my life is literally a constant stream of sadness. can we please have some peace. did we not deserve some happiness. why do i feel responsible for all this
The Barbie movie reminded me about how when I was little my parents were upset that I kept making my Barbie dolls kiss, so they bought me a Ken doll. The next day they found me having a funeral for poor Ken in the garden, he had died of tuberculosis. All the Barbies were in attendance and I buried him under our rose bush. The Barbies were too poor to afford a headstone (it was 1875) so I didn’t mark where the grave was and I never could find him again. He’s probably still there.
CGI animators should unionize next. normally, their jobs would be too precarious to strike, since studios would replace them without a second thought, but if it's part of this larger general film strike, they might finally have meaningful power to better their working conditions
if CGI animators unionized, it would kill the MCU. straight up. the the entire business model is built on exploiting CGI animators (i do not care if you're a fan of marvel. you shouldn't be, but it should be irrelevant either way)
✶Surely, when two friends set up their two friends on a blind date in the very small town of Hawkins, they make sure those two people don't know each other beforehand, right? And, more importantly, aren't coworkers, right?✶
NSFW — slow burn, fluff, flirting, mutual pining, angst towards the end, drug/alcohol mention/use, 18+ overall for eventual smut
chapter: 3/? [wc: 6.1k]
↳ part 01 / 02 / 03
AO3
Chapter 3: The Accidental First Date
“Is this too much?” you asked, yanking down the visor and checking yourself in the small mirror.
Sitting in the back parking lot of the movie theater, you went through your purse for the finishing touches on your look. Doing your last paranoia check for anything in your teeth, turning your head this way and that to zhuzh your hair, and most importantly, preening your oxymoron of a sweater to show a decent amount of cleavage without flashing the cups of your push-up bra.
Truly a walking contradiction of a top. Cable knit and warm, but with a plunging neckline, to where the top button started at your sternum.
“No, you look hot,” Robin assured with her goofy smile. “New York modest is Hawkins slutty. He’s gonna love you.”
You shrank into your girlish giggle. “Good, I want my dating debut in this little town to be a statement. Set the stage for future escapades.. Until I run out of men, I guess. Seriously, how many bachelors live here and aren’t total hicks? Four?” Robin laughed.
“Could be worse. You could be a lesbian.”
“True,” you concurred. “Good thing you have Vickie. Sucks she couldn’t come tonight.” Robin made a sad huff of agreement, working a mascara wand through her lashes. “Hey, I know I said ‘yes’ without asking, but is this guy you set me up with even my type? Not that I care, obviously; a good story is a good story, but I’m just trying to set my expectations here.”
She furrowed her eyebrows dramatically, and paused unscrewing her lip gloss to rock her entire body into a positive affirmation–almost bumping her forehead on the steering wheel from the force of her nodding. “Oh, absolutely,” she said emphatically. “Looks scary on the outside, but is a total sweetheart on the inside. Overconfident, and obnoxious, but in that charming, swoony way.”
“Perfect!” You clasped your hands together.
Stepping out of the car, she waited for you so you could walk with your arms linked together, and she continued, “I haven’t seen him in years, but Steve was telling me over the phone that he’s been going through a tough time, and hasn’t been on a date in a while.”
“Aw, poor guy.”
There was a beat of silence where both of your faces twisted into knowing smiles.
“I know what that look means..” Robin led, canting her head to you.
Innocent, you lifted your shoulder in a coy shrug, bringing a collection of her soft hair up to your chin. “No idea what you’re talking about. I was just thinking, if he hasn’t been on a date in a while.. Why not make it memorable for him?”
You laughed together, rounding the sidewalk to the front entrance of the theater where the glamorous marquee shined gentle daylight upon the darkened street. Romantic and intimate, with a crowd of people standing in vague suggestions of lines; some broken off, gossiping, smoking.
“There they are,” Robin whispered, letting go of your upper arm to wave at Nancy–who you had met at the grocery store last week. She saw you approaching, and tapped her hand on the chest of the man beside her.
Still a considerable distance away, you peered at him, and placed his luscious hair in your memory. “Oh, that’s the guy who came to the shop today.”
“Steve?”
“Yeah, he was talking to the annoying mechanic I’m always telling you about.”
“The one you have a crush on?”
“Shush,” you bristled at the mention of your not-so-secret. “I do not have a crush on Eddie. Anyway! Did I tell you what he did this morning? He fuckin’ stood outside the window next to my desk, just out of my view for like, full on minutes, waiting for me to look at him. Like Michael Myers or some shit. Scared me half to death.”
Robin, still caught on one detail you had somehow failed to mention in the month you worked at the auto body shop, quietly asked, “..Eddie?”
“Yeah, my coworker,” you answered, not looking at her when she fell a step behind, since you were too focused on greeting Nancy, and introducing yourself to Steve to notice her sudden jog up behind you. Too fixated on complimenting Nancy’s skirt to witness the way Steve aimed his confused frown just past your shoulder. Missed his dismissive hand gestures, and Robin’s panic as she tried to wordlessly communicate something dire to him.
