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@theartofmadeline
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@tykaii
# GOJO CRASHES OUT AGAIN
the gap moe is gojo satoru, number one gaming youtuber in japan, and how he crashes out loser style whenever people hit on his vlogger girlfriend. (that’s you, by the way.)
content: language, crude humor, crack fic, modern au, youtuber au, everyone is an adult, hints of reverse harem
MY BAD, I GUESS
ᯓᡣ𐭩 in which you assume that your crush is your twin brother’s boyfriend (which is definitely not the case)
warnings/tags: everyone is extremely ooc (especially Megumi and Yuta) for the sake of my funniness, many many gay jokes, wrong itafushi??, mentions of making out, cussing, kys jokes, reader and yuji sibling duo (again cuz I love them), reader is a fucking dumbass, some grammar mistakes (that’s embarrassing), nobamaki mention
a/n: why the fuh is this so long💔 math can wait this is lowk more important
permanent tag list: @dreamydaredevil @sugerfilled @lookacat @i-smell-sharpies @valeriestulips @shhhhhhxoxo125 @xombied @i-liketoast @asthmaticasma @chosoissohotugh @luvsztringa @balladofjaynedoe @vivimsical @mysizzlingsteak @chuuyan4kahara @megumiimeow @kittyguumi @megssleepygirl @beninn @mocassora @meowieees @notlikeothernerds @veronicalosr @eilishgf @mrstelephone @belchyra @megurei @thatonepupkai @catboygumi @megumisrighttoe @nonchalantfiend @leviackermanswaifu @bri22222
smau only tag list: @josuni
i keep forgetting suguru and satoru r two cheeks of the same ass and keep writing suguru as annoyed of satoru’s shit 💔 his ass would probably join his antics
expect the next fic to be more faithful to that 🤩🤩 (if i ever write it)
!!slightly suggestive!!
“Babyyy, can you help me finish this?”
You were in the middle of doing the paperwork for the last mission, and it wasn’t until you heard Satoru’s voice that you realized you’ve been at the desk for hours without food or rest. A break from it sounded good.
Placing the pen down, you stretched your arms out and went to turn around to face him. “Sure! What is it-“
There he was, leaning against the doorframe while holding a full pack of condoms. The packaging showed that there were 24 inside.
“…..”
You were considering jumping out the window, but instantly decided against it since you had broken your legs the last time you did. The nonstop teasing from your boyfriends that came afterwards was hell.
“No.”
Satoru gasped like you had just admitted to eating his sweets. “But-“
“No buts! Ask Sugu to top you or something!”
Suguru, who was in the living room within earshot of the conversation, instantly grimaced. As much as he loved his freaky little goblin, that devil had the sex drive of an incubus, and he was still recovering from last night.
“Suddenly, I have multiple STDs,” he instantly said, showing he wasn’t interested as his attention went back to his phone.
What he failed to account for was that Satoru was a freak.
“I’d still hit.”
“What.”
“Gojo Satoru.”
“……”
The room went dead silent the moment Suguru entered with that terrifying tone. It made both you and Satoru pause whatever you two were doing—Hell, he even stopped playing the video game on the TV when he was so close to winning.
And as much as you loved Satoru, you weren’t brave enough to face Suguru’s wrath. “Well, it was nice knowing you,” you said while standing up from the couch.
Satoru immediately scrambled out of the beanbag chair to grab onto you before you could leave. “WAIT! DON’T LEAVE ME WITH THAT MONSTER-“
“Monster, huh?”
His blood ran cold after realizing his mistake. When he slowly turned his head back to look at said monster, the calm smile on Suguru’s face only made him look even more eerie than before.
You visibly cringed at the sight, knowing that Satoru was doomed now. “Ooo, you just dug your grave..”
He desperately tried to redeem himself, but it was already too late. “NO! I DIDN’T MEAN THAT!”
“Did I hear that right, Gojo Satoru?”
“PLEASE! STOP USING MY FULL GOVERNMENT NAME!”
The sight of Suguru slowly pulling out a belt from his pocket only made Satoru’s skin turn the same shade of white as his hair.
“Wait… We can talk about it, please-“
You immediately pulled your phone out to record the scene for blackmail, making it just in time for Satoru’s screams that sounded just like Tom’s from Tom and Jerry.
I’m so happy to finally be posting an animation!!! It was a week late, but I’m glad I took the time to add and clean up a few things^^
And also FINALLY I got something out that features those little stars!! I’ve been making them a big theme lately for my AU bc they resonate with me so much. They will be making plenty more appearances!... especially for you know what. I fell in love with the concept ever since I got the visual in my head of how Suguru’s love and warmth for Satoru would translate into this seemingly endless field of stars. I’ve said before how I got the image from this specific line in my fic:
Moving his arms up to take Suguru’s supple lips in his hands, Satoru buried his face further into his warmth—eager to gather every bit of it.
I always imagined Satoru trying to carry as many of the stars he could in his arms, despite there being an endless amount:(🤲
Edit: bro Tumblr and X fried the quality😭
Without having to look back, Suguru could feel two menaces approaching him from behind.
Satoru was the first to appear by his side, fingers snaking up his arm. “Suguru~”
“No.”
You appeared on his other side, slowly wrapping your arms around neck. “Cmon Suguru….”
“I said no.”
“Why not?” the white haired male whined while flopping down on top of table like some attention seeking cat.
