hazardous

[ XXII .•. [1/0] | }

[undefeigned]

now that He’s marked me

i know i was terribly wrong

i’m not scared of death, no

i’m scared of God

[undefeigned]

who chose this face for me? this dogsbody to rid of vermin

it asks me too

[undefeigned]

it’s winter in the world

i want your warmth

i’m swimming in the darkness

[undefeigned]

under a crumbling sky,

i feel insane

under a clear blue sky,

it feels the same

[undefeigned]

are you on my side?

(leave a lot of it to life, seasons change and so do i)

can i close my eyes?

(when i think i need to try, i fuck up most of the time)

never get it right

no except when i said that, all it takes is time

[undefeigned]

i hope to god there are other lives than this so there’s a chance of a better me that might know you

[undefeigned]

fucking drowning

[undefeigned]

watch my dreams getting crushed

turn my dreams into dust

[undefeigned]

“crow”, you said, “crow”

and i asked, “are you dreaming about a crow?”

and there she was

[undefeigned]

and i still wait

at the edge of town

praying straight to god that maybe you

would come back around

i cry every day

and the bottles make it worse

cause you were the only one

i was never scared to tell i hurt

and i found photographs of our school

on the day we met

i thought you were so beautiful

it was love, i guess

[undefeigned]

this blood sword is my light source

at the white shores when the night falls

was my life form worth to cry for?

off like 10 pills, now I'm stillborn

[undefeigned]

i’m sorry for everything i never said

i left you always wondering instead

[undefeigned]

skin skin skin let the skin touch the skin

win win win never was never been

i’m sinking it goes up to my chin

white white white gray to black eversince

[undefeigned]

sorry i’m not what you wanted, i know you can’t try again

[undefeigned]

though my life is a galaxy of subtleties

My complex intentions do not matter at all

in the face of the crushing flow of actual time

I saw my ancestors as sad and misunderstood in the same way

that my descendants will squint back through a fog trying to see

Some polluted version of all i meant to be in life

Their recollections pruned by the accidents of time,

what got thrown away, and what gets talked about at night

[undefeigned]

but no matter what i would do in attempt to replace

all these pills that i take, try to balance my brain

seen a curious girl with that look on her face

so surprised she stares out from her display case

[undefeigned]

so if i just exist for the next ten minutes

of this drive, that would be fine

and all the trees that line this curb

would be rejoicing and alive

soon all the joy that pours from everything

makes fountains of your eyes

because you finally understand the movement

of a hand waving goodbye