I will start from the very beginning. It seems to me the best place to start. If I told you only of the moment my ego kicked in shouting ‘’PRIVILEGED WHITE WOMAN WITH USA PASSPORT COMING THROUGH,’’ I think you would miss my evolvement getting there.
So here we go from the tippy top.
As you may or may not know there have been recent restrictions made on which electronic devices can fly into the UK and USA from certain countries, one being Turkey where I was flying from to London to meet my sister for the weekend.
Having read this update, my Kindle was out and ready for questioning. I start chatting with others in line, as I usually do, to discuss our mutual uncertainty of our varying electronics. ‘’This’ll pass the 19 cm long test, right?’’ I finally ask a British Airways desk attendant with what appeared to be a plastic board for us to test our items. I also noticed the plastic stated ‘’NO ROUND POWERBANKS’’ quite boldly. ‘’Sorry, no, just a smidge too long. You’ll have to check it.’’ Now there was something here, a little voice that said, ‘’Hey mister, check again - I am not paying for a checked bag just for this new law and there is no post office at the airport to send it back to my apartment in Istanbul soooooooooooo ...’’
It was the long so-oo that caught my compassion and I quieted myself before saying or thinking anything else that might encourage resentment. ‘’Hmm,’’ I looked around, ‘’anyone already checking a back I could slip this into?’’ A few said they would but couldn’t because they were already unsure of their carry-on weight; although, I heard ‘’never take something from another passenger’’ echoing through my head and realized there could be another reason no one was volunteering for this quest. Until 2 women traveling with many bags said they would ‘’of course’’ take it. I handed it off and let them try ahead of me at the ticket counter. However, realizing they hadn’t paid for luggage prior they moved to the side to repack and I moved up in line leaving them to sort ‘their’ luggage issue without hesitation.
The representative questioned why I gave them my kindle and went on to explain she’d check my luggage because of the new restrictions. ‘’Yeah, as long as it has no round powerbanks you’ll be fine.’’ I lied, and put the one that was fully charged from my purse into the checked bag. It was within the new policy that anyone who bought their ticket before the new law was in place would be able to check a bag FOR FREE. My mouth said, ‘’Oh, that’s wonderful, I will grab my kindle and come back to check this pack,’‘ but my ego said ‘‘THAT’s more like it,’’ and stuck it’s nose in the air. I am not sure it came back down because here is what happened next.
‘‘Right ladies, thanks so much for taking the Kindle but they will check my bag for free so I will take it back and do that.’‘ ‘‘Oh good news for you darling, here is the Kindle and could you possibly take this as your carry-on now that you don’t have one? It seems we are over on weight and are only allowed 1 carry-on each.’‘ ‘‘Of course, just get it tagged?’‘ I said, presuming obviously they wouldn’t expect me to go through security with their bag. ‘‘Well ya, but also go through the check point with us. Oh, and have you any money? We don’t have a credit card or enough money to check these bags on us so we are at a lost as to what we should do.’‘ I didn’t have the money on me, but I did have a credit card that I didn’t offer up. After I got the carry-on luggage tagged, I returned and quickly excused myself to use the toilet and get a coffee before take off. They understood completely and I headed for security, without their carry-on. I slipped away, and even though my heart wanted to help more - I could have and didn’t. This is when I probably should have noticed all my rights & wrongs were shifting around.
The line was quick and painless as now I only had a purse with me. A couple of the friendlies from the line before and I started chatting. After we got through, we looked at the flight board and decided we all needed a coffee after all the electronics hiccups we each had. When checking out, I offered to pay for the lot of drinks, having adapted to Turkish hospitality I felt it only right to act as hostess. ‘’No, I couldn’t possibly allow that. However, your kindness has been noted and karma accrued.’’ We giggled it off, but I wonder now if that karma only paid off the debt I’d just withdrew for the free checked bag and leaving those kind women to sort themselves without my financial or moral support.