You were too busy listening to the cars cruise by on the street, and chatting casually, and savoring the warmth of a new friendship to scrutinize the sound of quick footsteps from the other direction, or the jangle of metal chains attached to their presence, or Robin’s damning groan.
“Sorry, I’m–” a familiar voice said. A bit nasally and on the higher side. Mirthful, awake with youth, and excited to make a good first impression.
You turned to them. Your date.
“..Late,” they trailed off.
Deer in headlights. Big, brown doe-eyes wide with surprise, framed by beautiful black lashes.
He stared at you.
His stomach sank.
You stared at him.
Your heart raced.
Eddie had stopped mid-step with his hand raised in greeting. The chains on his leather jacket tinkered until they stilled. Kind smile frozen from a better time. Chest filled with a held breath. Presenting himself with his best foot forward, and now his ears were tinted with the embarrassment of trying too hard to impress.
Oh, God.
You blinked away, and were intentional to accept the situation for what it was without showing your surprise, opting for a simple, timid, awkward, shaky, exhaled, “Hey, Eddie.”
He wasn’t so poised.
Shutting his eyes, he allowed the realization to wash over him, scrunching his face in a pained expression as the puzzle pieces slotted into place. He hung his head, and released his breath through his nose. “Your roommate is Robin,” he stated, pointing at her to punctuate his sentence. “And you call her Bobbie.”
“Yeah..” It was an apology as much as it was a confirmation.
“You still call me Bobbie?” Robin asked, tugging on your sleeve, forgetting the tense air surrounding the group for the moment. “I haven’t used that stage name in years.”
“Guess it stuck with me..”
Thankfully, someone else added to the conversation. Unfortunately, that person was Steve addressing the elephant outside the ticket booth.
“So, I take it you two know each other,” he deduced, looking from Eddie’s dejected gaze at the ground, to you wringing your purse strap over your chest.
Eddie enlightened him in a solemn tone, sparing a single glance at his friend, “She’s the receptionist at work.”
“Ah.” He turned his attention to Robin. “You set up two people who work together.”
She threw her hands up and blamed him, “Uh! No way, dunce, don’t put this on me. This whole thing was your idea, and at no point in the conversation did you tell me Eddie was a mechanic! If you had told me he was a mechanic I probably could’ve put two-and-two together myself, and avoided setting up people who see each other every day.”
Increasingly red-faced, Steve very pointedly avoided Eddie’s suspicious squint after being outed as the one who set up the date, not Nancy. “You’re the one who lives with her, how could you not–?”
“Okay!” You clapped once to end their bickering. “Then it’s not a date.”
Nancy, bless her, picked up her improv skills fast. “Yeah! Not a date. Just a casual outing between friends. Steve, get the tickets ready so we can get popcorn before the line gets too long.” There was a ripple of unanimous murmurs, followed by shuffling to the entrance.
“Silver lining,” Nancy muttered out the side of her mouth to Steve, “It’s a movie date, so it’s not like they have to talk to, or look at each other.”
Steve tempered his laugh to a hiss and held the door for Robin, who in turn kept the it ajar behind her for you, but as you went to catch it, it was opened for you.
Clack- clack- clack. You’d heard the sound every morning; his distinct rings on the metal frame of the glass door beside your desk, followed by his soft grunt when pulling it open. But whereas his whispered ‘morning’ normally echoed in the tiled lobby, it was now on the back of your neck, fanning your skin, and it wasn’t a sweet greeting, but a reserved, solemn, regretful, sad, “Sorry for.. yeah.” That’s how he started your date that wasn’t a date. With an apology. And still, as the crisp autumn air was replaced by the humid waft of buttery popcorn, your brain was stuck at the garage, filling in the drag of his heavy work boots on the way to the breakroom for coffee, and the lingering scent of cigarette smoke trailing his stride.
Except, as you were jolted back to reality, you came to know he didn’t present himself so generically outside the context of motor oil. Due to the traffic clogging around the ticket ripper, Eddie ran into you and you discovered the nuances of what he smelled like when not at work, with the added intimacy of his chest pressed to your back.
Worn leather enveloped by notes of vanilla musk cologne. Spicy deodorant carried by the sweet earthy tang of tobacco. Dove White on his heated skin, and Dawn on his hands.
A symphony you could immerse yourself in learning for hours if it wasn’t for the crime of your group moving forward.
“Did you want anything?” Eddie asked you, pointing at the concessions.
“Oh, no, I’m good.” You made a clawing gesture at your mouth. “Eating popcorn before the movie even starts because I have no self control and then being forced to sit there with kernels in my teeth drives me nuts.”
Not finding you as endearing as you intended, he slipped his hands into his pockets, and motioned for both of you to stand off to the side, out of the way while you waited for the others to get their snacks. And he just stood there. Not saying anything. You were turned to him as if to carry a conversation, but his gaze was set ahead; not on anything in particular, just away from you.
Rarely had his face been this slack, this devoid of emotion. Even when doing menial work like filling out invoices for parts you would need to order, there was activity. Liveliness in the tic of his eyes reading lines on the paper. Movement of his tongue sliding across his top lip. A subtle crease between his brows. Something. Anything.
