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Some Unwelcome Thoughts (I Do Not Recommend Reading This)

Sometimes I wonder if other people process life like me or if someone was secretly slipping me crazy pills in my youth. I woke up last night with the most out-of-nowhere thoughts running through my mind. It was as if some unwelcome preacher had started a church service in my head. I don’t know if I should call his sermon morbid, sobering, or a gift.

Here is his intrepid manuscript.

Tyler, Let’s say tomorrow you find out that you have a terminal disease and have only weeks or months to live, how would you face that sort of suffering? Would you crumble under the weight of it? Would there be even a hint of secret joy hidden beneath the pain, knowing that death can only deliver you into the arms of your true treasure: Jesus? Would you be able to face the great sorrow of the loss of your wife, your kids, your friends and family, everything you’ve ever known and possessed, not denying or minimizing the grief of it all, but trusting the promise, with a secret, transcendent hope, even joy, because Christ was already your real treasure in this life, and the next?

Tyler, here and now, are you building your life and hope around the things that you are guaranteed to lose in time? Do you actually treasure and love Jesus? Like, really treasure and love him? Like you love and treasure your kids? More than you love and treasure them? Are the patterns and rhythms of your life breeding a joy and affection for Him that would prove itself, tangible, undeniable, strong, in the midst of that kind of sorrow?

Put simply, Are you treasuring Jesus now? Because If not, your hope is weaker than you know, and your ability to deal with hardship and suffering will be too. And Tyler, it’s only a matter of time until you face sorrow of some sort.

Tyler, fight for joy in Jesus, the only One you will never lose. Fill your life with habits that fill your heart with love for Him. Tyler, less time wasted piddling away. Tyler, more time in prayer. More time in Scripture. More time with Him. Tyler, this matters. Fight for intimacy with Jesus, and you will be strong enough to face suffering with hope when it comes.

The silent, morbid preacher in my head folded up his sermon notes and closed in prayer. I rolled over and went to sleep.

But I woke up with his unwanted words ringing in my head. So obviously I figured I should put them online for all to read. So I’m here processing his sermon in the public sphere, asking myself how I’m going to respond. What rhythms I am willing to put in my life that will make Jesus increasingly beautiful in my life and stabilize my heart on the rock when the storm inevitably comes. After all, what is the Christian life if it is not a life that treasures Jesus Christ? Lord, help me.

—

Matt 7:24-27 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

On Recent Events

Yes, our country is changing.

No, panic, grumbling, and fear are not fitting responses for the Church of Almighty God. Jesus is still on his throne. What is the proper response? I believe it’s prayer.

We as the Church must stop entrusting our time and energy to click-bait articles and hashtags as if they have the power to effect positive change in anyones heart, and return to our knees in prayer to the God who can.

Now, as the cultural tides begin to reveal themselves as undeniably shifting and Christianity settles into the margins. Now as legitimate persecution begins to look as if it may poke its head over the horizon even here in the US. Now, amidst the seared consciences of a culture that has done all it can to erase the reality of the sacred and embrace unfettered sensuality, a culture that comes out swinging at anyone toting an even relatively undiluted message of divine authority, now is when the Church of Jesus Christ gets to shine brightest.

Let us return to our knees in prayer. Let our thoughts, speech, and actions be guided and informed by the love and grace we have received in Christ. Let us not waste this amazing opportunity to bless those who curse us and reveal the love of Jesus. Let us stand for the truth, guided by love, not anger. Let us pray like the apostle Paul, with tears in our eyes, for those who walk as enemies of the cross, whose god is their stomach and whose glory is in their shame. Let us pray for the gift of tears and the ability to feel the things God feels.

Let us remember that Jesus commissioned his disciples not as a moral majority calling for behavioral modification, but a missional minority, filled with the power of the Holy Spirit and armed with the best news man would ever receive, that Jesus died to save sinners like us. And most of all, let us trust firmly in the name of Jesus come what may. Jesus wins.

