..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ. arirang // jjk ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ.
8: change // series m.list // no taglist
note: HAUWHAHAA ... i've been waiting to drop this one
//
everything began so slowly.
now, it feels like it’s all happening all at once. at first, it was the crib. picking the crib together was a whole process itself that took three days for you two you pick, agree, and order. then, it arrived in pieces.
at first it didn’t annoy you. a huge cardboard box showed up at his condo door one afternoon while you were studying on the couch, half listening to him complain about work. the delivery guys wheeled them in and jungkook felt so much excitement.
but the more time passed, it felt like the deliveries got slower.
until one day, you noticed all the parts were there… and not because the boxes were stacked up to the ceiling but because in jungkook’s initiative and impatient nature—he had put the crib together while you were asleep.
he placed the crib in his office space, insisting that the second bedroom was too far from you two. you insisted not to use his office because you know how important his work is to him… but he shook his head and said that he doesn’t mind change. then, before you knew it—tiny socks were folded on his desk, stacks of diapers were shoved beside his printer, and the baby monitor is awkwardly sitting next to his computer set up like it belonged there. like it was a part of it. it was strange seeing pieces of a life that didn’t exist before slowly carve space for themselves.
it’s like the condo was learning how to breathe differently.
like you were too.
… and then there was the key.
the stupid freaking key that triggered your flight, fight, and fright.
jungkook had given it to you last week. he gave you no big speech, instead, a moment between you two that made your chest tighten. you were standing by the door, pulling on your shoes when he pressed something cold into your palm.
“take it,” he said, already turning away like it didn’t matter.
you had stared down at the metal for a long moment.
“… i don’t think i need it—”
“you’re here every day,” he reasons. “the passcode lock keeps glitching on you. you need a key. i want you here.”
jungkook offers you a reassuring smile, before kissing the top of your head. with that, your fingers curled around it.
you didn’t say anything else.
but it sat heavy in your pocket the entire day.
today is the first time you’re actually going to use it.
jungkook’s meeting is running overtime, and your class ended early. so you sat in your favourite café, getting some schoolwork done. in the middle of it, a notification popped up about the internship you applied to months ago.
dear ____, congratulations! it is with great delight that we offer you the position…
without hesitation, you accepted it.
then you texted jungkook the news, and he insisted on a celebratory dinner at his place. you called ambi, who immediately reserved you for the weekend so the two of you could celebrate properly. after sending a few more excited messages to friends, you finally head out of the café and toward his place.
the hallway outside his condo feels quieter than usual.
maybe it’s just you.
maybe it’s the nerves sitting weirdly in your chest.
your hand drifts to the curve of your stomach without thinking. a habit that’s become second nature these days. grounding. reassuring.
you can’t help thinking about how good everything has been lately. how grateful you are for every small and big shift in your life. how jungkook has been softer than usual. more present. how every moment with him lately feels heavier somehow—like there’s more meaning packed into it.
more truth.
for the most part, you can’t stop thinking about how much he feels like he’s yours.
how you catch him looking at your stomach sometimes when he thinks you aren’t paying attention. how his eyes drift to your lips like he’s trying to memorize them. how—when the two of you have sex in the middle of the night—he’s so much more passionate.
in the way he kisses you.
in the way he fucks you.
in the way he moans your name like it’s the only sound his body remembers how to make... like it’s a desperate plea. a quiet, aching insistence that you understand how close he is to you.
that he’s pressed against your skin in every way possible. every inch.
that every part of his attention—every one of those complicated, tangled neuropathways in his brain—is fixed on you.
that he’s falling for you.
in every possible way there is to fall.
to trip.
to stumble.
to crash right at your feet and stay there.
offering himself completely. he’s been different. you’ve been different.
everything has been different.
as you pull the key from your pocket, you stare at it for a second. even this tiny piece of metal feels heavy in your palm... it changes everything between you. there’s so much trust wrapped up in it. so much quiet certainty and it scares you in so many ways.
but what is love without a little risk?
without a little fear?
so you slide it into the lock.
click.
the door opens with a soft creak.
the condo is dim, the late afternoon light spilling lazily through the windows. your bag slips off your shoulder as you push the door closed behind you. stepping inside, you glance around and call out.