You spoke above the giggly teenagers sneaking into the film next door, “For a stick in the mud, you look nice.” He really did, in his well-loved jacket draping his frame after years of being broken in to perfection. Tight black jeans. Sensible boots. More accessories than just his rings.
Try as he might to cut you an unamused look, his freshly washed hair bounced in immaculate waves around his face, catching the low mood lighting like a messy halo.
“Thanks,” he said, not meaning it.
“I can see why you don’t get many dates if you always look this miserable.”
“I’m not miserable.”
“Glum, then? Woebegone? Hapless? Crestfallen?” When he seemed hellbent on wishing he were anywhere else, you eased up on your act. Harboring the pit of rejection eating away at your stomach, you pried, “Disappointed?”
The glimpse of vulnerability in your words was not lost on him.
He snapped to, shaking himself out of his funk to reassure you in his gentle timbre amongst the chaos of someone beating the top score on the pinball machine, “I’m not disappointed to be here with you.”
“Then what are you?”
“Sorry,” he guessed, shrugging. He was the type to speak with his hands, moving them despite being confined to his pockets. “I’m sorry our friends suck at communicating and this is how your night turned out; you being here with me when you were clearly expecting someone else.” His gaze didn’t dare dip lower than your nose, but the effort you put into your appearance did not go unnoticed. It wasn't the first time he stared a little too directly into your eyes after you decided to stop covering yourself up.
“I don’t go on dates intending to find my one true love or anything lame like that,” you said, honestly. “I go on them to have fun, and I think we can still have fun, even if we have to share the same tiny lunch table come Monday, and we side-eye Carl for bringing tuna again.” He almost smiled at that.
Sensing he needed another boost of confidence, you kept going, “Before I knew it was you, Robin was talking you up in the car. Going on about how my date was some sweet guy, super handsome, and with a heart of gold. You know, the Prince Charming type. Oh, and totally obnoxious too. Real loudmouth who never shuts up.”
Okay, maybe some of that was ad libbed, but you wanted to know how much of it was true.
Eddie shifted from foot to foot, subduing his grin by biting his tongue, literally. “That’s a pretty apt way to describe me back in high school, yeah, especially with how I’m dressed.”
“What changed?”
“Uh, I had a kid,” he laughed. “She stole all my charm. I swear Adrie can talk me into anything.”
“I think you’re just a pushover.”
“Probably,” he surrendered. Raising his brows, he mused aloud one of the many things on his mind, “Do you not agree that she described me accurately? Sweet Prince Charming guy, all that?”
There was no way in hell you were going to speak your truth. Instead, you smirked. “I don’t think you want to know what adjectives I’d use to describe you.” They were far too vulgar to utter in a crowded room. Hot in the most annoying way. Absolute pain in my ass. Just the worst, especially when I don’t hear you sneak up behind me in the kitchen, and you think it’s funny to scare me right as I open my drink from the Coke machine, and you laugh your stupid laugh when I drop it. An absolute eye-sore when you look up at me while you're on your hands and knees cleaning up the mess you created. Irritatingly handsome when you grin and buy me another one.
Ignorant to your private thoughts, he swung his elbow out to push you, and smiled.
Relaxing into the natural lull in conversation, you both watched your friends make it to the front of the line and order their food. They waited at the counter, starting the clock on when they would inevitably make it back to the two of you, and cease your alone time with Eddie. (Although, first, they’d have to traverse an entire bucket of dropped popcorn, and navigate around more than one group of children reenacting a fight scene they just watched on the big screen.)
“Were you disappointed I was your date?” you asked.
Robin was right. Eddie was a sweetheart. As soon as he detected an inkling of insecurity–whether it be in your strained voice, or etched into your face, or imbued in the question itself–he was quick to absolve your worry.
“No, no,” he said. “Relieved, if I’m being honest.”
“Relieved?” You weren’t expecting that.
“There’s a reason I haven’t dated since having Adrie. It didn’t sound like Steve made it clear to.. you, well, my anonymous date which happened to be you. Jesus, this is confusing. Whatever, you know what I mean, he didn’t say if he told my would-be date that I’m a dad, and I was afraid of coming here and having to tell them myself. Even if we hit it off, it’s a deal breaker for some people, y’know? Not that I blame them. I would’ve said the same thing five years ago.”
You nodded as you listened to him. “Never thought about it from that perspective. All my dates have been one-and-dones. Super casual. Kids were never really brought up.”
“Yeah, the dating world isn’t always so gracious. I’m kinda glad I’m here with you–someone who knows me, at least.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you spied Steve raising his sodas above his head as two boys ran past him, pretending they were in a shootout.
Knowing he wouldn’t have time to respond, you informed Eddie, “You’re worrying about the wrong thing. Adrie’s an angel. You should be more concerned about your curmudgeonly attitude being a deal breaker.” His narrowed-eye glare had never felt so sweet.