——

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright. Ps 20:7-8

If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

New Song in the works - Forever Yours

mother earth

father time

you stand so sure

but there's a storm you wont survive

i can feel it

stirs like an ocean in my soul

were castles tall

made of sand

on the shore

here comes a tide we won't withstand

i can feel it

stirs like an ocean in my soul

they tell me

seize the day

son make it last

but im just sand inside an hour glass

still, im forever yours

forever forever forever

we start to die the day were born

but when i found you i found forevermore

and i'm forever yours

forever forever forever

come on friends

lets face the truth

you're on the run

but it keeps closing in on you

you can feel it

stirs like an ocean in your soul

stick a bandaid on that bullet hole

pour out some bottled hope

tune up that neon glow

but you still feel it

stirs like an ocean in your soul

OUT

all my treasure is where your heart is

i found my treasure the day we started

and im forever yours forever forever forever

"If people knew us as we really are, without all the worldly decorations we have all gathered would they still love us, or would they forget us as soon as we were no longer of use to them? This is the central question of identity: are we good because of what we do or have, or because of who we are? Am I somebody because the world makes me into somebody or am I somebody because I belonged to God long before I belonged to the world?"

Henri Nouwen - "Adam"

an excerpt from "Facing Leviathan" by Mark Sayers. Good and good. "Traditionally, Christianity's belief that "all have sinned and and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23) had offered an honest assessment of the darkness that resides within the human heart. The Dutch theologian and politician Abraham Kuyper noted that this baseline starting point, that all humans have sinned created a radical equality. He wrote that "all men or women , rich or poor, weak or strong, dull or talented, as creatures of God, and as lost sinners, have no claim whatsoever to lord over one another." Yet as the Christian story was increasingly marginalized and as the society of spectacle began to dominate the social conscience, the old pagan temptations returned. Kuyper had noted that in the pagan worldview "a divine superiority is exhibited" which gives way to hero-worship. No longer is the inner heart work of God's redeeming and saving love needed. All that is needed is to create a glorious outer facade. To, in short, be a spectacular participant in the society of spectacle. Writing when Christianity still shaped the dominant worldview of the West, the German medieval writer Thomas a Kempis taught that "it is good for us to encounter troubles and adversities from time to time, for trouble often compels a man to search his own heart. It reminds him that he is an exile here, that he can put his trust in nothing in this world...A man should therefore place such complete trust in God that he has no need of comfort from men." Yet when trouble comes to us in our society of spectacle, which encourages an exterior life dependent upon the audience and affirmation of others, without God we have no way of holding back the darkness within. We have no shelter against the storms within our souls."

A Confession

There are so many voices these days. I often time’s think of James 3:1: “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness” as I muse through the peaking landscape of blogs and often rocky valleys of “christian tweets”. And as I do I wonder what James might have written if he wrote this verse in 2014 among so many computer-top-soap-box preachers. How stern might his warning have been? I myself have been guilty on so many occasions of typing bible verses or what I considered to be pithy-Christian-knowledge-nuggets into the computer to put them in the public eye, and sit and watch for likes, favorites, and so on for affirmation. It’s sad I know, but, let’s get real here. Clang Clang Clang goes the self consumed cymbal of online discourse. So much noise. So many opinions. And before I know it I’ve wandered so far into the too-many-words-wilderness that I can’t hear wisdom calling aloud in the streets. Much less hear any still small whisper amidst the dissonant static of a million screaming opinions. And the worst part is I don’t even know its happening most of the time.

So, all this to say, I don’t blog much anymore. Truth is I can just rarely justify joining the static chorus. But today I am at boiling point.

This blog is a confessional of sorts I guess. The confession of a soul trying to take its first stroke back upstream against the invisible torrent its been floating within for far too long. Soothed into a strange restless comfort-coma by the current. The confession of a heart freshly shaken by grace to recognize that its been put in a sleeper hold by the strong grip of the fear of man and the need for approval. The confession of a heart lifted up to see the reality of a world in decay, unwittingly dying more and more every day, trying to mend its wounds with the knives that caused them. The confession of a soul shaken to see the reality of a God who is fighting ferocious to save us from ourselves; to save me from myself. A God fighting to shake every sleeping-lion-Christian that’s been numbed into useless blue-pill blindness by the blue and white of an online idolatry, and the fluorescent red glow of three-hour-a-day-high definition sofa-couch-addiction that has ushered in the subtle deceit of a culture that is mindlessly being driven by the hell breathed agenda of the rebellious “prince of the power of the air”. This is the confession of a soul that’s been sleeping on God’s battlefield. A soul that’s forgotten that it wrestles not with flesh and blood.

