I have conflicting feelings about never being love-bombed or even anything more than neglected as a child. I know other abused kids would sometimes be given attention or gifts after abuse to make them bond back to the parent, which made leaving almost impossible. The kids would be stuck between two different versions of their parents, loving, generous, fun, engaging, and dangerous, hateful, violent and sadistic. Not knowing which is the real one, always finding excuses because you need that good one to be true, you need your parent, you love them and you need to know they love you too.
I find myself feeling grateful I didn't have that; I never bonded to those people, I never had to fight with myself to figure out which version is real. I knew they didn't love me. I don't have to deal with nostalgia and endless wondering if I could have had the good version if I was obedient enough. I knew for sure I was walking away from death, not family.
That feels like something to be grateful for, because the confusion and not being able to cut yourself away, that is hell. Doubting your own feelings and conclusions and always looking back, sounds way worse than what I have to deal with. I think that kind of love bombing is hateful. It affects the kids' lives with extra pain, extra struggles.
On the other hand I can't imagine a person having a positive opinion of me, I can't percieve myself as a person of value. After someone hurts me, I don't expect them to try to make up for it or even be sorry, it just feels normal. Neglect and abuse feel like the default and I don't know how to get anywhere else.
I did get love-bombed later by a narcissist and when I realized what had happened I was beyond devastated. It was the first time I thought someone cared about me, and it was just lies. It felt like something was stolen from me. It reinforced the idea I can't be loved and made me stop trusting people who said they cared about me - apparently anyone can just say that.
Does being love-bombed in childhood still make you feel like you have value, even temporary, and make you expect better out of people? Or is it just the same, devastation that it was just lies and you were lead on by your own parents? Does it make you distrust everyone's words because they could just be lying? Or are you still struggling to accept that even when it felt like they loved you, it wasn't true?