no big deal vat-ever

“Ha! Vhat talents don’t i have!? Ich was an award winning reporter! Ich am a great dancer, I write music, und Ich can swallow an entire banana whole. No big deal., whatever…”

“No way… So what kind of music do you write, ‘dance’?” That was what you would ask normally, right, dance or house or something? Or was it rock? He never knew with these humans, they were so unpredictable.

@uber-famous

“Eh, it’s like… Really inspirational stuff, you know?” He brought his voice down to a whisper. “Really important. You have to help people, you know?”

#why do porn blogs keep following me??

.

havilland-deactivated20161024

“Vell you better be careful, this face is insured for ten thousand dollars…”

Bruno stopped to think for a moment. His curiosity was piqued at the very least. “Vhat’s it for, anyways?”

❛ For peeling off faces insured for exorbitant amounts of money so I can make flesh masks and claim the cash for myself. ❜

"Vell, looks like ve have a d-grade comedienne here. At least Ich hopes so…"

#havilland

“Vell, obviously…. I mean, who hasn’t?”

“‘Yes’? ” A sigh. “Any talents?”

@uber-famous

“Ha! Vhat talents don’t i have!? Ich was an award winning reporter! Ich am a great dancer, I write music, und Ich can swallow an entire banana whole. No big deal., whatever...”

“Vhat, you mean like, ever? Or within the last ten minutes…”

“Ever. ”

@uber-famous

“Vell, obviously…. I mean, who hasn’t?”

“Have you drank alcohol or had drugs?”

“Vhat, you mean like, ever? Or within the last ten minutes…”

fantasylandmermaid

Brüno’s parents

fantasylandmermaid

Brüno + tropes

#;muse

“You are so over dramatic! It’s no big deal, vhatever… Besides, Ich don’t even do it anymore. I’m trying to be like, a good father.”

jeanieisms

“Dramatic? I’m CONCERNED for my SAFETY.” Jeanie crosses her arms over her chest, suddenly defensive. “Oh my god, you’re a FATHER, too? God help your child.” She curls a hand in her hair. “How old is your kid?”

“Hey. Mein child is doing just wonderful!” Bruno gave her an unimpressed smirk. What right did anyone have to assume he was anything but a wonderful parent? Hadn’t she heard him. He’d given up the coke.

His brows furrowed at the next question as he took a moment to think about the answer. “Ich think he’s like, 2… Or 7…. Vell, he could be 10. He could be a midget… I mean, za mother never told me.”

#jeanieisms

borat-sagdiyevv-blog

Continued from x @uber-famous

“ You a– look like my mother, Kabyuvlav Sagdiyev.

—She is 43. ”

Was he trying to call Brüno ugly? Impossible! Nobody could think that…

“Well she must look 19 zen! Ich slept with Milli from Milli und Vanilli. So vhatever….”

#boratsagdiyevv

rpfunstuff

Send me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) for a bad pick up line.

“Ich think they just give it out….I’ve not snorted anything for three months so Ich am not up to date. But why you seem so uptight about this?”

jeanieisms

“Give it out? Oh my god, that sounds TERRIFYING. Wait – Wait, you’re a DRUG USER?” Jeanie gasps, taking a slight step back. “I’m straight, okay, I don’t want to be surrounded by STONERS when I’m dancing. It’s bad enough I’m surrounded by them in school. Stoners and ASH PEOPLE.”