The confession is this, I forget myself. Who I really am according to the gospel, that is, Who God declares me to be in Christ in spite of who I am in myself. The second I stop preaching the gospel to myself is the second that I start the sick cycle of earning and proving. Earning and proving to others and myself that I have what I can only accept as a gift, namely; true self worth.

The confession is this, I forget you. Yes you. I forget that the way I live every day affects you. I forget that we are all linked to one another in the end. That my every act of charity and my every act of contempt steer the streams of time a little bit more towards the Eternal Good or a little bit more towards darkness. And with the knowledge of the answer to the wars of the world and the wars of the human heart; the all-satisfying Savior, I allow myself to sit in silence and self-contemplation. To keep it all to myself. Even to be ashamed of it because it makes me feel “different”, God forbid.

The confession is this, I forget my God. This, worst of all, is my confession. For he is everything and without him I don’t just have nothing, I am nothing. Dust and ash without His love. His power. His Grace. His patience. Yes, he is great. Yes he transcends. Not just time and space. He transcends pain and heartache. He transcends all failure and all rage and all heartbrokenness and all loneliness. He is before all things and in all things and after all things. He is perfect wisdom and the essence of economy, wasting nothing to accomplish his ends. Not time, not space, not words. Every word he’s spoken to us is every word we need to know what we need to know to carry on until he makes all things new: that there is hope and meaning to and in the hardships of this life, namely Himself. But above all of this, he is simply love. And I confess to disbelieving this love is real in varying degrees every day of my life. This love is stunning and heart filling and mind changing and life defining. I confess to my own struggle to allow the light of this love to funnel through the pin-prick-sized-faith hole in my heart. Oh that He would tear it wider that I might know and experience more of His love, that I might see what really matters in life and spread it all over my world.

Lastly, I confess to forgetting to live with a sense of urgency. To saying the word tomorrow far too often when it comes to the call of my faith in Jesus. I confess to planning too carefully. To being so caught up in not failing, or should I say, in my need to excel above and beyond, that I end up never moving at all. I confess to being so consumed with displaying my own gifts, that I never get around to simply displaying The all-surpassing gift of God in Jesus Christ.

The stakes are just too high. Heaven and hell hang in the balance every moment. The Gospel must be preached. God still sits in His holy temple asking “whom shall We send, and who will go for Us”, and I’ve too often in my heart and with my actions said back to him, “I will go for me”. I confess this. Oh that God would set me free from my need for success and approval. That he would loose me of the burden of any regard for how men may measure me and my efforts. I must speak the name Jesus without worrying how I look doing it, or how it sounds coming out. I must do it because nothing else matters in the end, and really, nothing else matters now, other than this: that more and more would come to treasure Jesus above all other treasures.

Sleep now, lion, no more. All by grace.

carolsuzanne

Somewhere we know that without a lonely place our lives are in danger. Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, without distance closeness cannot cure. Somewhere we know that without a lonely place our actions quickly become empty gestures. The careful balance between silence and words, withdrawal and involvement, distance and closeness, solitude and community forms the basis of the Christian life and should therefore be the sujects of our most personal attention. Let us therefore look somewhat closer, first at our life in action, and at our life in solitude.

Henri J.M. Nouwen, Out of Solitude

I WAS DEAD

I've walked with Christ for years now and sadly it's so easy to get into a rut where the spiritual realties that once tasted sweet and fresh lose their flavor/become so familiar they drift away from soul stirring, worship inducing, holiness producing, reality and into the realm of dry conceptual long ago accepted facts. For me this always happens as a result of neglect. Neglect of God's Word, prayer, serving others, etc etc.

In my sanctification, God always has to do the heavy lifting for me. I say this not to dismiss personal discipline in pursuing Christ, but more to address the reality that I can be as disciplined as I want, but ultimately, it is the Holy Spirit that enlightens my heart and gives me spiritual tastebuds. In being disciplined in seeking the Lord, I am making myself available to His filling, not filling myself. Getting under the faucet, if you will.

All that to say, these are the first draft words to a song He gave me and has had on my heart this past week or so. It has been giving me fresh life and reviving me to simple awe and thankfulness. Praise God. It's from Ephesians 2. The truth: I was dead: but God. I was dead:but God. I was dead: but God.

----

EPH 2

2 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. 4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

----

my heart was dead and dark

your love sparked new life

my eyes were broken and blind

in love with a lie until You shined.