Robin’s giddy presence became known. She dropped her chin to your shoulder with a satisfied hum, and wrapped her arm around your waist to hug you snug to her body. You laid your head on top of hers, swaying with her.
She must’ve made a face at Eddie, because a different emotion flinched across his features, and he was back to avoiding making eye contact.
You, however, were more enticed by the drink in her hand than analyzing his change in demeanor. “Shit, now I want an Icee.”
“Yeah, I got cherry,” she said, angling the straw towards you. “They have Coke too–Okay, bye, dork,” she giggled after you.
“Go ahead and sit without me! I want an Icee.” Nancy clutched the largest size of popcorn to her chest to avoid spilling it as you stumbled out of Robin’s hold and darted for the concession stand.
Eddie raised his voice, “You couldn’t have decided that five minutes ago when I asked?”
“Nope!”
————
The theater for the low budget horror flick reflected the town’s perception of it. As soon as the heavy door closed behind you, your footsteps on the dense carpet echoed around the empty room. Your group was sitting in the back row, and their murmurs could be heard from the bottom.
You climbed up to them and flumped into the seat next to Eddie. “We can share,” you said excitedly, shaking the drink at him before placing it in the cupholder at the end of the single armrest.
When the subtle pinch of concern around his eyes remained, you promised him you didn’t have cooties.
He played with his rings, pulling them down the length of his fingers and spinning them while he worked through his confusion. “You don’t have to sit next to me.. You can sit next to Robin.” He motioned beside him, to Steve munching on his popcorn while Nancy held it, and Robin whispering on the end, rolling her eyes at something Nancy said.
“Why wouldn’t I sit next to you?”
Eddie’s mouth opened and closed, struggling to settle on what he wanted to say, and finishing with a submissive shrug, leather jacket groaning at the act. He bounced his foot quicker, shaking the aglets on his laces against his boot in a chaotic rhythm. “Dunno..”
“You’re silly. I’d pinch your cheek if I didn’t think you’d bite me.” He reeled at that, and you giggled. You didn’t mind making him balk at your weird quirks; whatever put him at ease. Rather, whatever made him stop rubbing his knee against yours, because you were certain the friction was about to cause a fire.
Digging through your purse, you took out a rectangular box and slid your finger under the flap, popping it open and dumping a handful of candy into your palm. You threw it back into your mouth. “Want sh-ome?” you chewed, offering the box to him.
“Who the hell eats Mike and Ikes?”
“Uh, me, jerk.” Right as the lights dimmed to pitch black, and the curtains drew back from the screen, you hit him with the most exaggerated pout. “I only eat them at the movies. They’re a ritual, and you’re rude.” The shadows lining his face twisted into a deeper grin. “Are you more of a chocolate guy?”
“Maybe,” he answered like he was suspicious of your motives.
And maybe he should be. Afterall, you committed the number one sin when it came to cinemas.
“Looks like I chose right,” you said, reaching into your purse and pulling out a Kit Kat. “I was hoping my date would be a chocolate sorta guy–” You went quiet seeing his eyes widen a touch. “I mean, not date. Begrudging coworker? Tentative acquaintance?”
“Reluctant friend,” he answered smoothly, taking the package from you and ripping it open with his teeth.
~~~
Trailers for other films played, bathing the room in flickers of light interrupting the darkness. The opening credits began. Your candy was half-eaten. His was devoured. You took a sip of your Icee, and from the vantage point of pressing your back into the cheap theater seat, you observed him in your periphery.
His gaze hardly left the drink. Your offer to share it gnawed at him in a visible way. Scoping out the straw, the possible trace of spit you left behind, the possible trace of spit he’d leave behind. He peered at the screen to acknowledge the intro, and then back down it was, boring holes into the Icee.
You were no better, nibbling at your lips when he finally caved and took a sip–all too quick, and clumsy, almost missing the cup holder when he put it back down with lightning speed.
The edge of your thighs touched under the arm rest; worse so, when you folded one leg under you, and leaned into him. “Do you hate it when people talk during movies?”
“Not these kind.” He meant the genre in general, which made for great fodder for ripping apart in friend groups, but another popular trope among this realm of fiction became apparent. The first set of tits flashed on screen, and you both found yourselves lacking in the commentary department.
After a moment, you tilted your head. “That actress looks familiar..”
“She’s been in other cult classics. Always acts with her eyebrows.” He turned to you and nudged your shoulder, vying for your full attention. He emphasized the end of each word with an inflection as if it were a question, and raised his eyebrows in every way possible, mocking her slowly, “She’s the one who always talks like this–!” He looked crazy contorting his face to make his point.
“That’s it!” You snapped. “Her wearing glasses really threw me off.”
“Mhm.” His hum vibrated along your upper arm pressed to his, and he asked quietly under the screams of the first gorey death, “Do you like B movies?”
“Hell yeah. Back home they would play them at this rooftop drive in place. I rarely paid to watch them, though. The next building over had a good view of the projector screen.”
His banter dropped in favor of chewing on the corner of his thumb. If it wasn’t for the wild change in scenery cast across his face, you could’ve sworn his faint smile faltered into inscrutability.