Suguru deadpanned at him, taking a deep breath in. “Last time I let you borrow my notes, you both drew an inordinate amount of penises in the margins. Unnervingly detailed ones too…”
“Well it’s not our fault your stupid pants makes your silhouette look like a penis!” Satoru groaned out.
Both you and Suguru blinked in confusion at what he just said.
“How does that even correlate to what I sa-“
“Wait, that’s why we drew penises??”
Now Satoru turned to stare at you, confused as well. “What did you think we were drawing them for???”
“Because you’re gay???”
He waved his index finger at you. “Nuh uh.”
You were baffled.
“Fuck you mean nuh uh?? You’re literally dating Suguru!” you yelled while pointing at said man.
Suguru let out a sigh. He wasn’t allowed one moment of peace, even when studying.
“I’m going to kill myself..”
And like two monkeys sharing one brain cell, that sentence activated the neuron in your brains. You both ceased your argument and turned to face him.
“Noo don’t kill yourself, you’re so sexy aha” the both of you said in sync.
A belt slowly formed in hands. “Never mind, I’m killing you two first.”
Neither you nor Satoru were brave enough to stick around.
The both of you immediately scrambled out of the room like your lives depended on it (which it did).
Ring! Ring! Ring!
You were in the middle of eating the best ice cream in the world, when you heard your phone ringing. When you went to check who the caller was, the name ‘side hoe #1 🩵’ was on screen.
Click!
“Mm. Hello?” you answered with a spoonful of ice cream still in your mouth.
“Hi babyyy!~ Would you mind telling me why your locations is showing that you’re AT A 7-ELEVEN THAT IS 16 MILES AWAY FROM HOME????”
The yelling was so loud, the mic peaked and you swore you got hearing loss from the ear that was against the phone. You held it further away to spare your ears as you gave your reply.
“I got hungry,” you pouted while taking another spoonful of your ice cream.
You could hear him taking a deep breath, in and out. “There is a 7-Eleven literally 5 MINUTES AWAY FROM US.”
“Yea, but they don’t have that ice cream I like.”
“IT IS 3 AM.”
In the same call, you could hear a very faint yet familiar groan coming from farther away, clearly having been disturbed from a good nap.
“What’s all the yelling about?” your second boyfriend grumbled while coming closer towards where the noise is coming from. “Some people are trying to sleep-“
“She’s 16 miles away from us right now,” Satoru interrupted with a deadpan.
“…..”
A deep breath could be heard coming from him. “Did she say why?”
“The 7-Eleven next to us doesn’t have the ice cream she likes.”
“……..”
“Is she aware that it is 3 AM?”
“Yes.”
“……….”
You simply let the conversation turn into silence, humming a small little tune while finishing up the rest of your ice cream.
Just as you were about to throw the plastic container and spoon away, you suddenly felt a large amount of cursed energy approaching.
When looking up to see where it was coming from…
“Wait, is that Rainbow Dragon charging at me-“
Tonight was movie night, and you were smushed between your two boyfriends: Satoru and Suguru. The former was hogging up most of the blanket while the latter simply munched on the popcorn absentmindedly.
You all, for whatever reason, agreed on watching a random crime documentary on YouTube. As the scene where it was explained how the body was found, you suddenly had a bright idea.
“I just thought of the best way to hide a body as a murderer.”
A long sigh left Suguru as he slowly turned his head. Never a normal day in this household… “What is it?”
An obnoxious slurping noise came from Satoru, somehow already on his fifth can of Coke.
“So we eat the body.”
PFFFFFT—
Soda sprayed everywhere as he stared at you in both astonishment and horror. “HELP????”
“Why not just, I don’t know, throw it in a river or bury it?” Suguru suggested instead, flicking a popcorn at Satoru for the mess he had made.
“Wait, what do you mean we?”
“One,” You held up your index finger, “They’ll find the body eventually. And two,” Another finger, “How am I gonna finish that all by myself?”
Before Suguru could argue with you, Satoru took the chance to answer your question. “You don’t. Instead, you cook a bunch of meals and feed it to the homeless.”
You thought about it for a moment. “Wait, that’s genius.”
“I’m living with psychopaths..”
◦˚~ SET OF BLUE DIVIDERS ~˚◦
Requested by: @rosaeh Info: these were all made by me. please follow my rules & reblog/like if use!
HERE WE GO AGAIN.
I went about coloring this a little differently, along with keeping the lineart.
Snip. Snip. Snip.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...Why'd you stop?"
Satoru asked, voice slightly shaky as he sat on the makeshift barbers setup you, Shoko and Suguru had made for this occasion specifically.
"Yikes." You heard shoko mutter, just before the flash of a photo being taken came from her flip phone.
"What's that supposed to mean?!?" Satoru's voice rose, back straightening just a bit more but not moving away from his spot. All the while you stood behind him, staring at your handiwork. "Hey?? Answer me!!"
You could hear Suguru nearly knock a vase to the floor as he's stifling in his laughter. Poorly, may I add.
"Damn, I messed up," You dropped the pair of the scissors to the side, grabbing the razor and clicking it on. "We gotta go bald."
You sighed in acceptance as Shoko and Suguru had moved to restrain a now-screaming Satoru in the chair with maximum effort. All the while giggling like idiots.
It was your mistake, but it had to be done. It was for the best. Even if Gojo was screaming bloody murder at you.
I'm fixing it before Gege decides to 👍🏼
....
Please do not repost!
Thanks!!
