sometimes those posts or tweets about ppl being upset abt neurodivergent terms being overused by neurotypical ppl stress me out really bad because it makes me feel like, genuinely terrible awful abt a lot of the things i do or think.
it's all those posts abt people going 'oh you don't have autism, you don't have adhd, you don't have anxiety, you're just stressed' or whatever they say, etc. that like, made me not want to see a psychologist or try to get diagnosed or even do any sort of research on my symptoms. in fact i tried to instead convince myself my symptoms didn't exist, i still lowkey think they don't exist.
cause ok, sure i don't get overstimulated, i don't have hyperfixations, i don't stim- then what the fuck is all this then? but i can't say it's any kind of symptom of neurodivergency because if i say that and i'm actually not neurodivergent then i'm doing a very bad ableist thing just thinking it.
i've only started to wonder if i have ocd because other people had to tell me it's okay to think so and even then, what if i don't, what if me even wondering if i have it is wrong and bad and horrible and me misusing neurodivergent terms. can i say 'i might have ocd' or is me just saying that awful wrong and bad and terrible because ocd is actually really bad and debilitating and if i'm wrong about it then i'm undermining it's severity and that's really bad.
so i just think i'm fine. i just think i'm okay. i can't misuse neurodivergent terms if i just don't use them. so it's fine