Did you say something wrong?
————
“Damn, that was a cool practical effect,” Eddie complimented the purplish fizzing ooze that once was a person.
“I know, right? That’s why I love these bad movies. There’s no budget for good CGI, so they have to do creative stuff like that.”
It was inevitable. Bound to happen. A mere act of fate. Stars aligning in the close knit group leaning forward to exchange witty quips about the hare-brained plot holes in the movie, and not minding their surroundings except to receive everyone’s laughter, making jokes at the expense of the bad acting.
Steve was asking a question that was technically answered by the movie’s lore if he’d paid attention to the dialogue during the second gratuitous stripping scene. You or Eddie could have answered, but Robin took it upon herself to explain, and you two nodded along.
Absentminded, you reached for the Icee.
Distracted, Eddie reached for the Icee.
The waxed paper cup was cold under your fingers, but your hand was blanketed by warmth.
Slow to process, you both glanced down at the reason why neither of you were achieving your goal, and the overload of sensory inputs faded away to one: touch.
Your thumb was trapped under his palm, and his fingers stretched around the cup, meeting yours on the other side and housing them beneath his in a steady amount of pressure. They were almost interlocking. Holding. Wrist on top of wrist–his with the extra harshness of his leather and chain bracelet on your skin. The heaviness of his forearm resting on yours.
Truly, the accident lasted all of two pumps of your heart, but it felt like more when he stroked his calloused fingertips over your knuckles as he let go.
“Sorry!” he blurted.
“S-Sorry,” you laughed, jittery from the encounter.
Your cheeks were hot. His were flushed red. The lewd moaning of a woman feigning to orgasm just from the male lead removing her bra alone played in the background. Neither of you could decide which plan of escape was less embarrassing: continuing to stare like idiots at each other, or watch the actress’ ginormous boobs bounce as she faked riding a guy.
You blinked. His eyebrows ticced up.
Boobs it was.
He adjusted how he sat, tugging his jeans down his legs a little, and crossing his arms. Eyes laser focused on the woman’s face. The why was obvious, and you couldn’t help but tease him for pretending to be a gentleman in your company when you held no such modesty when it came to ogling her tits.
“Thinking about how much Aquanet she uses?”
“Shut up.”
————
Later into the film, after the plot circled back to the juicy gore, you leaned into Eddie to ask him a question.
What that question was, you couldn’t remember.
As soon as you placed your elbow on the armrest and used the back of your hand to tap his shoulder, he dipped his head to hear you. It was an automatic thing starting from the moment you slouched in your seat. That’s all. A shift in your sitting position and intake of breath, and he knew you were going to speak, and he wanted to listen. He cared about what you had to say. He leaned into you as well, because listening to you took priority over the movie.
“Eddie?” You sought any words. Any words at all. Any would do. Any question, even if you knew the answer. “Uhm. The music sounds really familiar. Do you recognize it?”
“It’s the same composer as Chopping Mall and Deathstalker II.”
“Ah.”
Ah. All you could muster when you were charmed by the silhouette of his lips moving. Watching them form letters, pout on the plosives, press into a line on his thick swallow.
Ah. All you could say when his hair brushed over your fingers. Dry, in need of a deep conditioning. Curling around your forefinger. Tickling your palm.
Ah. All you could respond with when you lifted your gaze, and caught him staring at you like you stared at him.
————
As predicted, the filmmakers padded the runtime with another topless scene, and the movie ended on a witty one liner that included not one, but two puns, and no resolution to the numerous plot threads left hanging.
“That was.. certainly something!” Robin summed up, holding the doors open to the subdued hours of the night.
Once outside in the fresh air, the dynamic reverted back to its original status.
Your friends made themselves scarce in the worst way; whistling, shuffling to the side as they found asinine things to comment on, leaving you and Eddie alone. Their intentions were pure, but reality was not so kind.
Eddie cemented his gaze on the sidewalk as he picked at his callouses, and apologized for the mistake of going out with you. Again. “Sorry about all this.”
Itchy sweat broke out across your back. It sucked he was so brazen about rejecting you. You had hoped some of the tender crush you had on him extended past the armrest you shared, the looks you shared, the touches you shared; but maybe you were just tricking yourself into finding things that weren’t there.
Wanting to end on a better note, you appealed to him in a last ditch effort to smooth over the situation, “I meant it when I said you looked good tonight. It’s nice to see you outside of your work clothes.”
“Thanks.”
That’s all. Thanks. A shy glance from beneath his curtain of messy hair, and a somber tone to maximize the awkwardness of the not-date with your coworker.
You needed to get the hell out of there. “See you Monday?”
“Yeah, see you Monday.”
The group winced in unison when they saw the way you two departed.
Robin was quick to link her arm with yours and gather you closer, bringing your heads together to gossip as you walked back to her car. “That bad, huh?”
Around the corner and out of sight, you gave her half a smile, trying to appear in better spirits. “Well, I don’t think he likes me. He didn’t return any of my compliments, and he apologized for being on a date with me no less than four times over the course of the evening.”
