Sweet Seals For You, Always
Peter Solarz
blake kathryn
trying on a metaphor
tumblr dot com
d e v o n
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
h
we're not kids anymore.
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taylor price
almost home
will byers stan first human second
Origami Around
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if i look back, i am lost
Sade Olutola
wallacepolsom
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Ukraine
seen from Italy
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Ukraine
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from Philippines
seen from Malaysia
seen from Netherlands
seen from Spain
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from Ukraine
seen from Estonia
@yrwolfscute
parts 1-2
part 3
and this is the true story of my monday afternoon
it frew up :'(
I'd like to thank op because I have been using these as reaction images since I first saw this post in 2022 and I had lost track of their origin but now I am grateful to the universe for the chance to say bless u
imagining someone in the world making use of my 4pm on a monday doodles is sick as hell
Why is pet play always dogs anyway
Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.
Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog
Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry
When I can’t shut my brain off work mode and I begin to fall asleep, I start to imagine customers coming into my bedroom ready to check out. I call them “ghost customers”.
im going to fix my entire life
When?
Like Um. later
Instead of a stoic hero and a chatty villain or a chatty hero and a stoic villian imagine if they’re both chatty. Just, the villian trying their best to kill the hero while the two of them have a in-depth discussion about their opinion of pumpkin spice
Villian: *shoots laser* No but seriously orange is a really fun color
Hero, dodging: but your entire room? I’m not painting my entire room orange
Villain: *stabs at the hero and misses* well then why did you ask my opinion on paint colors if you’re not going to listen
The Princess Bride
Holy shit
truly few things instantly put me in a bad mood more than humidity
WHY is the fucking AIR out here TOUCHING ME
get OFF
found this three year old draft buried in my files. is it funny? I don't remember
no no you’re on to something don’t leave this in the notes! (tags from @misscrazyfangirl321)
life is better when you're not malnourished btw
Tried to tip a tumblr blog at 1am and it was such a suspicious transaction it immediately put a full fraud freeze on my account
Fortunately, banks no longer just ask 'did you make that transaction' they want to make sure you weren't scammed into making that transaction and 5mins after their call will give away all your money anyway.
This is an honest to goodness life saving movement and I cannot be happier banks are adopting it
Unfortunately, it meant I had to have the most embarrassing financial call of my life
-
Me: Ah yeah I was just trying to tip a tumblr blog
Cash: right and were you directed there by a Facebook link? An Instagram advert?
Me: no I was just on tumblr...on purpose
-
Caah: and this person asked you for money?
Me: oh no they just had a funny story, which happened to be about money and I thought, "wouldn't it be funny if I tipped them"
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Me: * covering a reblog by reblog update on the adventures my mutual was having *
Cash: okay I don't think that can actually happen though..
Me: It might not have, but i was happy to tip them just because it was funny
-
Cash: and how well do you think you know this person?
Me: *considers explaining how much I know about a beloved mutual without ever knowing their name or face* ... I have no idea who this person is
I think in the end Cash decided there was no saving me from myself
Executioner girl that when she lifts up her axe to behead you goes off balance giving you one last panty shot on your way to the afterlife
She goes "(≧益≦) KYAAAA!!" and blushes and chops your head off
i think i just witnessed a miracle
We do not do elf of the shelf but our house does have borrowers. Penny knows that if she leaves a mess out at night the borrowers will take that as a sign that they can have it and take it into the walls to build their homes
This teaches her to out her stuff away at the end of the night or I chuck it out and also sometimes she wakes up and yells "HEY ELEVES I LEFT YOU SOME STUFF!" And it is hilarious
Penny: THE ELVES HAVE ONIONTIZED
My mom on FaceTime: ???
Me: I had to explain to Penny how the borrowers are part of the elf union and so they go to North Pole the last 3 weeks of the year so no one ever has to work too much over time and that's why they haven't taken mommy's wrapping paper or scissors or anything else I've left out... shes trying to explain the elf union to you.
Penny: THEY GET PAID EXTRA CAUSE OF THE ONION
I'm in tears 🤣🤣🤣
baseball different from how i remember it
glad they added new maps to baseball
emperor kuzco was clearly gay
hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit
Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.
He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.
Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.
In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.
So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.
In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.
Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:
holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit
This is fucking insane
I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted
World Heritage Post
UNIVERSAL BASIC INCOME NOW!
RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE!
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO AFFORD HAPPINESS!
abolish wage labor
socialize healthcare, utilities, and workplaces
I'm sick and tired of trying to reform the capitalist system that is failing us
i have a suggestion
Harrison Wood Hsiang