Pre

By no good of my own I've been saved.

I was deep in the debt of the grave.

You raised me to life and unchained me.

You raised me to life and remade me.

You raised me to life and embraced me as your own.

These days I'm still at war

needing more and more of You

but some day soon you'll split the sky

and I will fly home with you.

He pulled my dead soul from the depths of the sea

and there on the shores of eternity

He raised me to life and bid me go free

then beckoned me home to sit at His feast

My cup overflows and His favor flows down

once robed in such shame, He bestowed me a crown

Praise God O my soul for favor unearned

Praise God I'm living by life not my own

"The salt of the earth are people that are so satisfied with their reward in heaven, namely God, that they joyfully endure pain in the service of Jesus. The world is simply not going to be impressed with a church that is motivated by the same things that they are motivated by." - John Piper

He Loves Colors

I met up with one of my best buds yesterday at his alma mater Wheaton College to play some basketball and share a meal. He is taking a grad level systematic theology class and is an all around bright guy, so the conversation naturally got deep relatively quickly. We sat in a crowded and clanging college cafeteria.

"Why do you think God created colors?" he said. "Well, I guess because he likes variety" I replied, knowing that my answer left something to be desired.

"You know why I think He did it?", he said. “I think God created colors because He likes them. He delights in the vibrant. And He wants us to share in that. And, here's where my mind really explodes”, he said, leaning back in his chair, “maybe, just maybe, if God delights in something so simple as colors, He actually delights in us. Like, maybe He doesn't just put up with me, and have pity on me, but He really takes joy in me. Can't get enough. Maybe we are the ultimate variety and vibrancy"

I stared back blankly, trying to seem deep in thought as I processed.

"We know so little about the ultimate character of the infinite God at the end of the day" he said. We know He is love, we know He is justice, and we have all of the "omnis". That’s really about it. But I think we can infer, based on creation, that He is also a God who is full of pleasures."

I drove home processing the conversation and chose to ignore common sense and basic traffic laws by checking my twitter on I-355. The first thing I read was a tweet from a pastor I deeply respect. It read;

"Love for God and love for the things of this world cannot coexist. Period. (1 John 2:15)

I noticed that the tweet had created a bit of a stir in christian cyber space. People responding, asking pointed questions like; "What about my wife?" "What about my family, am I not supposed to love them?", and "so, should I feel guilty about enjoying the things of this world?"

1 John 2:15 reads: “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”

Woah. My guilty conscience started running. “The love of the Father is not in him??? That’s the last thing I want! And I know I love some things in the world a ton. I love food. I love my friends. I love to play sports, and to spend time resting at home when I'm done. I love my wife. I love good art!”

I’d had enough of this heavy stuff. I got home and turned on the TV.

But I woke up this morning still processing the conversation I’d had over lunch and the passage in 1John. I made myself a cup of coffee and pulled up a chair at the kitchen table where I now sit typing. I have been working my way through 1 Timothy and this morning I fell on this verse:

1 Timothy 4:4-5: For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made Holy by the word of God and prayer”

One of the things I have learned over time is that Scripture always interprets Scripture. Basically it means that the Bible never contradicts itself, so you always use the Scripture to come to an understanding of how seemingly contradictory passages are actually quite harmonious.

“Nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving…It is made holy…” hmmmm.

"Do not love the world…the love of the father is not in him…hmmmm."

"He loves colors…hmmm?"

My pen started moving in my journal, my mind scrambling for some resolve as to what the Scriptures are really saying here. Here’s what came out:

“By enjoying Ice cream, tv, sports, a cold beer, a home, my family, I should be drawn deeper and deeper into worship. Drawn to God, who is good and kind and generous. By enjoying these things, I should be neither enraptured nor enthralled by their goodness, but by His. I should be tasting and seeing His heart, that He loves color, vibrancy, flavor, and all good things and that this is why He created them, to showcase and share His pleasures. My worship and love for Him should grow deeper, not more shallow. At dinner, I should not exclaim, "I love steak!!", but rather "God is good!!".

Sadly our sinful hearts are prone to lesser, easier loves. When I drink a beer, I am prone to fall in love with a feeling, a taste, an experience, and in turn to look away from God and enter into sin. Still, beer, sex, food, and leisure, are not the problem. They are holy and good, made holy by the word of God and prayer. But I am depraved. I defile them when I shift my worship off of God the Creator and retreat into my own consumeristic pleasure in the objects themselves. They subtly drift from being life giving gifts and reflections of God’s kindness and joy, and become deadly slave masters and thieves of the true joy that can only be found in the worship of God the Creator.”

