Depressed and Alienated @unfamiliar-ghostly-system - Tumblr Blog

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unfamiliar-ghostly-system

dissociation so bad you feel 2D

unfamiliar-ghostly-system

that moment when you're a video game character with a health bar or something

dissociation so bad you feel 2D

mcpayne

jessica chastain and her oscars

heylsgowt

expressions-of-nature

by Tatyana Biryukova

expressions-of-nature

by Hanna Lazar

allthefights

Oscar Isaac as Joshua Martín on Beef → 2x08 “It Will Stay This Way and You Will Obey”

ontologicallyevilseme

IM GONNA CLAW MY FUCKING SKIN OFF

ocdiscourse

gnomesofgeroma

something that worries me very slightly about modern willogenic spaces is the “everybody get more plural NOW!!” attitude, which is culturally pretty new, and while it does promote self-acceptance and highlight the positive sides of an experience that isn’t always positive, it can still have some negative effects on both endo + traumagen systems interested in willomancy. talking about that isn’t an anti endo thing but just a pro-endo-wanting-endo-spaces-to-be-good thing btw. in this essay i will

back in the days when we went through syscovery the attitude was not “have an idea for a headmate? fuck it, make them now!” but “if you’re going to create a headmate, you need to be absolutely 100% certain beforehand that you’re going to respect them regardless of who they turn out to be & whether or not that aligns with your expectations, even and especially if they’re a fictive who ends up nothing like the character they’re based on and/or completely disconnects from them, 100% certain you’re going to be able & willing to give them time in the body [if switching is possible, and back in those days it was heavily desired and encouraged for those who couldn’t switch to build the skill], 100% certain you’re going to spend the necessary time and emotional energy engaging with them, fleshing them out until they can figure out the rest, interacting with them even when you get no responses back for hours, days, potentially many months without giving up and allowing them to dissipate out of frustration, 100% certain you can handle the new existential ramifications of your own new existence as a headmate,” etc etc etc. if you were flippant about thoughtform creation you would get downvoted or disliked into oblivion, some of the comments would be calling you empathyless, akin to a murderer if your thoughtform dissipated because of you

there was definitely a time when willomancy was seen as risky, a HUGE life decision that should be given the same consideration as having a real, physical child (this was a SUPER common talking point), and that wasn’t necessarily better than some of the more relaxed modern attitudes because it had the effect of scaring people away from willomancy who may have benefitted from it but it also meant that a lot of the systems who DID get into willomancy did so with a good sense of the gravity of the situation, acceptance of any and all deviations, with a lot of thought already put into it, a lot of time + energy set aside, a lot of care already generated for a being that didn’t exist yet and may not exist for months to years. you didn’t usually find willo-ed fragments because if you intentionally left a thoughtform half-complete that’d be really frowned-upon (as a thoughtform who remembers bits and pieces of the time other alters were creating me i can attest that this is not a fun state to be in)

but now i do see some willo-ed fragments around who barely are allowed to front or further develop themselves outside of picking stock traits from curated lists online and i feel a bit sorry for them. there are probably some oldheads out there who hate the idea of BAH blogs and i don’t agree, i don’t HATE them, but i do feel iffy about the idea of that being the only method some people use for willomancy and/or fleshing out traumagenic fragments. because even for those of us who do have those traumagenic fragments, trying to flesh them out by choosing to label them aliengender or aggressive or whatever is only going to help you so much. what are the nuances of their aliengender identity? under what circumstances are they aggressive, what triggers do they have, how does their aggression manifest, why & how is it such a fundamental part of their person that they’re labeled an “aggressive person?” if you’re a system with low communication that makes this process much more difficult if not impossible. if you decide a fragment should be a traumaholder and they weren’t before, you could open them up to being exposed to memories & experiences purposefully hidden from them. these are all questions and considerations old school willomancers would make, write both long lists of traits AND explanations/descriptions for them, put their willo in various hypothetical scenarios to test & figure these traits out more intuitively.

i’m worried that we’re becoming a bit too lax about willo creation and that the resultant thoughtforms & systems will suffer for it. i have no way of knowing how people are using these blogs or any of the popular willo methods, and of course there have always been people who didn’t take it seriously and ended up hurting their thoughtforms & themselves even back when we were warned over and over and over about it, but with the modern attitude of “just make your head blorbo, don’t worry too much about it!!!!” i find myself wondering if there are more willomancers like that today than before. who are struggling or maybe should never have become willomancers in the first place because they don’t have the adequate resources to manage the process and weren’t warned about it or encouraged to give it some more thought.

