Thinking about: Robert stumbling upon reader who has the power to bring misfortune to people around them. CON is that reader has no clue how to control their ‘powers’ and considers themself cursed for life.
Reader keeps people at a distance, therefore their powers most often inflict on themself. Making reader utterly terrible at literally everything they try to do, again: they’re cursed.
They don’t want to bring misfortune to a stranger who doesn’t deserve to have their day ruined but sometimes…. it just happens, and the guilt is awful.
So many thoughts but no idea how Robert and Reader would cross paths…
I’ve actually written a lot of this already but instead of reader…it’s the readers 6 year old daughter that has the powers and she manages to stop villains without anyone noticing
Sypnosis: You and Robert come home from a sweet date night only to find your children turned the house into a glitter-covered war zone and Waterboy into their unwilling princess babysitter.
Pairing(s): Robert Robertson III (Mecha Man) x Reader, ft. Herman (Waterboy)
Warnings: domestic fluff, babysitting gone catastrophically wrong, exhausted babysitter syndrome, weaponized five-year-old affection, gremlin behavior at maximum capacity
A/N: this was too cute, i kept giggling every few minutes
Requested by: @cookieshakr
Masterlist
Your intertwined hands swung back and forth as you both walked home from your sweet little date night.
The city lights reflected softly against Robert’s face, easing the harsher lines of his features while his massive hand practically swallowed yours whole every time your fingers tightened around his.
It had been nice.
Normal, even.
A small picnic dinner, just the two of you on a nearby hilltop. Peanut butter jelly sandwiches, chips and coke serving as witnesses to your romantic night wrapped in jokes, laughter and quiet affection.
Sure, most people probably wanted something fancier. Something more extravagant than a couple of poorly assembled sandwiches and convenience store snacks.
But you?
This was more than enough.
“Babe,” you snickered, nudging him lightly. “C’mere.”
“Hm?” he glanced down at you curiously before bending slightly toward you.
“You’re so messy,” you chided, brushing crumbs from the corner of his mouth. “Christ, did Chase not teach you manners when he babysat you?”
He rolled his eyes with a soft chuckle as he straightened again. “I just know how to appreciate fine dining, that’s all.”
“Fine dining? Please,” you snorted.
He let out a fake wounded gasp, face twisting into exaggerated offense.
“That hurt my feelings, y’know? And my wallet.”
“Oh, woe is you,” you teased. “You gonna cry?”
“I open my heart to you and this is the cruelty I receive,” he lamented dramatically, though the grin tugging at his lips ruined the act. “My heart will never recover.”
You laughed, sticking your tongue out at him as you climbed the few steps toward your shared home.
Nothing could have prepared either of you for the sight waiting on the other side of the door.
“ON GUARD!” your daughter roared before launching herself across the room, crashing straight into her brother and tangling both of them into a chaotic pile of limbs.
Your son responded with a near inhuman screech before immediately biting her while making feral little gremlin noises.
Both you and Robert froze.
Crayons littered the floor.
Blankets and couch cushions were scattered everywhere.
Glitter somehow coated half the living room.
And slime…
There was slime stuck to the wall that was absolutely going to leave a stain once you peeled it off.
“What the…” you muttered.
“I WON’T ALLOW YOU TO HARM THE PRINCESS!” your daughter yelled again while wrestling her giggling sibling.
“…Princess?” Robert mumbled before movement caught the corner of his eye.
In the corner of the room sat Waterboy, fidgeting awkwardly with a face red enough to rival a stop sign.
“O-oh! H-hi, uh… sorry about the m-mess…” he greeted nervously.
Yet again, both of you blinked, trying to process what exactly you were looking at.
Waterboy was covered head to toe in random accessories.
A green feather boa hung around his shoulders. Several plastic necklaces clattered against his chest. Your daughter’s fake press-on nails decorated his fingers, and a sparkly pink tiara rested proudly on his head.
Judging by the makeup smeared across his face, he’d also been forced through an entire makeover session.
Blue glittery eyeshadow.
Patchy hot pink blush.
Bright red lipstick messily smeared across his lips.
“Herman…” you gawked. “Are you… what the hell happened?”
Poor man looked like he lost custody of his dignity three hours ago and never recovered. Babysitting really is just psychological warfare with Goldfish crackers and glitter.
“I-I can explain,” he blurted immediately.
“You better,” Robert said slowly, staring at the glitter somehow embedded into his eyebrows. “Because right now it looks like you lost a war.”
“I did lose a war,” Waterboy muttered weakly.
“HE’S THE PRINCESS!” your daughter corrected loudly from the floor.
Waterboy squeaked at that.
Your son immediately lunged at him from behind the couch with the energy of a caffeinated raccoon.
“HOLD HIM DOWN!”
Robert physically recoiled. “Jesus Christ.”
Water erupted from the air instantly on instinct, catching your son mid-flight before he could tackle him directly into the coffee table.
The child dangled there laughing maniacally while Waterboy looked one stress-induced heart attack away from death.