“jungkook?”
he should be home by now.
from the corner of your eye, you catch something shift near the hallway.
“jungkook? i thought your meeting was running longer than—”
your throat goes dry.
something inside you drops straight to the pit of your stomach as a woman steps into the living room.
both of you freeze.
she blinks at you.
“…hi?”
you blink back, caught off guard.
“s-sorry—are you…” you hesitate, glancing briefly toward the hallway again. “are you the cleaner? i don’t think we were expecting you this week.”
her face softens immediately and you regret the words the second they leave your mouth.
she’s not the cleaner.
of course she isn’t.
she’s pretty and polished. the kind of effortless, expensive-looking woman who makes you suddenly aware that you’re still in your school sweater and sneakers. her hair is pulled back neatly, and she’s wearing a trench coat you recognize instantly.
you know it’s expensive because you once stood outside the store with ambi, staring at it through the window. imagining yourself wearing it. imagining a more elegant, older, and wiser version of yourself in it.
compared to your imagination, the reality is that she wears it better.
she suits it more.
“i’m… i’m sorry. i—”
her smile straightens slightly. not dramatic. just enough that you can tell she’s collected herself but something in the room shifts anyway.
something subtle.
like something inside her quietly collapsed.
“no,” she says gently, shaking her head. “don’t apologize. i’m not the cleaner.”
a small pause.
“i’m sara. jungkook’s—”
she stops herself mid sentance. then, her mouth tightens into an awkward smile.
“you know what… i’m sorry,” she corrects herself softly. “i came to grab some files. i still had my key, and i thought it would be easier to come while he was working so i could avoid running into him.”
her fingers tighten around the strap of her bag.
“i did let him know i was coming by,” she adds quickly. “maybe we just miscommunicated on the timing.”
your stomach twists.
her eyes flick toward the hallway behind her.
“but my office has a crib in it,” she says slowly, confusion creeping into her voice. sara lets out a quiet laugh, though it sounds forced. “and there are boxes of diapers in there too.”
she glances back at you.
“did his brother have another baby?”
you blink.
then shake your head.
“n-no. he still has the one.”
without thinking, your hand settles protectively over the curve of your stomach as you shrug off your jacket and set your bag down by the door.
sara’s gaze drops immediately.
to your hand.
to your stomach.
the silence stretches.
too long.
too loud.
“oh.”
she says it like the realization knocked the air out of her lungs... like she’s been blindsided. like she doesn’t know whether she’s been betrayed… or simply replaced.
you don’t say anything.
you don’t know what you’re supposed to say.
her eyes slowly lift back to your face.
“i…” she hesitates, forcing out a small smile. “i didn’t even know he was seeing someone. i asked jin the other week and h-he... he didn't mention you.”
the words sit there between you.
you’re not sure what expression you’re making, but sara studies your face like she’s trying to place you somewhere in her memory.
maybe wondering if she’s seen you before.
maybe wondering how long you’ve been here.
how long you’ve been in jungkook’s life… and if you were there while she was in it. her mind races with thoughts she feared during the breakup.
she looks at you—really looks at you… and feels insecure.
your cheeks are naturally flushed in the shade of pink she spends hours looking for in makeup stores. your eyes are big with this sultry warmth she always envied from other girls. she always wanted her baby with jungkook to get his eyes because they’re so big and round… but as she looks at you, she hopes this baby has yours.
it’s a weird stab in the chest.
it’s this weird gut wrenching feeling that she can’t quite navigate through. there’s so many layers of jealousy and grief that melt into each other… and it does’t help that you’re clearly far along in the pregnancy, yet you look so pretty.
so cute.
so fucking young.
you shift your weight slightly, one hand instinctively resting over the curve of your stomach. her eyes drop to the movement… and then stay there. she takes another moment to take it all in.
“d-do you mind me asking… how far along are you?” she asks quietly.
“six months.”
her eyebrows lift.