while it’s a net positive that plurality is gaining acceptance & being seen as less of a life sentence of misery and more as another way of life that can be miserable but can also be desirable, fulfilling, satisfying—i don’t think we should allow it to be seen as something super easy, risk-free, harmless. because it isn’t. it isn’t like raising a real-world child but it is like taking care of and nurturing a whole new person, and if you don’t pour into them what they need to grow, they’re going to stagnate and that can cause a wide range of problems for yourself and/or the rest of your system.

i don’t think this means traumagenic & disordered systems should avoid willomancy or endo spaces though. we went through syscovery mainly in willo spaces, working together to build a couple thoughtforms before discovering both long-buried and quietly active traumagenic alters & getting diagnosed. i’m grateful for that because it allowed us to explore ourselves without feeling the shame a lot of syscovering disordered systems feel. systemhood was destigmatized for us way before we discovered we were a system ourselves and we have willo communities to thank for it. that being said, should most traumagenics & disordered systems who already know they’re a system be extra careful about willomancy? fuck yes. we inherently have less resources to dish out and many of us who don’t have well-functioning gatekeepers or gatekeepers at all will have a hard time intentionally allocating body time for the willo. you’re taking the chance that this willo will turn out to be some sort of person who’ll cause problems with other alters, not just whoever they meet outside the body. if you’re very destabilized internally attempting willomancy can further destabilize you.

the TLDR is this: we used to scare people away from willomancy way too much, but now we maybe don’t scare them enough. it’s not always an easy, fun, happy, fast process, and if you’re already a traumagenic &/or disordered system you especially need to be mindful of what willomancy requires from you. BAH blogs aren’t bad but if that’s your one and only method for engaging in willomancy that’s concerning and they aren’t even really that helpful for fleshing out fragments beyond giving you an outline of identity labels to work with, many of which might end up discarded anyway

shelix1437

RadNormal 🌈🌺

A queer label and stance of being radically normal. This label/stance was created in spite of all the radqueer — including adjacent — labels showing up in more recent times. It is the belief and willingness to stamp out any radqueers and harmful ideologies out of the queer community;alongside other communities affected by radqueers. Radically normal embraces the freedom of expression and the power to be aggressive to those who are harmful and pushing rhetoric that proves stereotypes to marginalized communities. We reclaim the word normal as a means to make being queer normalized, while pushing out harmful rhetoric — most harmful rhetoric (radqueers, pedophilia, darkshipping, etc) is not normal;they try to frame themselves as if they are.

RadNormal stances - 🌈🌺

RadNormal is against the following : 💢 Pedophiles, Zoophiles, Necrophiles + Harmful paraphiliac disordered individuals 💢 Pro-contact harmful paraphiliac disordered individuals — being non-contact still has no excuse to indulge in harmful behaviour whether it be fictional or not! 💢Radqueers, Xenosatanists, TransIDS — “good-faith” TransIDS are on very thin ice and can depend on the individual encompassing the transID 💢Proshippers, Darkshippers, Lolicons, Shotacons, Kodocons 💢Endogenic, Willogenic and Non-trauma “systems” 💢Pro-Censorship, Racism, Ableism, Queerphobia, Terfs, AI

💢Harass minors in these communities — it’s not exactly their fault

RadNormal ideologies and beliefs : 💮Being aggressive and rude to individuals listed above — they serve no place anywhere 💮Call out wrongful behavior and keep doing so until proper accountability and justice is brought 💮Keep children, victims and minorities safe from harmful communities whilst giving them a voice to speak out 💮Accepting anyone including past members as a form of change — unless harm has been done, then they are not redeemable 💮While mainly queer, bring attention to other problems that are not as mainstream — spotlight being put onto real life problems, like genocide, racism, censorship, political and ableist problems + etc 💮Being anti-censorship and acknowledging the misuse of it in media for the wrong reasons 💮Embrace being an “anti” and angering harmful communities in spite 💮We DO care about discourse 💮Educate those of dangerous communities and guide those out 💮Accept Mogai+, Liom, Qai+ and contradictory labels

💮Pro-Furry, Therian, Otherkin, Alterhuman, Non-Human

RadNormal Misconceptions :

📂 Neutral on harassment but leaning away from it — it’s bound to happen, act right when something wrong happens

📂 Whenever someone has hurt another, while depending on the context, generally they aren’t redeemable as they have essentially became someone’s trauma; which is why we don’t typically allow ex-members if they have hurt someone and has made an impact

📂 RadNormal IS supposed to be a safe space for ex-members, we are just trying to kick out those who dare hurt others and other communities

📂 While RadNormal is typically against harmful paras, we allow those in the community if they are fully anti-contact (meaning they do not indulge in their attraction source) and recover from.