Last matter with the Aussies, a trade of local vs tourist. One of them needed a Turkish stamp, which I happened to have in my wallet and gladly offered. I also mentioned there was no post office in the airport. I promised to mail it when I returned to İstanbul on Monday, but only having the tiny purse with me I encouraged him to give it to me when we collected our baggage in London. İn return he asked if I needed help where I was heading once we landed. Grateful for the information alone, he also offered up his Oyster Card - I just couldn’t believe my luck. Here it is again - My Luck. As in the luck I deserve and own rightfully because I have been kind.
Together we go to gate and find the 2 women being searched. ‘’They let us through with all 3 bags, but now they are taking issue with them,’’ one said to me as I took a seat. Once they finished they sat down and whispered a bit about needed to reach their nephew and brother to pick them up and bring the funds for the nice man who came to their rescue and paid for the extra baggage at the ticket counter. ‘’I can help!’’ Eager to make up for leaving them stranded I handed them my phone with unlimited data and insisted they use it to call their family in London. ‘’Phew, that was a karmic close one,’’ I thought to myself.
Passing them to enter the plane, I overheard one last call for my salvation. ‘‘Only 1 carry-on bag ma’am.’‘ Before I realize my own actions, I have scooped up the 3rd carry-on and thanked the women for watching it for me as I went to the toilet. Redemption! We all get situated on the plane and thank each other for everything we tried to do to get each other (and all our stuff) on the flight.
Once aboard, a new set of twists emerged. For starters, the Captin informed us that we would be waiting an additional 20 minutes or so before take off as someone had been removed from the flight, but they needed time to remove his baggage as well.
I found my seat and though the 2 friends I had yet to make moved out of the way for me to take it, I had to pee first and made them sit back down.
Finally ready, I sit down and take off, we all introduce ourselves. ‘’Right, so I can already tell you’re nice but possibly dreadfully irritating and likely to cause me great grief on this flight,’’ said the chap, Sam from London. ‘’Ah-ha, he is just annoyed you had to pee. He doesn’t understand we are women, of course we will pee before the flight,’’ said the dentist, Elif from İstanbul. ‘’Welp, this should be fun,’’ said my ego, Maggie from NYC.
Just in time to break our awkward introductions a man starts to search the overheads, feverishly looking for his bag. An attendant followed behind him and dropped a hand-carved wooden tavla board on a woman’s head. ‘’Oh dear, look what I’ve done. I’ve dropped this on your head. Are you alright? I am so sorry, I will get you some ice. Really, I do apologize about that. On the bright side, he’s found his bag. It’s quite a nice bag, actually .. soft. Not like the hard one I dropped on your head.”
At this point the 3 of us are dying laughing and bonding over the fact that we all found this other person’s injury delightfully amusing.
'’Look look, her she comes with the ice.’’ ‘’ Right, we will make a report about the ice,’’ said the flight attendant.“Could I give back the ice and not report this?” said the injured. At this point the 3 of us as well as the rows beind us were all in hysterics. ‘’We’ll fill it out you’ll just sign, but we won’t force you to sign. We aren’t United Airlines - we won’t force you to do anything,” which encouraged many more chuckles followed by a long awkward silence which was finally broken by Sam, ‘’Are are we in a rom-com? Is Hugh Grant gonna come pop out the back?’’ This might have gotten more laughs had the Captin not then come on AGAIN to inform us of an additional delay, a medical issue. Good thing for them we were delayed for the baggage removal, unless of course it was the stress of waiting that sent this passenger into their emergency.
Nothing tickled me more than the Captin making the announcement to switch off laptops and put our tray tables away TWICE before take off while we all reminded each other of the new laws and the fact that we couldn't bring them on the plane, much less switch them off now.
‘‘Right, well, I wasn’t planning on drinking on this flight, but I think we better,’‘ said Sam, and once we were airborn (1.5 hours delayed) that’s exactly what we did.
Now the flight itself was perfect, at least that is what I remember from our cocktail party in the sky. It was only upon my entrance to the UK where my trip picked up any turbulence.
