Christ No--- AU {Jax & Red}
A week. Had it really only been a week? God without him there it felt like time crawled by. Days were tortuously long as she slaved behind the bar and in the kitchen without that ray of sunshine that was Jaxâs smile meeting her every day. And thatâs what it was to her, because without it, she fell back into darkness. Yet even cast into darkness, and worked to exhaustion Red couldnât sleep at night. No, sheâd grown too used to Jax finding his way into her bed in one form or another and keeping her nightmares away after sheâd wake his light sleeping with her thrashing about. His presence always soothed her back to peaceful dreams, but sheâd become a bit dependent on it. With him gone â- well she was quite frankly a wreck. She looked and felt like a wreck too. So much so that either from lack of sleep, or just simply missing him so much, sheâd grown rather ill in a matter of days until she had to close the roadhouse, dose herself with meds, and basically black herself out.Â
How long sheâd slept was beyond her, but she was having a pretty intense dream. Jax was back and atop her. His hands upon her body, hips grinding into her in a slow dry hump, and his lips working their way down her neck. Red arches and moans softly, âMmm Jaxâ- more.â She purred writhing under him, butâ- he stopped. Thatâs when Red began to come around more clearly, and the smell of alcohol hit her. It wasnât whiskey either.Not Jax.Her drug dazed mind hit hard with the realization that sheâd not been dreaming. Sheâd been in a medicated haze.Â
âWho?âDimitri growled against her skin. He was obviously drunk and though heâd never hurt her before, had in fact protected her from her abusive ex even, she still had a shot of panic that heâd practically been fucking her while she wasnât really lucid.Â
âWolf!â Her voice was shrill with an edge of frantic fear. âWha- what are ya? Get off me! Get out!â She shoved at her âhusbandâ and slips out from under him, scrambling off the bed she hits the floor and backs away on her backside til she meets a wall with a slight âthudâ. Her blurry eyes were wide as she tried to focus on him.
He sat up, adjusting his arousal and stands looming over her with furrowed brows. âDonât be acting like Iâd be striking you my Red one. You know I wouldnât. And donât be being so disgusted looking with me. Once you were having a good time with Wolf. This time too I think, yes? Now you saying this other manâs name? Iâll be getting out this time. But best not to let me catch thisJax. Or heâll be unable to service you again.â His Russian accent thick with drink, and he once more adjusted himself before turning to storm out with only a slight stumble from his over indulgence. âAnd best not be letting others hear this name from you. Youâre stillmywife.Everyonemust know this. Deal is deal Red!â He casts over his shoulder before fumbling down the stairs, and heading towards the motel section off to the side of the roadhouse.
With her heart in her throat Red curls up upon herself and cries. She felt so stupid. For taken so much to make her sleep. For thinking sheâd been with Jax. For thinking Dimitri would hurt her. And now.. fuck now he knew about Jax. At leastâ- if he remembered his drunken antics he would. âOh god please donât let him remember! Pleaseâ please.â Red began to actually pray that Dimitri wouldnât remember his horribly inappropriate act and subsequent nugget of dangerous information.
Oh she missed Jax. Wolf would have never of pulled that with a real one in her bed. âHurryhomeJaxâ She choked on a sob before she buried her face in her knees to muffle her cries, hoping sheâd not wake Uri down the hall and have to explain any of this.
God why couldn't the tears stop falling? They continued falling from his eyes, soaking the table almost, which was shaking with the force of his shuddering. He refused to make a sound though, his jaw kept tightly clenched as he tried to regather himself and at least be somewhat functional. But with a shattered heart how could he do anything? Even move from this spot? The one thing he had never thought he'd have to worry about with her had happened, she had slept with a man he thought she didn't have any feelings for. Fuck he was an idiot! How could he have thought that things would be different for him now? Of course she didn't love him, she couldn't. How many times had the gray faced people come in and tell him he was an abomination to her? Something she feared and couldn't love? Wasn't this proof she didn't love him? For some time his thoughts continued to down-spiral this way until he wasn't even sure what time it was. Or hell, had a day passed? Couldn't have though, because it wasn't morning out but the day was getting darker. Or so he noticed when he finally lifted his head to cast a look out of the window.
Another shudder wracked his frame. Maybe they were done now. Maybe he could go tell her that he was leaving and didn't have to worry about him being in the way of her happiness now. That she could be with her husband and they'd have a perfect and happy life together---the one he had hoped for with her. Choking back the sob that wanted to escape he pushed himself up off the table. His legs felt like jello and lead all at once, making him stumble for a moment as he reached for his bag that had fallen to the ground. Once he had gotten the strap up and over his arm he trudged his way back to Red's quarters. Halfway there he paused, catching the scent of Dimitri---the man wasn't with her anymore. Thank god, that would make things easier because this was going to be hard enough. The bastard didn't even know about him thank God so he wouldn't give Red any trouble for it. As he continued on he felt dread settle into the pit of his stomach. What would he do now? Go back home, probably. They wold all wonder why he wasn't out traveling the world or with the nice red-head he told them all about. Naturally he would lie and say that things just didn't work out or something. He couldn't think straight right now, not for something clever. But he'd think of something. God he didn't want to do this---
But he had to go on, so he did. When he finally reached Red's room, he sniffled quietly and wiped at his eyes to try and get rid of any evidence of his crying. It was no use though, she would be able to see the tear tracks and bloodshot eyes. The door was open, and with his head down eyes averted he leaned against the frame, almost heavily. "---I uh---" great way to awkwardly start off. "---I saw. I'm sorry Red I didn't mean to intrude on you and your hu--husband. I---I'll get out of your way now. Stuff is all packed still so you won't have to worry about me being here long---" he trailed off.