She cringed for you. “That’s worse than Balloon Guy, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” you said, remembering what would go down in history as the shittiest date you’d been on. “Yeah, that’s more times than Balloon Guy.” Robin hugged you tighter, making your steps go clumsy. She apologized for Eddie’s weirdness, but you shrugged. Maybe you were supposed to find it weird, too. Maybe you were supposed to disapprove of the idea of romantic feelings for your coworker, too. Maybe you were supposed to have no expectations for it to lead anywhere, too.
Maybe you were supposed to reject him, too.
————
Still loitering outside the theater, Steve exchanged a look with Nancy, and jogged to catch up with Eddie before he made it too far in the opposite direction.
“Uh, hey buddy!” Steve clapped him on the shoulder to stop him. “It sounded like you two were hitting it off during the movie, what happened?”
Eddie sulked under the question. His chest fell with a surrendering sigh, and his boots scraped the concrete as he turned to him, not bothering to mask the dullness in his slack expression. Everything about him was tired, including his voice when he slipped into a lower, raspy octave. “She’s nice, but..”
“But what?” Nancy asked, searching his face.
Bottling his burdens, he clenched his teeth, and worked his jaw as he contemplated evading their insistent prying; but after ruminating on it, he explained the source of his problems, “She lives a very.. whimsy life.” He fluttered his hand like a bird flapping its wings, or a butterfly. “She does this thing where she says ‘yes’ to anything anyone asks her; it’s why she moved to Hawkins, and why she ended up on this date to begin with. Y’know, just doing whatever seems like fun. It’s cute, in a way, and obviously I.. feel a way towards her, but this place isn’t where she’s looking to lay down roots. New York is her home.”
Steve squeezed his shoulder, knowing what was about to come.
“I’ve already been left for someone better.. I can’t go through that again.” Eddie’s eyes begged them to understand. “I don’t want Adrie to get attached to someone who’s just gonna leave.”
Nancy started, “Eddie–You don’t know if she’d leave.”
He shook his head, and pulled away from Steve’s lingering grasp. Shushed his friend’s well-meaning words about him being valued, and to forget his insecurities about not being good enough.
“A girl like that doesn’t need me weighing her down,” Eddie said, imparting the wisdom he’d come to accept since you made a mark on his life weeks ago, when it became your mission to befriend him. “I’ll pick up Adrie in the morning. Thanks for watching her.”
The night got darker as he left.
Darker still, when Steve waved at his back, and Nancy played with the locket around her neck, and her goodbye went disregarded.
————
Silence.
It surrounded him. Blood pulsing in his ears, his heart beat, the refrigerator hum, the tink of glass bottles as he grabbed the full six pack and brought it to the couch, springs squeaking under his weight.
Utter emptiness welcomed him.
Not a sound in his home. Not a giggle from his daughter, or scrape of a skillet from Wayne’s makeshift breakfast-dinner before he went to work. Even the dogs around the trailer park were quiet.
Just.. nothing.
It was what he wanted, right? A night to himself; a break from the chores, the questions, the food making, the taking care of a tiny human being who made everything tougher than it needed to be.
He got his wish.
Two beers down in peace, he got his wish.
Eddie looked around his trailer lit by the single lamp beside him.
Quiet, empty, nothing.
Dark silence.
The jolt of his sob startled him. It erupted from his chest so suddenly. Ripped from the tightness of repressed emotions; the things he tried to deny, to feel and then lock away. To keep safe, buried down deep where he could manage them from progressing past the boundaries he created for his own good, and Adrie’s. He felt the agony of them all at once. The morning smiles, the afternoon laughs, the evenings of pretending you didn’t plan to bump into each other in the doorway to the lobby. The game of seeing how long he could watch you twirl the phone cord around your finger before you looked up from your desk. Your sweet way of comforting him after the hard nights of Adrie’s sleep regression by taking his tan work jacket and draping it over his shoulders while he slept at the lunch table in the break room. Your gentle method of fixing his collar when it was tucked on the inside of his coveralls.
The date was too good to be true.
In fact, the truth itself was far more painful.
The date was amazing. He couldn’t remember a time in his life when he had more fun. More thrills, sure. But not more fun. There wasn’t a day in his youth where he experienced more of the flirty thrum in his veins than when he committed himself to learning the way your lips moved when saying his name in the darkened theater.
The date was perfect. He was happy. And he couldn’t have it again. Shouldn’t have it again. Wouldn’t have these feelings again.
Eddie doubled over and put his third beer on the floor before he spilled it. Nothing was discernible beyond the water invading his ability to see, to fathom his reflection in the old TV. Sad, miserable, and lonely. An idiot for finally getting attached to someone, and it was someone he wasn’t supposed to.
Tears slipped from between his lashes. He smeared them on his cheeks, covering his sweaty face from his possessions bearing witness to his stupidity.
It was in his best interest to reject you–reject your casual stance on dating, and relationships, and people with kids–but the face you made when your advances went underappreciated churned his stomach.
