❛ i don’t have time for a relationship. do you know how many books i need to read? ❜
❛ i think it’s hilarious when people tell me i’m laid back because i’ve pretty uch been screaming nonstop in my head since like fifth grade ❜
❛ coming out of my cage and i’ve been doing just… not good ❜
❛ i’m a piece of shit, but it’s fine ❜
❛ how i am supposed to have a lit summer with $4.65 ❜
❛ i’m a huge fan of space; both outer and personal ❜
❛ and to your left, you can see me, ruining everything ❜
❛ any full cast musical number can be a solo if you believe hard enough ❜
❛ kinda hungry, kinda horny, kinda tired, kinda wanna get a tattoo ❜
❛ no amount of under eye concealer can cover up how tired i am of this world ❜
❛ i’m ready for autumn, but not autumn responsibilities ❜
❛ today i’m wearing a lovely shade of i slept like shit so don’t piss me off ❜
❛ i’m not making enough boys nervous ❜
❛ i really want my last words to be ‘hey, wanna see a dead body?’ ❜
❛ don’t you hate it when money goes away when you spend it? ❜
❛ i’m always a slut for conspiracy theories ❜
❛ i wanna make a diss track about myself ❜
❛ true friendship is bullying your friends into watching the tv shows you watch ❜
❛ i’d be such a good girlfriend/boyfriend/s.o. you’re all missing out ❜
❛ sorry i was late. i can’t conceptualize time. ❜
❛ fuck what the aliens said ❜
❛ sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments ❜
❛ if outfit repeating was a crime i would be sentenced to life without parole ❜
❛ does anyone have ten thousand dollars they don’t want? ❜
❛ i want a sugar daddy, but i know nicki minaj wants me to be independent ❜
❛ i stress about stress before there’s even stress to stress about ❜
❛ i don’t have plans for tonight or the rest of my life if anyone wants to have a drink or get married ❜
❛ tbh sometimes you just gotta let me be dramatic because i will get over it, but let me be dramatic first. ❜
❛ painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk ❜
❛ if we date, you have to hold my hand in the car. no exceptions. ❜
❛ in an unfortunate development, i am now awake ❜
❛ you’re hella bomb, hella cute, and anyone would be hella lucky to have you ❜
❛ kinda hurt, kinda offended, kinda not planning on saying anything about it ❜
❛ trying to embarrass me is so unnecessary. i do it to myself just fine. ❜
❛ if you don’t think i’m a princess then you’re 100% right. i’m the fucking queen. ❜
❛ fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october. ❜
❛ lana may have fucked her way up to the top, but i am bullshitting my way up to the middle ❜
❛ i don’t want to get involved in the drama, i just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened ❜
❛ so… do you want to watch 49.7 hours of parks and recreation with me? ❜
❛ i hit rock bottom like every two weeks ❜
❛ can someone please be proud of me? like fuck, i’m trying. ❜
❛ give me a few days to overthink about it ❜
❛ can i sell my feelings on ebay? i don’t want them anymore. ❜
❛ i’m really fucking sarcastic for someone who’s about to start crying most of the time ❜
❛ when does hibernation start because i am 100% participating in that ❜
❛ don’t you hate it when you wake up and you’re awake ❜
❛ i lowkey just wanna make sure you’re happy as fuck ❜
❛ i literally have no idea what i’m gonna do if i don’t end up rich ❜
❛ you know you’re in deep when you love listening to them talk and you get attached to their voice ❜
❛ no offense, but when is it my turn for someone to be in love with me ❜
❛ i’m an asshole with a really big heart ❜
❛ i have to be funny because being hot is not an option ❜
❛ can i apologize in advance for basically everything i will ever do ❜
❛ okay that’s cool, but consider the following: snuggling with me until i fall asleep ❜
❛ please handle me with care. i am a very sleepy and soft creature. ❜
❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk. ❜
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