my big fat diary

TW: ed&stuff | 22 | she/her

[undigestedthoughts]

the new tumblr’s logo really said “skinny” lol

[undigestedthoughts]

my mum died 5 days ago and i know that this mourning has the power to make me gain or lose a lot of weight

[undigestedthoughts]

after trying recovery i’m (un)happy to announce that i’m back mf

[undigestedthoughts]

not my scale adding 1,5kg to my weight in one night lmao

[undigestedthoughts]

i asked my bf if he could see that i have lost 2kg and he said no. I’m gonna kill myself

[apocalypseswhore]

me and the girls who still use tumblr in 2022

[undigestedthoughts]

i’m so fucking angry right now. My mum has been rummaging through my things, finding a diary where i basically described my body goal, my ed experience and so on, and she had the AUDACITY to scream at me. Not in a “i love you and i’m worried about you”. She is, once again, trying to victimize herself and make me the villain of the story, telling my whole family that i’m a bitch, a stupid and so on. I’m so sick of this

[undigestedthoughts]

i think that the spirit of ana came to me today.

my fiance wanted to celebrate valentines day by eating a pizza with me. Anyways, to be able to go home tonight I had to take the bus at 8:40pm, so, to make sure the pizza could arrive on time, my boyfriend called the pizzeria two hours earlier my bus’s arrive. I had already started having a mental breakdown but hey, in the end they didn't make it in time. And now here I am, writing about my encounter with the spirit of ana, on valentine's day, while making sure my bus don’t stop my stop

[undigestedthoughts]

a lot of blogs that i follow are deactivated or not posting anymore, and i really hope it’s because they are recovering. In case: good luck >3

[iftye]

[undigestedthoughts]

ehi siri, search “how to avoid a mental breakdown over your boyfriend’s chocolate on valentines day”

[undigestedthoughts]

sometimes i feel like i’m recovering and then boom: it’s bad again

[undigestedthoughts]

tumblr and twitter ed’s community really are two different worlds

[undigestedthoughts]

mfs be like “what that mouth do?” idk bro, lie about my weight?

[undigestedthoughts]

*me doing a chapped lips mask with honey and sugar*

my brain: BuT hOw MaNy CaLoRiE-

[boypussyomad-deactivated2024061]

i love this community but you know what i really love? when people leave. when they say "i'm out, i want to recover." it brings me peace knowing that someone might just be okay, and hope that the rest of us might follow in their footsteps.

so if you're leaving, here's to you.

if you're not ready to leave, here's to you too.

and remember, wherever you are in your journey, you deserve to recover and be happy.

[undigestedthoughts]

is it just me or i see myself skinnier while doing workout?