He needed to be stronger. But he was weak.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he sighed into the stale air. Opening another beer, he nursed it as he huddled into the corner of the couch, and searched for Adrie’s quilt to soothe him. But of course, he sent it with her when he dropped her off at Steve’s.
No baby blanket to hold onto. No Adrienne to sleep on his chest to ease the pain of loneliness. No reason to look forward to Monday after he royally screwed everything up.
“Goddamnit,” he groaned.
Maybe, if he apologized enough, there was a chance you wouldn’t hate him.
Maybe, if you forgave him, you’d go back to the morning smiles, and the afternoon laughs.
And maybe, if he was enough of a masochist, he’d let you gently ease past those boundaries meant to keep you, and your kindness out. If you wanted to trespass, that is. He didn’t know. He was an idiot.
“Fuck you” tears spilled from your eyes as you stared at the man you love. Loved. You had to remind yourself that as the untrue words left your mouth. You didn’t hate him. You never could. You saw a life with him and you’d carry that until the day you die.
“You’ve done that a few times already, sweets” always trying to make a joke. It’s what got you on that first date when you were seniors, the first time for him. Stupid jokes, yet still chivalrous and unique.
“This isn’t funny, Eddie. I don’t want… I don’t want to lose you. You go back there, keep Dustin safe, save the world, and I’ll be here with a kid who grows up with their dad. I already know how you’re mind works. You made your mind up earlier today” I ranted, violently wiping away tears. His shoulders slumped, accepting my words.
“Guess I’ll just have to come back then. I wanna do this, y/n. I need to give this kid the best life they can get” he tried to cup your cheeks, but you wouldn’t let him. Pushing his hands away, not looking at him. Letting him know how uncertain you are of this plan. Stubborn. The pair of you were nothing more than stubborn.
“Y/N, please. If you think it’s gonna go that way, at least let me look at you one more time” I shoved him hard, making him stumble.
“Fuck you!” I yelled. The kids peering through the stolen RV, never once hearing me shout like this.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” He smirked. That fucking masochist. Why did you have to fall in love with him? That stupid nerd that likes playing fantasy games and shredding guitar in his free time. It just had to be him.
The one that wanted to prove everyone wrong. Going after a girl most people in thought was unapproachable and intimidating. He just had to have you, and he did in every single way. Fucking prick. No matter how much you tried, you still love him. And he wouldn’t back down. Acceptance would be the only thing to settle this.
“You come back to me, Eddie Munson. If you don’t, I’ll fucking kill you myself” you pointed at him, staring up at him with pure fear and rage.
“Alright, I’ll stick to the plan. Maybe get a few battle scars to get the kid into D&D since their mama doesn’t care for it” he smiled, grabbing your hand to pull you into his embrace. Holding you like it’d be his last. You hoped it wouldn’t.
“I’m serious, Eddie. You’re not leaving me alone with this baby. I have no fucking clue what I’m doing, and I’m not gonna turn into a crackhead like my own mother” you said into his chest. Taking shivering breaths as you let your anxiety take over.
“Hey, this kid’s gonna have the best mom around. She’s smart, gorgeous, and knows how to keep her husband in line” you pulled away to look at him in confusion. He simply smiled and brushed away your tears. “Told you I’m gonna marry you, sweets. Just saving up for a ring”
“I don’t need a fancy ring, Munson. Just you” he nodded. Placing a soft kiss on your lips. All the words he wanted say, in a sweet kiss before he left. You couldn’t have him have the last word, so you threw a rock at his back.
“I’m warning you, Munson. You come back in one piece” he saluted you, marching like a soldier back into the RV. You giggled sitting on the porch of your home. Still worried for your boyfriend’s life.
Even through the earthquake, you worried about him more than yourself. You didn’t hear anything and your dad was worried for your child’s life. Reminding you that it wasn’t healthy to worry.
“Come on, sweetheart. You need to eat, at least a nibble” he said. You shook your head, still violently bouncing your leg. Hoping your nerves were simply nerves.
“I’m not hungry. I just want to know he’s okay” you said softly. Just then the doorbell rang and you raced to the door much to your dad’s worry. You saw Steve, bruised and exhausted. No. It couldn’t be. He couldn’t.
“He’s alive, just a bit banged up. I just wanted to take you somewhere” you let go of the breath you were holding, tears escaping at the news.
“Fucking asshole wants to give me a heart attack” I huffed. “You still have your bat?”
“Yeah, why?” He asked as you grabbed your jacket.
“I’m gonna need it to beat his ass. Dad, I’ll be back!” You walked past Steve, getting into his car and staring at Dustin.
“Say goodbye to your Dungeon Master” you say. He nodded in fear.
“I told him this was a stupid idea” he defended.
“Stupid is right, and I believe in women’s rights” the drive was silent as you seethed in ever way imaginable. Both boys afraid to begin a conversation, afraid they’d be caught in your line of fire burning a path to wherever the hell Steve was driving.
“Where the hell are we?” You ask, not meaning to be harsh towards either of them. Steve hesitated before looking past you. Your head whipped around seeing the prick you love step out of the house. Bandages around his neck, bruised and still bloodied from whatever hell he survived.
