the wildest ride

Sebastian Smythe. 22. Disney lackey. Welcome to the best blog on the internet. You may have seen me at Disneyland, waving at you right before you took off on the ride of your life or helping out a princess or two. I prefer the princes myself, if you know what I mean. Hit me up if you're hot.

[themostpuckerfulplaceoneart-blo]

Sure, but ticketing machines can’t escort people from the park.

[underthesebby-blog]

I bet you scare kids more than Cruella De Vil, Puckerman. 

[thejakepuckx-blog]

Yeah, I know I feel off the face of the earth for a minute. Kinda what happens when my Ma comes into town.

[underthesebby-blog]

Aww, such a sweet and memorable moment. 

[themostpuckerfulplaceoneart-blo]

Apparently the new fad is taking outdated tickets and trying to pass them off as real. If you’re gonna put that much work into it, ya might as well just buy a damn ticket, yknow? I got five calls about it today alone.

Sucks that not everybody tries to maintain the innocence of Disney–but if they didn’t, I guess I wouldn’t have a job.

[underthesebby-blog]

Don’t the ticketing machines know the difference? 

[padfxxt]

That’s what my grandad says and he’s real smart, trust me.

Well… Sometimes I take vitamin C because I don’t eat enough fruit and stuff apparently and you can get that from basically anywhere.. Do you need some? I have a lot.

[underthesebby-blog]

I literally don’t know how to speak to you. 

[underthesebby-blog]

texts | sambastian

Sam: Oh. An asshole?

Sam: Yeah. Hey can you pick me up?

Sebastian: That's the one! I'm kind of an asshole sometimes, but not that bad.

Sebastian: I suppose. Your roommate hates me though, so meet me outside.

[underthesebby-blog]

texts | sambastian

Sam: A hoarder?

Sam: All right already, I'll be over tonight. After work.

Sebastian: ...no. I meant like having expensive stuff only because you want to show it off. Not a house full of garbage.

Sebastian: Cool Cool.

[underthesebby-blog]

texts | sambastian

Sam: Isn't a lush a girl who drinks a lot? I could be wrong though.

Sam: Tell me you have at least 1 Marvel movie on Bluray. IDC which one.

Sebastian: Oh. Maybe. What's the word for someone who has a lot of excess stuff for no reason?

Sebastian: Maybe. You'll have to come over and find out.

[underthesebby-blog]

texts | sambastian

Sam: How about a video game/movie/pizza thing? I saw that sweet setup you got, do ever actually watch movies or is it just for show?

Sebastian: I'm not that much of a lush. But yeah that sounds cool.

[underthesebby-blog]

texts | sambastian

Sam: Huh ... okay. Lemme know if you wanna hang out tonight then?

Sam: This isn't a sex thing, is it?

Sebastian: Can be. Doesn't have to be.

Sebastian: I'm just bored as fuck around here after work.

[underthesebby-blog]

texts | sambastian

Sam: Next time party.

Sam: Wait, you were serious?

Sebastian: I don't joke about people coming over.

Sebastian: Soon though.

[underthesebby-blog]

texts | sambastian

Sam: Dang, I wish I remembered that. She's hot.

Sam: Guess theirs always next time, I mean, if there's gonna be a next time.

Sebastian: Next time party or next time Rapunzel? Cause I don't really have any say on that second one.

Sebastian: You never came over and now it's midnight and that makes me sad.

[underthesebby-blog]

texts | sambastian

Sam: I did? What /else/ did I do at the party?

Sebastian: Well from what I saw, you had a real fucking good time. Made out with Rapunzel a bunch.

[underthesebby-blog]

texts | sambastian

Sam: Okay, I know I'm not a genius but even I could figure that one out.

Sam: When did I give you my number?

Sebastian: At... the party?

[underthesebby-blog]

texts | sambastian

Sam: Wait, what? Why?

Sebastian: Cause then... we'd both be in the same place.

[xoxogossipgleek]

Text: Evaaaans. Where are you?

Text: I’m in my dorm. Where are YOU, huh?

[underthesebby-blog]

Text: I'm in my apartment. You should be here too.

[underthesebby-blog]

Literally my least favorite part of this job. Like… don’t eat a corn dog before you ride Space Mountain. It’s pretty logical. 

[heathermu]

I feel like once people enter the park all there logic goes out the window and it’s all about how much can they do at once. Even throwing up all over the place.

The poor dry cleaners probably just is so used to it by now it doesn’t even phase them.

[underthesebby-blog]

Want to get their money's worth, I guess. At least we don't have to clean the costumes, right?

[underthesebby-blog]

They’re… deer. It’s right there in the name… 

[padfxxt]

Santa would just call them that so no one tries to flog them on the black market for their delicious milk

[underthesebby-blog]

Flog...? What the hell are you on and where can I get some?