Even as I wrote I could hear the skeptics voice in my head. “What about drugs then? I can worship by smoking weed?” Then it hit me. There is no absolute line. Grey does exist. On a certain level, this is largely subjective, an issue of conscience. For some, alcohol will and should be taboo. Reason: it puts them in a frame of mind that can’t possibly draw them into worship, but rather pulls them away. It leads them not into thankfulness and worship, but to forgetfulness and indulgence. And without question, there are certain substances that rest firmly in the black in that they alter the human mind and body in such a way that you could never have the wherewithal of reverence, thankfulness, and worship while partaking, not to mention they are illegal and lead to an unbiblical dependance on something other than God to feel "ok".

Perhaps I digress here, but I felt it was important to say.

The point is this. God’s word clearly instructs us to enjoy and delight in His creation. After all, God Himself was the first to call it all “good”. And though broken at the fall, common grace has preserved a remnant of the original God injected goodness of the garden.

But the end goal of the enjoyment of creation is much deeper than it may seem: it is the glory of the Great I AM; The soul stirring, taste bud stimulating, eyelid peeling, ear drum slamming, thankfulness saturated, absolutely sensational heart soul and mind level worship of a vividly experienced and ultimately treasured Creator, who is to be equally experienced in the unseen places and quiet whispers of our souls, and in the deafening roars of a waterfall and the restful enjoyment of a meal in peace filled home.

So, do not love the world and the things in it. If you do, you are missing an unspeakably bigger opportunity to delight in the very heart of delight. And by putting creation over Creator you make yourself an idolater. But by all means, enjoy the gifts the Lord delights to give you. With thankfulness in your heart, rejoice that you have a God who delights in everything He has created and is glorified when you enjoy His goodness in them.

And this is not to be taken lightly. If our immediate response to all of this is “Well not me, I don’t struggle with loving creation…”, beware, for “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jer 17:9)

Oh that we would see God for all that He is and love Him unspeakably. Oh that we might find true joy that is unshakable and firm in Christ Jesus, the rock that is higher than high. Oh that we might come to see that He delights in us, and in turn, delight in Him alone.

“He’s a hedonist at heart. All those fasts and vigils and stakes and crosses are only a facade. Or only like foam on the seashore. Out at sea, out in His sea, there is pleasure, and more pleasure. He makes no secret of it; at His right hand are ‘pleasures for evermore.’

CS Lewis “The Screwtape Letters

Ps 16: 4,5,11

The sorrows of those who run after another God shall multiply.

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup.

You make known to me the path of life.

In your presence there is fullness of joy.

At your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 34:8

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good.

chandler on subtle drift from Jesus in our churches. good.

We're aware the assumption exists [ that our churches are already Jesus centered], and are burdened by it... Drift is always subtle, personally and corporately. We have to be vigilant to honestly evaluate the spiritual health of our community and culture. For instance, is your church a safe place to struggle? Is there an atmosphere of grace? Does the believer struggling with sin feel compelled by the culture of your church to wear a mask and promote an image? Or is there a healthy culture of confession and repentance? Is there a welcoming spirit of hospitality that exudes the hospitable nature of Christ to both the member and the guest? Is there an evident heart for the nations and missional living? Does your children's ministry promote morals and virtues apart of the reality and empowerment of the gospel? Are sermons laced with Jesus and the promises of his gospel, or is he strangely absent? Is there a culture and pervasive spirit of prayer, or are most decisions pragmatic in nature?

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read it all here:

http://thegospelcoalition.org/mobile/article/tgc/jesus-drenched-churches-matt-chandler-on-gospel-culture

brookemmiller-blog

why a kaleidoscope?

