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faux main ; '01 ; they/he/it ; latine about + stances | prn.cc | rentry
— Mogai ABCs Event | Day 02 – Letter B
Body What's your relationship to your body? How does it affect how you identify?
This is going to be very hard to explain, and I’ve discussed these topics before, but I’ll give it a go.
I don’t see my body as myself. What I mean by that is my body isn’t “me”. “Me” is inside my body, metaphorically and literally. I inhabit my body, I pilot it and use it to experience the physical world, but it isn’t “me”. It IS mine, of course, and I’ve customized it and shaped it to be a reflection of myself – with its limitations due to being, well, human – but alas it is separate from me. If you’re more spiritual you might understand this as me being “the soul” and yeah, that works. That being said, my brain is separate from me as well; it’s functions and the unconscious are not under my domain. My brain and myself are essentially coworkers inside this “meat suit” we’re in. Sometimes friendly, sometimes at odds, sometimes so opposite I get panic attacks. Everything I have no control over in my psyche is my brain, and the rest is all me, and the brain is a part of me BUT it is also more connected to the body. I genuinely cannot explain myself any better…
Taking all that into consideration, it affects everything. My everyday life, my connections to others, the way I experience the world and existence on itself. I find myself being a perpetual observer of life. There’s a layer of disconnect that is always there, sometimes lesser sometimes stronger. Much of it can be explained by my psychology, sure, yet I’ll never be able to shake the feeling that it runs way deeper than one could think, even myself. It’s a multilayered topic, and it probably explains a lot about myself and everything I talk about.
Alas, this is not negative, not at all ! It can be, but on its own it is simply a fact of life for little odd me. Despite what one might assume due to me being trans, I never hated my body to begin with. Being uncomfortable with aspects of it has never meant I hate it, and I actually do love it. I cherish it, I take joy in modifying it and shaping it. I love to dress it up, I love to make it look nice for myself. I love that it’s mine and only mine. I’ve harmed it and I’ve healed it. I’ve wanted to escape from it and I’ve found refuge inside of it.
It’s complicated, but so is life.
Thanks for reading ! Event by @dragonpride17 | Dividers .
— Mogai ABCs Event | Day 01 – Letter A
Alterhumanity Are you alterhuman? How does this affect your life and identity?
I feel a bit antiquated when discussing not-human terminology because I found myself during a time where everything was under otherkin and such. So, yeah, I am technically alterhuman, but I consider it more of an umbrella term and not an identity on itself. I tend to prefer to use other words for myself, despite being by definition part of the community.
This also ties into the fact I have a complicated relationship with humanity and being human as a whole. I’ve found several “terms” that explain this phenomenon pretty well, but at the end of the day it’s best explained as this: I’m not human and a human at once. My humanity is nonhuman and my nonhumanity is human. I’m shaped like a human, very loosely. To me, alterhumanity is entirely tied to my spiritual beliefs; I believe in past-lives and the multiverse, and most of the connections I feel to my ‘types is due to an innate sense of belonging, or a feeling of familiarity, a “this was me at some point” or “this is me somewhere” level of resonance with them.
As such, being alterhuman is deeply intertwined with my identity and my selfhood as a whole. The way I interact with others, the way I experience my gender and sexuality, everything. I strongly believe I wouldn’t be the same nor would I BE myself in all its glory if I wasn’t alterhuman. I’ll give some examples that come to mind: my personal experiences with DPDR and my disconnect from reality have shaped how I view existence, and it can be matched with how I view my humanity. My identity as a gay man (who isn’t a man to begin with) is intrinsically tied to being a dogboy, which in turn is tied to what kind of gay man I am. My presentation and any kind of visual aspects of self-expression will always be tied to my kins, even down to my favorite colors. Plus, as someone whose self is best explained by concepts, “embodying” them is just second nature to me; there’s a bit of everything of me in everything, which I know sounds redundant, but that’s exactly how I can best put it into words.
So, yes to everything. There’s an alterhuman filter to my entire life that is crucial to understanding myself, and the other way around: learning about myself explains my nonhumanity perfectly. If you (the reader) would like to know more about my experiences, here’s my organized rentry and here’s my blog specifically for terminology I vibe with, as I don’t want to makes this any longer !
Thanks for reading ! Event by @dragonpride17 | Dividers .
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hang on everyone the binary trans person has something to say about a term/belief that actively harms intersex and nonbinary people let's sit down and listen
everything you see on tumblr is biased towards the perspectives of the types of people who post a lot on tumblr. this is essential to remember
some here are sooo intelligent and sooooo bright and so good with words and they have awesome takes and then. they fall for shiny new made-up binaries. incredibly sad to see. it’s like a loved one with a mostly healthy lifestyle getting into hard drugs
getting an evil spirit put inside you without your knowledge or consent is basically a classic childhood experience
If youre a closeted person somewhere out there thinking "I want to transition but it would be less progressive/unique/countercultural for me to be that gender instead of this one" please know that you are a real person not a character in a narrative and cant live your life based on what is good media representation. You are real you can only be yourself and theres no moral weight to any identity over another
Liberal transphobes enjoy positioning trans identities as regressive compared to cis queerness or like non-transitioning transness or anything else they can leverage to make transphobia look progressive and I think its easy to absorb that message subconciously. But in real life we just are what we are and no ranking of validity can change the fact that you have an identity that is NOT chosen and is just your unchangeable truth. Not only should you not have to live a life dictated by what is most countercultural to identify as or whatever but also: being trans is extremely countercultural and feminist and leftist to begin with and theyre only trying to convince you otherwise bc theyre bigots
"Why cant you be a feminine man society hates feminine men 🥺" and "all the butch lesbians are becoming men we need u 🥺" = stay in the closet for the noble purpose of being an abstract representation point in my new york times opinion column. You wont actually be a gnc cis person youll be a closeted trans person who uses the wrong words but I need you to do that because i hate you
Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.
you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.
just wanted to inform everyone that when we say that all this infighting is only this present and intense online, it is a factually correct statement.
i went to a kiki ball two nights ago. the DJ was a plus size trans woman. the announcers where a drag queen and a black trans woman. there was an equal number of trans men, women and nonbinary people on the jury. there was a bracket for every single identity for each type of category (face, runway, etc) as well as mixed brackets. there were at least two wheelchair users at the show, and it was indeed a very accesible venue overall. everyone looked different, both attendees and participants. i got compliments for my collar and dog-inspired accessories. everyone had their own style and presentation, everyone danced with everyone, everyone cheered for everyone. there were couples of all kinds of configurations. the interval show of the night was a punk band with a trans woman lead (alongside a queer 70 year old man), and her transmasc fiancee as a dancer.
we love, cherish and uplift each other on the daily. you just have to pop your head and see it.