“Give me the bat, Harrington” he shook his head and you quickly stepped out of the car and ran full force towards Eddie. You didn’t need a bat to beat the hell out of him.
“I’m alive” Eddie smiled, fear in his eyes of what the batshit crazy love of his life would do to him. He regretted not letting the bats take him.
“Good, you fucking prick. You let me go sixteen hours without anything! Fucking pussy couldn’t even face me?!? Had to let Steve and your love child pick me up?” You pushed him against the wall of the house, still being cautious of his wounds. “Fuck you”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry but I wanted to bring you here first! It’s not a ring but at least it’s a start” he breathed out. “Wayne told me he closed on the house, I couldn’t put it in my name but I bought it” you stopped your assault moving away from him to look at the house. It was a house you two visited often when you were younger.
“We came here when we were eighteen, you told me you imagined that if your life was the Harrington’s or Wheeler’s you’d live here and be happy. I want you to be happy, with our kid, maybe with me if you don’t murder me first. Hell I’ve got a few more payments” you shut him up with a kiss, not wanting to hear more of his rambling. He could ramble for the rest of your lives.
“You’re an asshole, Eddie Munson” you choked out before kissing him again. “Don’t ever leave me like that again”
“I don’t plan on it. Wanna see the inside?” He smiled. You nodded kissing him one tomorrow time. You were still mad at him. He knew that with every fuck you had to christen the place. Your bodies still close on the cold wooden floors of what would be your bedroom. His fingers dancing across your skin until they rested against your growing bump.
“I know I’m not a typical dad, and you’ll probably get bullied for having me as your old man. I just want you to know, I love you and your mama so much. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for the two of you. That includes going to another dimension to fight a creepy mind controlling super powered evil villain” you chuckled at his words. Knowing this kid would live in a fantasy world with their dad.
“Oh shit, have you seen Wayne?” You said disrupting his thoughts to get dressed.
“Yeah, yeah he’s safe. He said he’s a little upset that he won’t be woken up to the sound of a new little Munson running around, but I told him he’s got a room here whenever he’s ready to leave the trailer” Eddie said instantly easing your mind. You slumped back into the floor, your head on Eddie’s chest, being delicate around his healing wounds. He was here, breathing, alive.
“You think this kid’s gonna resent us for fucking in his room?” And still an idiot. He’s yours though, he kept that promise with a completely not legal wedding and continuing to be the best dad possible to your child.
“What made you fall in love with mommy?” Alex asked. You stopped working on dinner to look over at Eddie with a raised eyebrow. He was hesitant at first but a smile broke out on his face.
“Well, it all started when I saw her in school. Some kids tried to pick on her, but she told them that she would hesitate to… make them sick” you almost snorted at his choice of words. In reality, you said you’d poison them slowly and painfully until they died.
“It was that moment that I fell in love with her, and the pure fire that she is” he smiled.
“Does mommy use her fire still, like a dragon?” She asked. I glared at Eddie, reminding him to choose his words carefully. Sure motherhood mellowed out your intense anger issues, it didn’t mean they depleted. In reality, Eddie liked it in many inappropriate ways that your child will never know about.
“She does, but for very special occasions” he blushed. Smart man.
No offense but I’d rather Eddie come back as a vampire than stay dead. I don’t give a fuck if it destroys every other storyline or “ruins” the show. Eddie showed up on screen and any loyalty I had towards any other aspect of the show left my body. His death was stupid, predictable, lazy and I’d accept just about any reason to have him back. Sorry haters.
Just thinking again about how Mike grew his hair and changed his clothes to look more like Eddie, how Lucas defended Eddie to Jason, how Dustin was so smitten and in love with Eddie for teaching him how to be himself, thinking about how Eddie didn't hesitate to add Erica to the hellfire club even if she was a kid and a girl cause he saw she was a nerd and loved the game just like them and wanted to make her feel safe and happy. Thinking how Robin and Eddie immediately understood each other by being the freaks in a small town, how Steve and Eddie were surprised at each other being so nice and cool and could have become best friends together with Robin, thinking how much Will would have loved Eddie, and how Eddie would have get Will and never judge him but always try to make him feel okay and safe to be himself, how Joyce would have believed Eddie was innocent in a second and tried to helped him. Thinking how despite Eddie having no parents and probably suffered from abuse and neglect as a child that made him more empathetic, nicer and a sweet person with anyone who saw beyond his looks. Thinking how Eddie was just a kid who had no idea about what the upside down was but still went there and helped his new friends cause he was always brave and smart and wanted to save a town that hated him. Thinking that before the start of s4 the only things he did was play guitar trying to learn master of puppets, play with his band, plan d&d campaigns for his sheep's and mind his own business. Thinking how much better he deserved and how absolutely beautiful he was and how much we all connected with him. Thinking about how Joseph Quinn took this role and made it his own and build a character through his own decision to make sure he was understood and that we all saw him for who he really was.
Just me thinking again about how much I love Eddie Munson and how beautiful and amazing he is.
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