“I bet I could beat you at CoD.”
“I bet you could. I’ve never even played. I can always pretend though, if you really want to beat someone that bad.”
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@ughcleo-blog
“I bet I could beat you at CoD.”
“I bet you could. I’ve never even played. I can always pretend though, if you really want to beat someone that bad.”
@cayluhb: someone send 911! my sister doesn't want to text me anymore and she's the only person who i like 2 talk 2 #imverysad
@cleometric: @cayluhb can't send 911 if you're not willing to branch out and talk to others
“I didn’t buy a car. My mum’s card digits were stolen probably. Unless my brother bought one. But he already has one. I’m actually pretty amused by the fact that she thinks it’s me. It was a huge fight on me getting my license in the first place, so why would someone who hates driving buy a second car?”
“Gotcha. I just figured that was some lame excuse. But that’s too bad, y’know, that you didn’t even get a killer car out of it or something. Maybe if you had the car they bought you wouldn’t hate driving so much?”
“Your parents have fucked multiple times, Cleo. And I will always remind you of that. But, thank you, I might take you up on your hospitality.”
“At least I didn’t walk in on it. So happy to hear about your mom’s new boyfriend, by the way. Sounds like a real family man, I’m really looking forward to seeing him at the next family party. Be my guest, we even have smoothies.”
“How about we both get massages? Better now?”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re awful at bargaining. Never sell cars, my friend, but that sounds wonderful to me, as long as I get mine first.”
“I’ll never understand people who light fireworks the day after Fourth of July. It’s over, people are trying to sleep for work and summer classes tomorrow.”
“I think it’s pretty much the same as when people light off fireworks on January 2. They’re just too excited and can’t wait 365 days. Also extremely uncalled for.”
“My mom has officially introduced me to her new boyfriend. And by introduced I mean they were both butt-naked and she was on the kitchen counter while he was going to town. All I wanted was to make a fucking smoothie, not see old people almost break a hip while banging.”
“I’m going to have to ask you to never ever talk about your mothers sex life in front of me ever again. I prefer to think of all adult figures as virgins and that’s how I’d like it to stay. In the meantime you know where I live and you know we have extra rooms and enough adult beverages to make you ever forget what just happened.”
“Noooo Cleo, I want a massage. That’s mean.”
“What? You didn’t just get off a seven hour flight. I mean, it’s the least you could do. To think I thought we were friends.”
“Just got a phone call saying I spent too much money on a new car. Thinking this means my mother needs a lawyer and to cancel her credit card. Anyways, hi, I’m Tay.”
“What kind of car did you buy? I’m hoping it was at least worth it.”
“Well, I have a daughter so… Yeah, most people aren’t into that.”
“That’s cool. I’m pretty good with kids. Honestly if people are judging you cause of that then fuck them. You’re doing something they can’t and it doesn’t seem like you’re really complaining about it.”
“Can that cuddling include a massage and maybe a nap?”
“Oh, I would just love a massage. That was so sweet of you to offer, really. How did you know I’ve had a stressful weekend?”
“Yes, of course! I dunno, honestly… Probably because people don’t like to hang out with me?”
“Wh- What do you mean? Are you new here? I mean I know some people here are a bit overwhelming but they mean well, honestly. I don’t think anyone would reject having a good time with someone.”
“God Cleo, I missed you so much that my pillow was wet every night with my TEARS”
“Poor baby. I promise to give you enough rum and food and maybe if you’re lucky you’ll get a cuddle to make up for all the tears I caused.”
“The only good thing you missed was me.”
“You’re right, I did. And I’m sure you were just distraught with not having me around all the time, am I right? Who am I kidding, really?”
“You’re officially my favorite person… Mm, I don’t really have a clue. I wasn’t even there.”
“I was unofficially your favorite before, right? I feel like we’re always on the same page from the socks in the shower to not being at a party. Why don’t we hang out more?”
“I guess someones eye got stabbed, no big deal.”
“I’m fighting off a few Fetty Wap jokes, cause honestly I feel bad for the guy. How does someone’s eye get stabbed? I’m honestly very grateful the worst of my weekend was slurred Sweet Caroline now.”
↳ instagram:@ughcleo uploaded a new photo
@ughcleo: missing this side of my family ever since i left. @ariellewinters @savannahwinterss #fourthofjuly