RadNormal flag color meanings - 🌈🌺

💬Black - The aggressive natural hatred for radqueers, child predators and harmful people alike 💬White - The acceptance, unity and love between individuals under the radically normal label and be kind to those around 💬Hot pink - Awarness to victims, children, minorities and marginalized groups 💬Light tan - To love oneself for being a proud “anti” agaisnt objectively harmful and predatory ideas and preaching their ideas 💬Cyan - The freedom to be freely queer and divide harmful labels and individuals from the queer community 💬Blue - The action and support of calling out and exposing real problems that cause harm to people and communities 💬Gradient - The knowledge of doing what is right to everyone and yourself and making the world a better place to rid of harmful and predatory individuals

RadNormal emoji combo meaning - 🌈🌺

Rainbow - To emphasize the queerness of being radically normal Hibiscus - To feel glory and feel pride of being an “anti”

sage-thee-herbmaster

I made a simplified and a non-gradient version for art purposes and further recognisability!

unfamiliar-ghostly-system

Taking this as a moment to talk about being anti-radqueer because I haven't in awhile.

Being pro-harassment cannot exist along side educating and guiding people of the radqueer community.

Grouping in non-radqueer things is harmful because it furthers the idea to radqueers that they are okay because there are "similar enough" groups AND it's triggering to people in these other groups who have past issues with radqueers or experienced anything they support.

A notable amount of them were vulnerable to manipulation... are young / mentally unwell and dealing with mental health issues that make that community feel like a safe place for these feelings.

I don't like radqueers but this is stupid. Harassing them makes them lean on what support they have more, hate anon/comments has never changed anyones mind, and normal is a really poor choice of word here...

#anti radqueers need to get it together because why is the tags full of shit about #trying to piss them off or talking about shit thats not even radqueer.#It's a harmful community made up mostly of severely unwell people and has a massive problem #with being pro-abuse.#^^^ reread that #WHY are you bringing up endos?#You see a community invested with fucking pro-contacts and you want to talk about endos and darkshippers????#I don't even like proshippers/darkshippers but they are not anywhere near that level of bad...

veryluckyclovers

let’s destroy negativity :D

missdictatorme

🌙 Fics 🌙

Yours, Mine Ours (One-shot)

Pairings: Marc Spector x F!Reader, Steven Grant x F!Reader

Summary: You fall asleep next to your boyfriend and wake up next to the other, who is looking confused at your little baby bump.

Cheer Me Up Before You Go Go (One-shot)

Pairing: Steven Grant x F!Reader

Summary: You have a crush on your sweet neighbour, and after Steven’s bad date emotions surface. As the sexual tension between you grows impossible to ignore, a third party joins the chat, so to speak.

Knight At The Museum

Pairings: Steven Grant x F!Reader, hints of Marc Spector x F!Reader

Summary: You are a frequent visitor of the museum who quickly befriended the kind hearted assistant of the gift shop. One day after staying a bit too long there, Steven offers to walk you home, but things take a dangerous turn when you two get attacked by a group of criminals.

Knight At The Museum - Part 2

Pairings: Marc Spector x F!Reader, Steven Grant x F!Reader

Summary: After finding out that the sweet gift shoppist whom you have a crush on is the city’s infamous vigilante, Steven tells you about another side of him you should be aware of too. What happens when you finally meet him?

Third One’s The Charm

Pairings: Moon Knight System x F!Reader (Jake focused)

Summary: Jake Lockley was fine. Really. Marc and Steven are happy with their girlfriend and he’s okay staying in the shadows. He’s used to staying in the shadows. He managed to stay hidden from the boys for years, but lately something makes him take control more and more. Or rather, someone makes him take control more and more.

Third One’s The Charm - Part 2

Pairings: Moon Knight System x F!Reader

Summary: After Jake finally introduced himself to you - so to speak - you thought it will go smoothly for him to meet the boys. That is until you notice the compromising marks Jake left on your body and it raises questions in Marc and Steven.

When The Dark Comes (One-shot)

Pairings: Moon Knight System x F!Vampire!Reader

Summary: Marc and Steven thought that after defeating Harrow and Ammit, the world and especially London will be finally safe. They soon realize that the city under their protection is going through dark times, when more and more dead bodies start to appear in different parts of the town.

Limitless (Finished - 12 Chapters)

Pairings: Moon Knight System x F!Reader

Summary: After you break up with your cheating boyfriend you move to another part of town. Being single while carrying a child under your heart is hard, but you recieve help and support from the most unexpected person, your grumpy neighbour.

The Thin Line (Oneshot)

Pairings: Moon Knight System x F!Reader

Summary: Steven and Marc are literally glowing with happiness since they were in a relationship with you. Jake is mostly annoyed and is constantly trying to make you leave. Marc and Steven are having none of it.