“oh.” she nods slowly. “c-congratulations.”
the condo falls quiet again.
suddenly you’re aware of everything. the hum of the fridge, the ticking of the wall clock, the faint creak of the floor when sara shifts her weight; and once she see it—she can’t unsee it.
the baby swing near the couch.
the folded onesies on the armchair.
the nursery that used to be her office.
you clear your throat.
“… do you want a cup of tea?”
she blinks at you like the offer surprises her.
“oh—you don’t have to—”
“it’s okay,” you say as your feet are already moving toward the kitchen.
honestly, you’re not sure why you insisted.
but something in you refuses to let this moment end with her standing there like a stranger in what used to be her home.
you open one of the cabinets.
“the mugs are actually on the next shelf,” sara says gently behind you.
you didn’t even hear her walk up.
your hand pauses on the cabinet door... not because she corrected you but because of the way she said it.
like muscle memory.
like she’s said those words here a hundred times before.
you open the cabinet anyway.
mugs.
lined neatly in a row.
when you glance toward the cabinet she pointed to—you see baby bottles instead. small ones. sterilized. formula containers stacked beside them.
sara notices it at the same time.
“… oh.”
you offer her a small smile, grabbing two mugs.
“i guess he moved them.”
she nods slowly.
“… yeah.”
her voice is quieter now.
thoughtful.
you gesture for her to sit at the island while you fill the kettle. the sound of running water fills the silence between you.
when you click the kettle on, you can feel her gaze on your back studying you.
when you turn, you finally take her in properly.
she’s beautiful.
but she looks nothing like you.
your style is softer. instinctive.
under her coat she’s wearing a red sweater and dark jeans. her jewelry is bold. her makeup minimal but precise. she looks polished in a way that makes you feel younger than you already are.
she looks jungkook’s age.
thirty-something.
someone who knows exactly who she is.
“… can i ask you something?” sara says suddenly.
“sure.”
she hesitates.
then—
“how old are you?”
“twenty-four.”
her expression flickers.
“oh.”
she raises a hand quickly.
“i don’t mean that judgmentally. i’m just… doing the math.”
you laugh awkwardly.
“yeah. people do that a lot.” you press your lips together. “it surprised a lot of our friends too. his parents tried to act cool about it… they really did. but i could tell they were doing the math in their heads.”
“twelve years,” she murmurs quietly.
her eyes flick to your stomach again.
“that’s… a big gap.”
a pause.
“especially with a baby on the way.”
your hand drifts protectively over your bump again.
“… it wasn’t planned.” you say. “it just happened... and we both kind of just... knew.”
sara nods slowly.
“life rarely goes the way we think it will.”
you turn around and pour the water carefully into the mugs. steam curls up between you as you add the tea bags in.
“i just got back from traveling actually,” she says casually, like the thought just occurred to her. you glance up.
“yeah?”
“five months,” she says. “i needed the break.” then, it’s like her exterior breaks a little. like she’s letting you in. for a moment, it feels like you’re gossiping with the it girl from school. you feel… validated and of importance for some reason. she leans lightly against the counter as she continues; “i’m starting work again next week.”
“that sounds nice,” you say honestly. “i’ve always wanted to travel. where did you go?”
her eyes lift.
“yeah? i went all around southeast asia. my favourite part was bali. i think it really is a place for healing! i did so much yoga there, i was practically upside down or on one leg for majority of my time there.”
“did you get sick? i heard people get bali tummy there. something about the food?”
she shakes her head.
“no, i didn’t. i was lucky! so many people warned me about that too. they kept insisting that i travel to europe instead. i wanted to go but it didn’t feel right. like nothing was calling me there.”
you nod. “yeah. europe is on my list. i really want to go to—”
“paris?”
your fingers freeze around the mug.
slowly, you look up.
“…yeah.”
sara smiles faintly.
but there’s something fragile in it.
“we never went.”
you don’t say anything.
she shrugs lightly.
“it was his dream trip.”
her voice is casual. too casual.
“but every time i brought it up, he had work. a meeting. something more important.” her gaze drifts toward the counter. “after a while, i stopped asking.”
your chest tightens.
