Tour of a haunted mansion
The place is beautiful, majestic, perfect. Never say otherwise, lest you inadvertently offend the house.
The cobwebs have to stay. They were here long before you and will be here long after you. Destroy the spidersâ home and they destroy yours.
The chandeliers have to go. Remove all things in the house that might tempt one to hang oneself.
All mirrors, especially cracked ones, must be covered with a white cloth at all times. Never succumb to the temptation to peek into the glass, even if you can see a human figure behind the cloth.
Donât look out windows at night. However, donât draw the curtains closed, for it would be unwise to provide such a tempting hiding place.
The basement is not your territory. Do not, for whatever reason, intrude upon its inhabitants. If you must, placate the voices with an offering at the door, as long as itâs something you can afford to never see again.
The doll in the attic is your owner, not the other way around. Bow to her and shower her with compliments. When visiting her to pay respects, never close the door behind you lest it never opens again.
Never wander the gardens. If you must go outside, take a ball of yarn with you⊠and your will.
There is no one walking across your rooftop, whispering for you to come join them. Itâs just rain and wind.
If you must place your shoes beside your bed, donât point them towards you if you donât want any visitors. Point them away from you so you can easily run away.
If worst comes to worst, leave offerings on the kitchen table overnight. Anything from food to flowers to dead birds you cat caught will do, but the blood of your children would be ideal.
Donât answer the door. Itâs a trap.
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