want real hottness

(wow rude just calm there friend, ship hate is a dangerous road that nobody even got time for, just chill and let me hook you up with some hot shipping action)

Sebastian was walking away from the coast where he had been saved by his awesome and strangely attractive new bff Antonio and trying to remember if he even knew where to find Orsino's court when all of a sudden he heard some mad shouting occurring from the direction of behind him.

"Dude wait up!" shouted Antonio as he ran to catch up with his equally strangely attractive new bff Sebastian who he was going to follow to the ends of the earth if he had to darnit because he secretly had the biggest crush on this dude like woah there Tony those are some major hots you got calm down there buddy

"Oh yeah sure" said Sebastian, and then he waited for Antonio to catch up and then rest for a bit because wow running is hard how do people even do it

"So like dude even though I have, like, enemies and stuff in Orsino's court I am totally coming with you even if it gets me in major trouble" said Antonio, looking dramatically and shyly off to the side as his words invoked all the serious and not all boring romance feels he was having for Sebastian

Sebastian for his part was all like "Oh cool I am so glad to have you with me man, because to be fair I didn't want to be apart from you either because I am actually secretly in love with you oops that was supposed to be a secret sorry"

"Dude you are in love with me?? I am in love with you too, haha now instead of having mad bro adventures while we go find Orsino's court we can have mad bro adventures that involve kissing each other in fact let us get started on that last part" said Antonio

"Yes let us" said Sebastian, albeit a little distractedly because for a second he was reminded of how his bestest twin sis was dead and wow no too many feels, but it was okay because obviously kissing would solve all of his problems ever

And they shared a magical love kiss and everything was bros the end.