‘‘Oh Maggie, where is your landing card?’‘ Elif asked, wide-eyed and serious. ‘‘What landing card? I wasn’t given anything on the flight.’‘ ‘‘Ya, you definitely need one, here I carry extra and here is a pen,’‘ Sam offered. Those two were true buds now. I knew I had filled the card out incorrectly, I crossed something out and wrote next to it the correct answer, but I had no idea this would mean .. well just keep up because this part goes fast.
The line was moving quite slowly, and I noticed a family in a waiting area being questioned by one of the customs agents. ‘’Why don’t you have return tickets though? How long do you plan to stay? Why are you here?’’ were just a few of the questions I overheard. ‘’Well, we are from Syria and I am going to try to get a job here.’’ She said it so innocently, but I knew she’d just signed her own deportation paperwork.
I was next in line. The agent I saw in the waiting area came to booth 28, a significant number for me and I saw it as divine luck I was in store to get it. ‘’Here I go,’’ I giggled to Elif, who had been warning me to be respectful (and sober) to the agents. ‘’Don’t be nice even, make no jokes Maggie, I am serious.’’
‘‘Right well I see you either couldn’t be bothered to fill out your landing card or you are a total idiot,’‘ Customs Agent 565 announced loudly. I said nothing at first, just handed him my passport. Elif, already through, waited for me on the other side, noticing my smile had been wiped clean.
‘‘Are you dumb as well? I said you didn’t fill out the landing card,’‘ he shouted as he ripped up the one I had filled out (albeit with one mistake).
‘’Hey! Wait, what? I know I crossed something out but I did fill that out.’’ This was Strike 1, defending myself.
‘’I am here to visit my sister for the weekend.’’
‘’So when do you leave?’’
‘’Show me your return ticket.’’
‘’We took off nearly 2 hours late and as you probably know the airline now won’t let us travel with powerbanks.’’ Strike 2, dead phone.
‘’How is that my problem? If you can’t prove you have a return ticket, why should I let you in the country?’’
This was it - this was the moment I heard it. ‘’WHITE WOMAN WITH USA PASSPORT! THAT’S WHY YOU SHOULD LET ME IN!’’ Of course instead I just recited his badge number to him, told him he shouldn’t be treating ‘me’ this way and asked if there was someone else I could talk to. Just then he noticed Elif waiting and I motioned for just 1 minute to her with a smirk. Strike 3. ‘’İf you and your friend think this is a joke, I will show you it isn’t. Come with me.’’
He took me to the same area where he had been questioning the family earlier. There was also a man bleeding from his head, a mother with a crying baby and a small boy who looked to be on his own. ‘’Take a seat,’’ 565 said. I sat down in shock that I would be put in ‘this’ area with ‘these’ people. ‘’Don’t sit there, sit over there,’’ 565 motioned toward the injured man. ‘’No thank you, I am fine here.’’ ‘’I said move,’’ 565 shouted. ‘’I said no,’’ I situated in my seat. No longer alone he quickly changed his tone with me and decided not to push it further. ‘’I will be back in 10 minutes once your passport clears.’’
I was only in this waiting area about 15 minutes before I started to complain. ‘’He said 10 minutes,’’ I said to the female agent in the area with us. ‘’I shouldn’t talk to you,’’ she actually said that more than once. ‘’That little boy has asked you for water several times, you won’t do anything about that?’’ This was the first time she responded to me with anything else.‘
’Actually I didn’t understand him because he doesn’t speak English.”
“So now that you know you’ll get him some water?”
“I would do, but I am not allowed to leave this area and they have forgotten to give me a walky-talkie today.’’
‘’Excuse me? They forgot? Like that other agent is forgetting about me in here? İs this normal? Do you even know why he put me in here?’’
I saw her starting to squirm in her seat. Finally, after another 10 minutes passed, she was able to flag down another agent to make requests to. He came and brought the boy water which is when I took the opportunity to state my case.
