So this time I did everything right! Made sure that my yeast was in order, the water was warm enough, added more than enough sugar, let it brew and activate before kneading in the rest of the flour, kept the dough bowl warm so the yeast wouldn't die from cold, kept the dough warm and toasty and covered while it rises, gave it plenty of time to rise, and followed every single instruction to a tee!
The bread is still fucked up. It's dead and it sucks.
Lmao replying this under my aquarium blog because I've been having the exact same issue with the yeast I used for my "akvaariokilju" CO2 system, where the yeast is supposed to eat away sugar to make alcohol and CO2.
Tips for waking up yeast in cold climate. This assumes you know the basic procedure but are facing weird issues and the yeast just won't activate
use warm enough water. Preferably measure the temperature. If not possible, test the temperature with your mouth, NOT with your fingers. The fingers will tell worse lies than the mouth. Use water that feels warm in your mouth
pre-warm the cup you use to wake the yeast up. A small amount of water will cool almost immediately in a cool cup, and the yeast will just keep snoozing
Find a warm place to put the cup, such as on a radiator (it you have a type this is safe), or use a warm water bath
Wait for the foam on form on the cup. If this takes a long time, make a new batch of yeast. Something has gone wrong
Look at your yeast immediately after stirring it in the water. It should cloudy up the water nicely. The exact color ofc depends on the amount of yeast and water you use but after you've failed and succeeded often enough, you can tell the difference between likely-to-succeed and likely-to-fail batches
Illustration: identical cups with the same amount of water (50 g), sugar (7g) and yeast ("wrong end of a Savonia tea spoon" - less than a gram).
The cupful at left hand side was made according to this instruction and is likely to succeed. The cupful at right hand side was made using "handwarm" water and is not likely to succeed but I'm giving it some but small chance of success.
(The amounts are what I use for my aquarium CO2 starter, if you are wondering xD)
30 minutes later. Just as expected
Left - nice foam, some yeast on top of the thing
Right - looks worse than in the beginning. Yeast non-active, fell the bottom of the cup

















