You know? That one guy you don't know?

I'm Jacob! I like to think of myself as an esoteric, eclectic, metrosexual, mad scientist. So welcome to my world where I shall be your guide along this exciting and awkward adventure!

[undersea-oceans]

On the back of one of my applications. Makes you think it's some kind of anti-illegal-resident propaganda, BUT NO! Cause then it's in Spanish lmao #jobapplication #equalopportunity #mindblown

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#rip #emeraldboa #glasspiece #spiralperc #icecatcher #bestbongever #brokemybong #saddayinhistory #goodbyegoodfriend

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Looking through my graduating class is weird when you only knew some of them for a single semester 😂😂😂 #oldyearbook #notmine #strangerdanger #awkward @xoxopaigee

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Just went up to 5/8" and hooooo-lyyyyyy fuckkkk. Ow. #stretchedlobes #plugsporn #fiveeighths #oface #nopainnogain

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Kitty no. Kitty stop it. That's my eye, kitty. #nofilter #nosmileselfie #catsareassholes #especiallythisone #kitty #pawswithclaws #youllpokesomeoneseyeout

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Please send help. Trapped. Pinned beneath cats. No food or water left. #trapped #dosgatos #catpile? #catsareassholes

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Omg can I just say this is the cutest lighter I've ever had?? 😂😳😍😍🐤🐦👌 #lighter #bic #birds #polkadot #socute #yellowisthecolorofsunshine

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Cat cuddles in a messy room. #whisper #kitty #cuddles #tattoo

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I have to pull the rug away from her too much. #annoyingbutcute? #kittypaws

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I spy with my little eye, a cat! #sophie #kitty #blackandwhite #saltandpepper #hideandseek #catnap #sofreakingcute

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HO HO HO! #joanns #deco #santa #sandyclaws #christmas #beard

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DIY hipster Christmas candy. #joanns #lollipop #christmas #diy #hipster #candy #mustache

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Bruhh, pineapple and anchovies are good. #pizza #pie #papajohns #pineapple and #anchovies #bacon and #mushrooms #iswearitsnot #disgusting #imweird

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Spiritual smoke sesh? #yingyang #signs #balance #peace #tranquility #blazeit

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Zero fucks given.

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Yes? Yes. #pipetobacco #classic

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I love my baby. Her name is Esmerelda. #graceglass