“Hello, I’ve been forgotten about. Actually, I was never really told why I am in this area in the first place. That officer, there, put me here to make a point, but I have actually done nothing wrong and I would like to be released immediately.”
I spoke quite loudly too, you know, the way one does when they are trying to make the one they are speaking to uncomfortable. Why I chose this position against any authority figure at all can only be explained by privilege. If I didn’t recognize it before, I sure as hell know what it looks like now. It looks a whole lot like waiving a USA Passport around, making demands and knowing it will end the way I want it to. Which unfortunately for my higher consciousness, is exactly what happened.
Customs Agent 8336 brought me my passport and took me directly to another agent. The agent asked me the exact same questions as Agent 565, but accepted my answers and stamped me into the country. Agent 8336 apologized to me and led me towards the exit.
Maybe it was the fact that I had already missed the play where my sister and I were supposed to meet. Maybe it was the adrenaline from the time in purgatory pumping through my vains. Maybe it was the Entitlement Switch not shutting off - but do you know what I said to this agent instead of “thank you”?
“It’s not enough. I have missed the play. My phone is dead and the people who were helping get where I was going are long-gone. I want to make a complaint. I want to talk to someone and fill out paperwork on what that agent just put me through.”
He left for a moment and returned with a pamphlet. “Here, here is how we accept complaints. Write it down when you’re calm. We have a way of tracing every incidence here, no matter how much time has gone by.”
So there it was, I got to leave with a way to complain just 40 short minutes after I got into the line in the first place. And you know what? I re-lived this 40 minutes the entire 1.5 hrs it took to get to my sister where I thought for sure I would breakdown in her arms. I didn’t. Instead I said, “I am traumatized but looking at you now, I can’t do anything but smile.”
I waited in the lobby during the second half of the show, and talked to my sweet Turkish guy who tried his best to put things in perspective for me. Though I couldn’t yet hear all the truth behind it, one thing he said resonated. “Honey, you didn’t deserve it, but Cathy & London don’t either so don’t ruin your time there with her. If you enjoy your time, that agent loses with you.”
He was right, of course. So while I nursed my day-hang with water, I tried hard to let the experience go. At least until I could get my thoughts together and fill in that pamphlet.
After the show got out, I met my sister and her co-worker where I vocalized a bit more as we walked toward a pub for bites and booze. I said I tried, I didn’t say I succeeded.
“Do you want a pint?” Cathy suggested as I sat down.
“No thanks, just water. I’m so thirsty.” There is was, the first wave of guilt. I am thirsty and just like that I am going to get ice water from the tap for free. Where is the justice? That little boy might still be in that waiting area.
A while later, my headache started to clear and I caught another wave. I remembered the wounded man, the one I didn’t want to sit next to when the customs agent barked at me to move. How was his head? Why didn’t I care about his head before?
I didn’t need a third wave to see it now. “You guys, I didn’t want to be in the waiting area or lumped into any category with ‘those people’.” “Who Maggie?” “People who the Customs Agents were deeming illegal, I guess?” I said this aloud, but what I thought and what I am sure my smart sister heard was, “People who are less privileged.”
It didn’t take me much longer to come to that awareness fully formed as an apology to my own heart. Not only had I outrageously behaved towards a government official who rightfully detained me for not having proof of a return ticket AND incorrectly filled out a landing card, I had also dismissed the entire country - hell the whole island - for something 1 representative “did to me.” Where was I, my higher consciousness, my compassion, my memory of the many friends I have had detained at airports recently either denied entry or deported from Turkey. Many of which hold UK or USA citizenship (NOT THE POINT), but I felt even set apart from them? Who did I think I was? Who do I think I am now that I realized my human is not always so awake.
I have more work to do around this, because try as I might to not repeat this offensive attitude towards my fellow man, I won’t know where my entitlement switch is until it clicks on again. Right now I know it exists within a combination of my anger, time sensitivity and 3 Proseccos. For everyone’s sake, I hope it does happen, I have a lot more to learn.