“T-they figured out I can make…rides,” he admitted miserably.
As if summoned by those exact words, your daughter gasped dramatically.
“SHOW THEM THE WATERSLIDE!”
“Hm?” you blinked.
“N-no,” Waterboy answered immediately.
“SHOW THEM!”
“Uh… that’s n-not a good id—.”
“SHOW THEM!”
He looked at Robert like a hostage begging for rescue.
Robert folded his arms. “Well then. Go on.”
“You’re e-enjoying this.”
“A little.”
Before Waterboy could continue defending himself, your son escaped the floating water bubble and sprinted toward Robert at full speed.
“DAD! DAD! UNCLE ERMIE MADE A DEATH TUBE!”
Robert paused.
“…A what?”
Your daughter grabbed your hand excitedly and began dragging you further into the house.
“It goes WHOOOOSH and then BAM and then he catches us before we hit the wall!”
You turned slowly toward Waterboy.
“Herman.”
“W-well… it sounds… it sounds worse than it is.”
“It sounds exactly like what CPS writes reports about.”
“I didn’t mean to-to make it that fast!”
Robert finally cracked, laughing under his breath as he walked deeper into the disaster zone. He crouched slightly, picking up one of the couch cushions covered in glitter.
“…Why is there slime on the ceiling?”
Your daughter proudly raised her hand.
“That was me!”
“…How?”
She stood there in silence before shrugging and skipping away.
“Honestly,” Waterboy sighed, “I stopped asking after the pirate incident.”
“The WHAT incident?”
Your son pointed dramatically toward the kitchen.
“Captain Uncle Ermie fought the evil sea monster!”
Robert peeked around the corner.
The “sea monster” was apparently just your mop wearing googly eyes and wrapped in tape.
“Huh….creative,” Robert admitted.
“You are being suspiciously supportive right now,” you accused.
“I wasn’t the one left unsupervised with tiny supervillains.”
“You abandoned him.”
Waterboy raised his hand shyly, “I-I really wasn’t….”
Your daughter suddenly climbed onto the couch beside him, carefully grabbing his face with both tiny hands.
“Unckie Ermie,” she whispered seriously, somehow smearing more lipstick onto his cheek, “you’re the prettiest princess.”
He froze.
The poor man looked emotionally unprepared for affection delivered by a five-year-old wearing a yellow blanket cape and one frilly sock.
“…I…I-I….” he stammered quietly.
Only, your son immediately ruined the moment by screaming.
“PRINCESS ATTACK!!”
He launched himself directly at Waterboy.
Water, once more, exploded upward in panic.
Your children shrieked as he accidentally created a massive swirling water tunnel across the living room, lifting both kids safely into the air while they spun around laughing.
Robert stared upward as one child flew past the ceiling fan.
“…Okay,” he said slowly. “That’s actually kind of cool.”
“HERMAN!”
“I P-PANICKED!”
You buried your face in your hands laughing hopelessly while Robert finally lost the battle against his own amusement.
And honestly?
Watching him sit there covered in dollar-store glam makeup while your children treated him like a magical disney attraction was maybe the happiest your house had looked in weeks.
Invisigal sneakily takes Roberts phone during her break and is quite surprised to see a dating app installed. She opens the app, snooping through his empty profile, and decides to take matters into her own hands.
The entirety of her break was spent setting up Roberts dating profile and flirting with strangers.
When Robert enters the break room for his daily twinkie, he sees her grinning mischievously with device in hand, entirely too focused on whatever she was doing.
“You’re in a good mood.” He noted.
It takes him until after he retrieves the sweet treat and pats his pockets to realize that…
One: His phone is missing.
And
Two: Courtney’s holding it. Right in front of him.
She looks up from the phone and finally acknowledges Robert with a laugh.
Then she talks his ear off about how she’s wayyyy better at talking to girls than he is.
The teasing doesn’t stop. It ends up being the z-teams go-to when picking on their dispatcher.
“Take someone on a date, god. It’s sad knowing you go home to that empty ass apartment.”
For some reason that one stuck with him. He realized: ‘yeah, that is pretty sad huh?’
Once shift ends, Robert hovers over the app. He’s avoided it entirely, not wanting to see the conversations Visi had on HIS account…until now.
He cringes at the profile she set up for him.
The bio was pretty normal but of course, the normalcy ended when Visi wrote how big of a Mecha Man fan Robert apparently is.
“Can’t have any enemies.” She’d tell him.
Robert fixes his profile and skims through his matches.
Thinking about: Robert stumbling upon reader who has the power to bring misfortune to people around them. CON is that reader has no clue how to control their ‘powers’ and considers themself cursed for life.
Reader keeps people at a distance, therefore their powers most often inflict on themself. Making reader utterly terrible at literally everything they try to do, again: they’re cursed.
They don’t want to bring misfortune to a stranger who doesn’t deserve to have their day ruined but sometimes…. it just happens, and the guilt is awful.
So many thoughts but no idea how Robert and Reader would cross paths…
