Akechi thought about the question for a moment as he watched the other kiss his hand. He felt something pull at his heart, not knowing if it was sadness or something else. It’s emotions were a hurricane and he had no control over them at the moment. His mind like the wind, as if to fuel the storm.
“I don’t believe afraid is the right word. More like perturbed, if I had to pick a word.” he forced himself to give a weak smile. It wasn’t that this world made him feel unsafe, although it probably should have. Knowing that he was with Kue and this was his world gave him all the security he needed. However. What was causing his anxiety was his feelings and how quickly they were growing. When the other released his hand he realized just how warm Kue’s body was compared to his own. Akechi’s heart and soul literally resembled ice. Apart of himself already knew this, but actually being able to physically feel it was something different.
“I try not to assume the worst.” Hm. What a a foolish thought.
Assuming the worst was something that happened everyday for the Prince. He forged his own path, with his own blood stained hands, and for what? What did get really get out of it. Sure his father was dead, but now what? What purpose in life did he really have? His mind was dragging him down and he had no way to control it. All he could do was stand in silence as the other spoke.
What had Akira told him about God? All that Akechi knew was that once he woke up after blacking out in Shido’s Palace, his father had admitted everything and that he decided to stand trail against him in Akira’s stead. The Phantom Thieves disbanded and once Akechi was out of holding he was gone. He thought back to when he first awoken his Persona, and how something had said he was to be a “Wild Card”, but nothing was ever explained. Could that person have been the God Kue spoke of now? He could’t be sure and he’d probably never know.
Akechi’s eyes widen a bit. Of course he’d notice. It was very unlike the detective to not keep his fake face on, but something about Kue made him drop his guard. Another pull at his heart, and his mind.
“You have a purpose now, where as I don’t.” he finally said after giving it some thought.
“Ever since I met Akira it was always that way. How is it that you manage to do things in life without losing yourself.” It wasn’t a question in his tone, but more like a statement. He knew that kind of answer he’d get, but he just didn’t want to really hear it. Akechi sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
“I apologize. This isn’t like me.” he said giving an honest smile.
“I guess seeing you in this place gave me more comfort than I knew what to do with.” he laughed lightly. He wanted to ask about the black feather, but that too he was afraid of what the answer might be, but regardless he wanted to know.
“There was something back here I was curious about. Inside that bowl.”
He listens quietly, best not to speak without context; the words are sad, and a little amusing, does Akechi think so highly of him? He supposes he should be touched. Or maybe proud that his own mask is holding up so well. Though he hates to admit it’s a mask.
“Everyone has a different reaction to this place, I’m still trying to figure out what determines it” he admits, “Granted it’s not like I have many guests. The occasional wanderer, a friend, you would think I would have a deeper understanding, it is my heart right? But...”
He waves it off, and does not continue the sentence.
“...Isn’t that for the best though? That you haven’t been handed a purpose” he moves slightly, enough so to stand before the other man, hands lifting, one to cup Akechi’s cheek and the other to push soft brown hair back. How lovely it feels beneath his fingers.
“Starting with nothing gives you everything, the potential is limitless, and you’re free to choose what you do and what you become. You’ve always forged your own path, would you really be happy if someone told you what you needed to do, or what role you need to play? I can’t imagine you would be”
His head tilts forward, a kiss pressed to Akechi’s forehead.
“You don’t need to apologize to me you know, what is there to be sorry for?
You shouldn’t feel bad for being honest with me, I’m not going to reprimand you for your feelings or intentionally put them down, you have a right to be taken seriously” his hands fall away again, head turning towards the offering bowl.
For a moment a puzzled look crosses his expression, it doesn’t seem directed at Akechi, it seems more directed towards the bowl itself.
“I put the bullet in there myself because I felt it belonged there for some reason. If you’re wondering, then the answer is yes” his hand lifts to touch his chest and the rest is implied; yes, that’s one of the bullets I was shot with.
“The feather is from my friend Opal, I think she left it when she came over for tea.” his head cocks, as if even more puzzled by the little shrine and its shiny bowl of obsidian stone.
“...The truth is, I have no idea what it does” he laughs, part genuine amusement, part sheepish, all soft.
It has to do something right? He didn’t put it here himself on purpose, so it must serve something even if he doesn’t know, he’s sort of puzzled over it before but. In the end it just wasn’t worth working himself into a stress ball over, there was nothing dangerous down here besides himself, and it didn’t have an uncomfortable aura, if anything it felt a little soothing for him to look at and be around.
“...I’m sorry, I wish I had more information for you, if it makes you feel any better, it honestly drives me up a wall from time to time as well. I figure it isn’t hurting anyone by existing however.”
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