Triggered (Oneshot)

Pairing: Jake Lockley x F!Reader

Summary: During a rather heated love making session with Jake, he accidentally triggers to the front a long locked down memory of yours, which results in you having a panic attack.

Runaway Bride (Oneshot)

Pairing: Jake Lockley x F!Reader

Summary: Jake is hired to drive a bride to her wedding with a white limousine, then after the ceremony he has to take the freshly married couple back to the hotel for the wedding reception. What he didn’t count on was a change of plans.

Open My Eyes (Oneshot)

Pairings: Moon Knight System x F!Reader

Summary: Jake and Steven were more than happy when you agreed to be in a relationship with them, but Marc barely fronts when you’re near. Will he warm up to you over time?

Split (Oneshot)

Pairings: Moon Knight System x F!Reader

Summary: There are times when the boys feel like they lose control, but you’re always there to remind them that you’re there for them, no matter what.

Fate Brought Me To You (On hold)

Pairing: Virgin!Jake Lockley x Criminal!F!Reader

Summary: It was a quiet night for Jake and his taxi, with very few customers. That is, until one of the most important members of the underworld is requiring his aid.

Take Care Of Me Tonight (Oneshot)

Pairing: Jake Lockley x F!Reader

Summary: After a rough night Jake goes home to unwind with a bottle of whiskey, but it seems like it’s just making things worse. Until you get home.

Need (Oneshot)

Pairing: Marc Spector x F!Reader

Summary: He knows he is a bad man. The worst. Would a good man do this in this situation? No. And Steven would kill him for it. But he’s not here to stop him. He doesn’t even know Marc exists. It’s gonna be his secret. His dirty little secret.

The Pavlovian Response (Oneshot)

Pairing: Jake Lockley x F!Reader focused

Summary: No one knows why, but whenever he hears that damn sound he gets turned on instantly. Their body goes rigid if the other two is in control and he is forced to the front with a burning fire inside him that only you can put out.

The Shades Of The Moon (Oneshot)

Pairing: Virgin!Steven Grant x Fem!Reader

Summary: Steven’s dream is simple. He wants to be a tour guide. But Donna made it clear he has no chance achieveing that. That is until she gets fired and Steven gets a new boss. He is thrilled when you offer him the dream position, but what if he has to do something in return?

Discovery (Requested)

Pairing: Jake Lockley x Fem!Reader

Summary: You discover that Jake is reading an adult novel.

Serenade (Oneshot)

Pairing: Steven Grant x F!Reader

Summary: Steven and you have a fight and drunk you say things to him that you don’t really mean. After feeling like a total ass you suddenly have the wonderful idea to serenade him.

The Power Of Love (Oneshot)

Pairing: Moon Knight System x F!Reader

Summary: You live a quiet life, not really feeling like you belong to anywhere. You go to work then go home to your empty apartment and that’s about it. For comfort, you read your favourite comic book, Moon Knight, which is criminally underrated in your opinion. It doesn’t even have any merch which is devastating, so you take matters in your own hands and make some dolls out of your favourite characters: Marc, Steven and Jake. Your life takes an interesting turn when unexplainable things start happening in your apartment.

Forget Me -> Not (Oneshot)

Pairing: (mainly) Jake Lockely x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and the boys (uhm…) decided to break up after the fights became more and more frequent in your relationship. Marc was mostly disappointed, Steven was sad and Jake… Jake was bitter. And angry. So when you send them a text weeks after the break up to ask them to collect their remaining stuff from your apartment, maybe Jake isn’t happy when he sees you might have moved on.

Sneaky (Oneshot)

Pairing: Jake Lockley x Fem!Reader

Summary: Jake is your cabbie, and idk he ends up between your legs thanks to your cat (???).

Say That You Love Me

Pairing: Yandere!Jake Lockley x Fem!Reader

Summary: You always dreamed about those silly rom-com men who worshipped the ground the main character walked on and loved only her and no one else. After a long day at work, you didn’t want anything else just a long hot bath and to watch one of those movies while you write a story like that in your head with you as the leading lady. What happens when a man like that except more terrifying and dangerous, borderline manic, approaches you and gives you his version of a romantic story? Gurl, you’re gonna find out the hard way.

Marry One, Get Two For Free

Pairings: Moon Knight System x F!Reader

Summary: What happens when an emotionally unavailable Marc and a date-vise very inexperienced Steven finds out that their badass third alter is hiding a lovely wifey from them?

Steven Grant x LongDistance!Fem!Reader NEW

Summary: you and Steven met online and became friends… then more…