A kaleidoscope is full of ornate colors and shapes that are continually changing as the lens is twisted. It is intricately comprised of mirrors and an assortment of vibrant beads so when light shines through a florid masterpiece arises. Every twist and turn creates a new image, a new pattern, igniting a new awe within the onlooker.

tylermiller-blog

my wife has a blog. this is it. love her.

francisupdates-blog

Many of you have heard the story of what happened a year ago when we decided to do a conference here in San Francisco… In short, we were going to have hundreds of people show up in the inner city to pass out thousands of meals to the poor and homeless. A few days before the conference, the...

samgyorfi-blog

a tragic shooting, fear, and holiness all wrap together into a mess of glory. (beware: this one is long and involved)

early this morning there was a tragic shooting at a theater in aurora colorado. this shooting was about a mile or so from our church, and many of the kids in my youth group knew...

tylermiller-blog

my friend sam's thoughts on the shooting, which happened near his church. God is in control. Period. Lord, Give us faith to trust you when it hurts.

"I hate pride and arrogance!" Proverbs 8:13 What a monster of pride is man! How full of that cursed venom, is human nature! We cannot receive any grace or blessing from the Lord—but corrupt nature is prone to be proud of it—and to boast in it! No one is exempt from this. I appeal to your hearts. I refer to your experience. When your heart has been enlarged in prayer; when your soul has been carried out in humblings, meltings, longings, aspirings, etc.; when you have heard the Word with warm affections and heavenly joy; when your tongue has with sweetness and liberty, talked of Christ to others; when your hand has been stretched forth to do any good work; now in all these—have you not found pride very busy? Have not you been ready to stroke yourself with pleasure, and to reflect with delight: "Well, now the Lord loves me indeed! Surely He loves me better—now that I find myself so holy—and feel myself so heavenly!" But where is our precious Jesus all this while? We have looked at ourselves—until we have lost sight of Him! We have been admiring our vile selves for our graces—instead of being in raptures with Christ, who is altogether lovely, in whom all fullness of grace dwells, and out of whose fullness we receive grace upon grace! "The Lord detests all the proud of heart!" Proverbs 16:5

- william mason

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Lord help me.

the praise of the praiseworthy: the gospel

It's been a while here folks. But I have a rant.

I need the Gospel every hour. Every minute, of every day.

I've actually heard people say that the word "gospel" is over used. Gospel? Overused? Never! Abused, misunderstood, spoken in vain, almost certainly. But never overused. I'd love to see us try though.

The second I take my eyes off of the cross of Christ and the justification afforded me in Christ, and I literally mean the second, I lose sight of everything good. I plunge back into every vice Christ died to pull me from. Back into insecurity, back into pride, back into fear, back into license and law.

"The praise of the praiseworthy is above ALL rewards", says Captain Faramir to Frodo in Tolkien's The Two Towers. And how true it is. We live our lives chasing it. Entire lives are spent in pursuit of it. Climbing the unending ladder. Fighting to feel worthy, to feel beautiful, to feel skilled, to feel significant, to feel...justified.

This is why I need the Gospel. I have to have the praise of the praiseworthy, I will search it out...somewhere. In the Gospel alone I am counted worthy, beautiful,and loved by the ultimately praiseworthy Creator of all things praised.

Only at the cross is my exhausting pursuit of praise ended. Only at the cross is the nauseating sense that I am just not good enough run through. Only at the cross is the vague promise that the praise of man, that success, money, comfort, will bring me joy exposed for the dark and crippling lie that it is. Only at the cross can I rest myself.

Only with the cross in sight am I freed to create for the simple joy of creating, to work without fear of failing. Only in knowing that God adores me through the sacrifice of Christ, can I begin to truly find myself.

Give me Gospel. Every second. Every minute. Every word. Let us bless the Lord together. Let us remember all He has done. Let me tell you, and please please tell me, that we are redeemed, purchased, bought back from sin. That we are delighted in by a holy God through Christ. That our efforts can get us nowhere, and Christ already did the work. Let's sing and speak the works of God and find freedom and joy and love and peace and self forgetfulness. And if I may be so bold, preaching anything but Gospel seems a bit nearsighted to me. Only by the gospel is my heart melted into a holy longing for God that brings joy through obedience.

Take me to the cross. Please. I'm begging you.

God Justifies the UNGODLY. Romans 4:5

carolsuzanne

Wadded into our car-cocoon with the things we decided we can’t live without for the next 40 days, we listen as Genius selects old rock and roll from Scott’s new 4S. Grace Slick’s buttery voice reminds me to “remember what the dormouse says, keep your head.” There is something homey about these old...

tylermiller-blog

Mom and dad's blog during my dad's sabbatical. And I thought I was the writer in the family. love them.

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