When you told me this gap was best.
It was like being kicked out of my own home.
Being told that I couldn’t go back and sleep in the bed
That was your heartbeat and the folds of your shirt.
And I never realized how hard I held your hand when you were driving
Until I couldn’t anymore.
We cried and held each other in the parking lot of this stupid
You told me how scared you were because I was your best friend
And I told you I couldn’t live without you.
And god damn it how did it get to this point?
If we still love each other why aren’t we together and
Do you remember when we fell asleep on your floor
With my rollers in my hair?
Or the time when I drew pictures all over your hand
And called them love tattoos.
Or do you fucking remember how you saved my life
You saved me when I was too weak to carry on
And do you realize that the montage playing through my head
Makes it impossible to sleep.
I could name a thousand things I loved about you
But it still wouldn’t be enough to tell you
I tried to eat my favorite food but I can hardly taste a thing
Because my tongue swells up when I cry and so do my eyes
I can hardly see anything because the tears keep coming
And my eyes keep closing and maybe
They will close forever and then I wouldn’t
Have to see how you might be doing better without me.
You said you miss me and that your body is numb
That it is searching for its other half
Well I’m right here damn it so come fill my empty space
Because I feel like I’m an amputee who still feels my limb.
Or more so that my limb has been replaced with pain
I can’t stop smelling your cologne.
And realizing that you will never kiss me goodnight.
