micah van hove

the internet blog micah van hove +poems

[umuima]

I made a short film with Werner Herzog in the Peruvian Amazon. Now I’m embarking on a feature film, this time in Colombia. We are ready, and we want you to join us.

https://wefunder.com/snake.oil.song

[umuima]

Click here to support Micah in the jungle w Werner Herzog organized by Micah Van Hove

I've been accepted to accompany the legend himself Werner Herzog in Peru for 11 days in May for a filmmaking expedition with 40+ other international filmmakers. At the end of the 11 days we will have each made a film. This is a huge opportunity for me to continue my education in film alongside on...

Hey Tumblr, help me get the Peru to make a film with Werner Herzog? <3

[umuima]

75% of the way there. Help take us home, #internet.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/umuima/shadow-of-a-gun-a-feature-film/posts/1616554

[umuima]

I’m making a new movie called Shadow of a Gun and we’re very close to our goal with 4 days left. We just need one more push! <3

[umuima]

Cancer, like a wave

Cancer, like a wave, We're just like that, she said Like what? Insecure, fearful Her short brown hair reveals A blessing in disguise A revelation, irradiation You'll make it through As i almost cry in my sushi Forgotten how beautiful you are Your eyes so deep, even if your boyfriend Is a scientist, you're calm as a cucumber

[umuima]

needles

thinking of her spine and the tiny little ones that are going in mine

tried to put my head down to work and it came up stiff, want so badly to call her on the phone and it do it all again

but i am here drinking magnesium and getting acupuncture from half-baked half-asian imports with massage chairs in their waiting rooms and dark eyes that invite you in to the wretched worth of the world

[umuima]

jewels

i push people in ways they'd rather not be pushed by stating the obvious to me and there they all are, in a line, frustrated at giving me their trust for I betrayed when first I got a chance to cut them down for not being in excellence wanting, calling for the same

success begets success and that’s why now, they manufacture their company only those jewels who shine back at them only those jewels who shine back at them not those covered in a thin silt, those that have been   buried for sometime those that have been buried for sometime

and who am I? to join the ranks of those,   enabled, flanking smiles the odd inability to forget about the clock, our mortality, our greed, our blindness, our coward, our crow, our endless bits of information we’d never let you know

for the strangest feeling that of letting go, a barbed wire caught in the fist, a band-aid to peel, when the world is ending I think of her and know   just how to feel when the world is ending I think of her and know   just how to feel

[umuima]

a brother

on the verge of crying every time i think about an old best friend and how much things are different now

i can't run into his arms embrace him with the fire of the future instead i pat his back and tell him he's a brother

it strikes me hard only when i think of it how much of our guts were spilled on the same bored nights

setting ideas to flame projecting somewhere out into the dark hills that surround our old town

it's a box in the sand and we locked it kept it secret and poured our passions to dust

i gave you a look before you got in the car or maybe i looked away i couldn't bear to look, probably behind both eyes i've seen the sad side and it's never present except always

we live in rain and spite a coat wondering why we ever left that place it was all we had and it was here things are different now

[umuima]

Train conductor

Train conductor Looks at a kid Too young to know He's making too much noise

The same kid in 10 years Is lost riding the rail Lost in domestication The conductor looks down on him Like scum Old enough to know The real world is cold Polite, quiet, no feather of noise Can ripple this lake of habits

A family rides together and a young girl Falls in love with a boy she sees on the train The grandfather who always is yelling About his damned bad back Frustrated to red forehead By how old he's become

[umuima]

sick sick sick

sick of everything every word written, every play every chance of characters the drama, the drama! why do we dwell so hard on these minute details of our lives, clinging to memory like seafoam, destroyed and being destroyed

sick of all creation, simplified, simplified simple is beautiful simplified is not

i have hatred in my heart for what i’ve seen of this world and overflowing love for the luck I’ve had but i can’t live in a place with no air, nor can i solve myself for you in mountains of madness, 

are we famous yet? "a distorted reality is a necessity to be free"

[umuima]

wrestle

i bend down to stretch and see an ant carrying the body of another ant

and i zoom out of myself and think of yesterday morning when we held each other and wept all morning wept and slept, and wept some more i dried her eyes with my fingers and my mouth and felt her sunlight spine as she cried and we cried and i cried

i, the stupid man i have become closed like a port of a border town if i think about it for even a moment the thought of never touching this spine again kissing every vertebrae like it was the last time i make it look easy, well she makes it look hard both of us possibly over-compensating perhaps,

a dusted tome from which we read, words in circles; themes from which grasp we are never fully clear of specious probable lies, an innocence to grope if only we made love we would have stayed together if only we made love we would have stayed together

to the brink we go and i hold her sobbing frame and look out the window the succulents she watered so i’d see the run down the wall, still dripping where the water comes in putting on display exactly what i would be missing by having her slightly by my side

into a contest he goes to wrestle with himself, mostly few saving throws, but his almost wretched confident feeling still burns in the face of utter defeat and it is what burns now he cannot remember words only feelings, gestures, the eyes she looks so tired and beautiful right now. never so emotionally drained she needed to sleep in my bed while i made her food she did not eat and the strawberries in a white bowl by her side untouched

and i try to lay beside her to hold her and shape myself to her curled drained body, almost perfection with a white sheet over her i kept trying to put the white sheet over us and she pushed it off, none of my tricks are working now this is it, this time she says i can feel it

