Tammie Haveman @twentyshekels - Tumblr Blog

How am I doing?

It has been five months since being blindsided by my aneurysm diagnosis. Given my age, good health and lack of any discernible reason for this, I was urged by several local doctors and CV surgeons to see the aortic team at Mayo Clinic. It is hard to argue against going to the best hospital in the world when I live so close. So over the next few days, I will have extensive imaging, cardiac…

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My Life is In His Hands

The other day I was listening to a favorite gospel song while out on a run. I learned it back in my college gospel choir and have always loved the simple lyrics reminding me to not be afraid in the face of fear and trials … For there’s a friend named Jesus, who will wipe your tears away. And if your heart is broken, just lift your hands and say. I know that I can make it. I know that I can…

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I am so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers

L.M Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables famously said, “I am so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” I couldn’t agree more. I love everything about October from the way the air dries out, to the smell of the harvest to the grand finale of the year as the leaves testify that God’s creativity is beyond compare. The predicability is comforting to me as the yellows, oranges and reds each…

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A Friend Loves at All Times

The pandemic has done its level best to rob us of human interaction. Ubiquitous signage warn us to stay away from each other, circles on sidewalks direct us where to stand and partitions in schools keep kids apart. That is if they are even in school. At Target, the PA system reminds you every five seconds that, for your health and safety, please stay six feet away from other shoppers. And even…

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We All Think We Are Failing

The other day, I stepped out of office after a Zoom meeting and noticed my daughter was eating a bagel. This observation was innocuous at face value, but defeating when I thought about the cinnamon roll she’d polished off an hour before. And the muffin before that. Preceded by a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch. I then pictured the dinner rolls she ate for dinner the night before. Just rolls. And I…

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Lord, Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace

Covid-19 has turned the world upside down. Everything from schools to international borders are clamped shut. Businesses have shuttered. Store shelves & streets are barren. Even toilet paper is hard to come by.

We’ve all learned new terminology like “social distancing” and “flatten the curve.” Families are under pressure to homeschool their kids and work at the same time. That is, if they…

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What happens when your mountain won't move?

What happens when your mountain won’t move?

When I moved to the country, the idyllic rolling landscape quickly became my nightmare as a runner. The roads are long and the route choices are limited. Regardless of the direction you go, you face hill after hill after grueling hill. Also, our area is a topographical miracle because somehow every run is uphill the whole way out and the whole way back. I was a seasoned runner, but I didn’t have…

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A better way to affirm self-worth

The kids were dropped off, the kitchen cleaned and the laundry started. I was just about to sit down for some quiet time when my phone rang. Breathless and desperate, my twelve-year-old daughter lamented that she’d left her art homework on her desk and begged me to please drive it up to her.

I paused.

“Don’t rescue her,” cautioned the voice in my head. This voice was honed in the trenches of…

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In all things God works for the good

Did you stop writing?

I have been asked this question countless times over the past several months. Aside from the surprise that anyone noticed, I silently cringe at the inquiry because I have no real answer. Yes? No? Maybe for a season?

The truth is, my world imploded 198 days, 9 hours, 24 minutes and 51 seconds ago. Not that I am keeping track.

From that point forward, I’ve had tangible and…

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How to wait out a hard season

It’s hard to live in Minnesota in March. Already weary from the long winter, it feels so unfair to wake up to forecasts of snow, cold and rain while the rest of the country is walking on sunshine. We are graced with a handful of sunny days, where forty degrees feels hopeful and we all run around in t-shirts. But everyone knows these quasi-spring days are just a mirage. We have to wait through…

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A thorn was given me in the flesh -Paul (and me)

This morning, I read a private journal entry from one year ago. In it, I was processing (ok, venting) about a source of pain and frustration in my life. It is almost verbatim what I wrote over the weekend about the same source of perpetual discouragement. And similar entries are peppered throughout my journal dating back several years.

I often find myself thinking about the apostle Paul, who…

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I Flunked Out on Christmas Cards This Year

I love receiving Christmas cards. In fact, I leave the pictures up all year long because it makes my heart happy to be reminded that I have such great people in my life. But for anyone looking for our Christmas card to arrive, I have a confession to make.

It’s not gonna happen this year.

You’d think it wouldn’t be that difficult to assemble my family for a quick photo in a fall or winter…

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Here's to all the neighbor kids

Here’s to all the neighbor kids

I pulled into my driveway weary. The kids were grouchy, antsy and griping that they were hungry. I pleaded with my daughter to take her brother sledding while I made dinner. They both moaned in protest and launched a negotiation for screen time. But in the midst of their opening remarks, my neighbor kid trudged by with a sled under her arm.

The kids clamped their mouths shut and bolted upright in…

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A YouTube search for Jesus and why it matters

She was so quiet. An observer more than a talker. Cautious, gentle and a bit sad. We were hostingher for the week and I’d just finished tucking her in for the night. I lingered at the edge of the bed, sensing she had something on her mind, and asked if she had any questions for me. The child has said maybe three words to me all day. She gulped and shook her head no. I smiled and patted her…

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Mommy hold my hand

Disney World was feeling anything but magical. The heat index was 114 and I thought I would melt right into the sidewalk. My annoyance over the oppressive heat was rivaled only by my irritation that it was so crowded.

We weaved through swarms of people as we made our way from attraction to attraction or, in reality, from line to line. Either way, I just wanted to keep moving in a feeble attempt…

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This is for the mom who's not perfect

This is for the mom who’s not perfect

I am nailing it as a mom this week. Our fridge is empty. The pantry is a joke. My kids have eaten ramen for breakfast and lunch three days in a row. And I am not exaggerating.

My seven-year old doesn’t even bother to cook the noodles anymore. He just pours the seasoning packet on top of the dry hunk of ramen then walks around munching and dribbling chicken-flavored powder and crumbs all over the…

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This is what it's like to watch your teen face the world

This is what it’s like to watch your teen face the world

The moment a child is placed in your arms, your are faced with two seemingly opposing objectives: protect her from the world and prepare her for it. Its like a cosmic scale that slowly tips from protection to preparation as the child grows. But balance is elusive in the choppy terrain of parenting. And half the time you are just trying to figure out if you or your kids are standing on the right…

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Tammie Haveman