“isn’t that strange?” she murmurs. “that it was his dream trip… but it stopped being one when i was part of the plan.”
you swallow.
that doesn’t sound like the jungkook you know.
the one who sends you airbnb listings at midnight.
the one who insists on spontaneous weekend trips.
the one who built a crib himself just because he wanted to.
“i don’t really know what to say, sara.”
she studies you again.
really studies you.
“i guess people change,” she says softly. “but don’t you think change takes time?”
a beat.
“falling out of love… falling in love… it’s the same thing.” her eyes flick back to you. “it’s slow... quiet... it doesn’t happen overnight.”
the words land heavier than she says them. before you can process them, her gaze drifts toward the window.
she blinks.
“they’re alive.”
you follow her gaze to the plants.
you laugh softly.
“yeah.”
“that’s surprising.”
“why?”
“jungkook used to forget to water them constantly.”
you shake your head.
“not anymore.” you shrug lightly. “he waters them every morning.”
sara goes quiet.
“… huh.”
she looks at them again.
“… that’s new.”
“yeah. i mentioned they looked like they were dying a few months ago. the next day, he just woke up and started watering them. they look good, don't they? alive. new. loved.”
your words catch her off guard.... then, something in her expression softens.
“i’m sorry,” she says quietly. “i know this is… strange.” her fingers tighten together. you notice the way it does. “i feel strange.”
she exhales slowly.
“i didn't mean to offend you—”
“n-no. please, you did not. you have not... i’m just trying to figure out where you fit into all of this. s-sorry. i don't even think i asked for your name...”
“___,” you tell her.
“___...” she repeats. “please don't think i'm out to get you or anything... it's just...”
your throat tightens, preparing yourself for what she could say next.
“we were together for five years,” she says softly. “this home… it was ours. it’s a lot to walk back into and realize it isn’t anymore.”
a pause.
“and to be honest… you’re a little flustering.”
you blink.
“you look like the kind of woman i always imagined he’d end up with.”
another pause.
“pretty.”
her voice lowers.
“young.”
“… sara—”
“you look like someone he would change for,” she continues quietly. her eyes flick down to your stomach again. “i don’t hate you,” she says quickly. “i don’t blame you. i want you to know that.”
her voice tightens slightly.
“i’m just trying to understand how he moved on so quickly.”
she hesitates.
“we broke up in early april.”
her eyes lift slowly.
“you’re six months pregnant.”
the air goes still.
“when did you two—”
“mid may,” you say quietly. “the first time was mid may.”
her face goes blank at the realization.
it took jungkook one month to move on. you got pregnant in september... how the hell has this never come up before?
your fingers tighten around the mug.
you step forward to hand it to her—but your grip slips.
“be careful—”
in a split second, the hot tea spills over the rim, splashing across the floor. the mug hits the tile with a loud clatter.
both of you flinch.
at the same time, the door opens and the sound of jungkook's footsteps echo in.
“___?” he calls out for you. “did something—”
jungkook stops dead in the doorway. his eyes take in the entire scene in one breath.
you.
the spilled tea.
and sara.
something dark flashes across his face.
“shit.”
he crosses the kitchen in two long strides.
his hand closes around your arm, gently but urgently pulling you away from the spill.
then he drops to his knees.
his hands move over your arms, your wrists, your stomach—checking for burns, panic tightening his voice.
“are you okay?” he asks rather sternly. “no. d-don't bend. i'll clean it up. did you get burned—” his fingers turn your hands over carefully. checking every inch... like nothing else in the room matters. “are you okay, baby?”
and just like that... the tension between you and sara disappears and is replaced by something heavier.
in all the years sara knew jungkook, she had never seen him fall to his knees for anything.
never seen him look at someone like they were the only thing anchoring him to the earth.
never seen him love someone so openly.
so instinctively.
so completely.
and because of this; jungkook breaks sara's heart again.
FUCKING DJKDKDLSLSODKKDND I AM ALMOST CRYING THIS WAS SO HEARTBREAKING AND SAD FOR SARA AND SO EMOTIONALLY HEAVY FOR YN I AM READY TO BURST INTO TEARS