[umuima]

she taught me

she taught me how to dance at least, how to bring it out into the damning public to remember not to care about that stare and when i met her, that’s what magnetted me to her that innocence, that simplicity she embarrassed me, flushed my face at the dimly lit concert and following me outside drunk as hell i found it very cute, but wasn’t trying anything i don’t know if it was on my mind or if i knew yet how hard i would love her

but i know i did think as we walked and looked for the bats how adventurous this one showing up at 5am to do sound for me cutting my hair i loved her already and wanted to pull her aside and kiss her right there what if I had? what if i had avoided this slow start? she was so kind to me laying on our backs at the swing by her house i told her all my self-doubts and she lifted me up and still i was afraid to kiss her afraid to kiss her until we fell asleep like magnets, on her floor together finding her lips in the morning 

and what a smile beginnings bring

[umuima]

the mediator

the mediator as a drummer keeping time like a clock on the inevitable creative dispute two daggers thrusting excellence at each other like brash citizens, subjugating, becoming bridgeless, selfish islands, hoarding plenty sting my hands and fuck my art! silence listen talk some sense into them. they just don’t see how to help each other they don’t see what gets each other off and why would they? they never talked, only chimed in as if telling someone something was a sin. Rinsed; repeated; how to win? a pleasant afternoon war picking cards out of a closet splitting head basically, do you love yourself enough to smother the love of another?

[umuima]

conference

i talk to myself in hopes to finding new answers under the same stones hoping i missed something the first time i turned them

but when it’s the sixtieth time it’s probably not there. and i should look somewhere else altogether

perhaps though, it’s not the looking searching a room for something   i thought i lost but seeing something new where nothing has changed

we are putting our fears on each other the name of the band finally makes sense dirty projectors pulling hair and making fist

look at yourself, fuck. you act like your best isn’t enough you act like they keep you down when you burn time to avoid life

shakespeare finally calls my name, all of love’s labors lost despite the incorrect use of my apostrophe it’s the best way I can describe it

and so, not withstanding understanding i will simply stop using my now shattered muscles to lift a rock of this magnitude simply start over and run for shade again

[umuima]

driving fast the pedal

Driving driving fast the pedal Releases pain The pain of happy voices Murmured in a wine glass Local bar and pretend to Fight the jukebox Sitting next to admiration Admonishing what you're Seeing, nothing special But special enough to hold A placeholder in the heart That matters, the word From high valley And smashing a glass and Put the shards to his neck Barely scraping you Feel, can get away with anything You are protected in a capsule Moving fast and steel over wheel Pushing pills on rear view Stopping only to see The carnage of nature  Engine sounds, familiar guts  Splayed out across concrete  infinite and forever is all  it can be 

[umuima]

strong

was always strong as a kid forcing others to be out there on a whim like me, hurt by love & other accidents shelled and shocked,

some spoiled by the dance floor others gas lit stone faced tumbling into ineffable madness she screams my name each night

used to be lucid, charmed and harmed spoiling delight for nothing and no one's dirty habits no smoke would float my way on my watch,

not without an arrogant monologuing did you pass by my house, out of love, i didn’t want you to die so young, and i saw that spinstered trajectory so well written in the high school novels we proposed in opening paragraphs to stand up for what we are,

as dirty and delightful as we are, can’t carry a tune except the tongues we wore, sliding amongst greatness and figuring ourselves a genius, piling upon piles and milestones   recorded to Mini DV in hopes of Mini glory, the penetrated rules of this place we loved, this golden room where sex was still new. where he grabbed my neck and angrily showed himself to the world, the stagefright necklace of pointing poetry

observations are culling the ones I love, presiding like strong winds upon fruitful harvest words pumping blood out like stones in forest fire, always leaving us hanging around his neck, his signature etched in beige monolith, worship his spirit and smile like he was the last survivor of sediment wisdom, accruing like interest unseen, a mountain built on a slogan and a smile so wild and true we knew we had to know it up close, so true we knew we had to have a handful of that rainbow, though greatness is admirable and leaves us stunned in chattered silences, how much of an asshole do you have to be to change the world? how many friends and chats walking to your car will you give up in haste for better marching towards a goal hung from high mountain perched unlike the monks stoic and priceless in their castles of raked sand following gutters to peace and a simplicity not yet found anywhere but the mind of a man so wanting that he made us want it too -- so much we wanted it all to be true.

[umuima]

Best he ever looked!

Best he ever looked! Worst he ever felt. Most he's ever had! Least he's ever known Mind blown. Literally -- Shreds. Confetti waving In a bookshelf dusty Confederate flag dollar bills Falling like snow Hope you're alright -- Hope torn. Meniscus mirror Pangs and bags under his eyes, Calling himself a martyr Fuck that. Especially after What you just said -- Slowly getting sick of Underachieving underdogs No horse in the race No skin in the game! You Forget -- who was there When you fell? Splendor, A snake too smart to see Inscribing kind words to me Spigot! How dare you freeze Breaking hair tips icicles Launching thee! For sport, For science -- last laughing The bass cleft of Giants Sexy to himself Horrid to the heart, God is there inside And blasting apart!