I really don't know which is more painful
that the you i fell for, the you who laughed with me, tucked me into bed, joked with me, drew with me, moved with me, gave me piggy back rides after scary doctors appointments, sang with me, took me on midnight rides and walks in the forest preserve, held me so tight, attended weddings with, committed fidelity with me, helped me explore myself, proposed to me and promised me we'd always work things out, that we would never be our parents...
either that person never actually existed and I fell for a mask
or he slowly died in front of me and is gone forever.


















