Unhappy bride

I am a former recipient of bridal magazines. I have a wild imagination. Put that winning combination together and you get funny stories for the most important time in a bride's life.

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Despite her great efforts, no amount of tugging would lengthen the skirt.  

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When the groom's family mentioned that they wanted to smuggle Sarah into the ceremony, she didn't think it meant covering her head in a burlap sack. 

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Jenny happily strutted down the runway when she realized that she finally found a dress that could go from the chapel to the club.

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April walked away from everyone when she was informed that she would have to clean up all of the flower petals.

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Dana hoped the feather fascinator would distract from the lopsidedness of her wedding dress.

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If Katie had to hear another Flo Rida song during the pre-wedding photo shoot she would strangle someone.  

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Gwen didn't realize that being a zombie started at the waist and moved up.  

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It was her 10th marriage, and she had harnessed enough power from her nine late husbands for world domination.

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Dana snapped her fingers until she got a hand cramp, but it was no use the flower girl refused to be her human slave for the day.

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Hillary had been wearing SPF 90 since the engagement, but she would never achieve the level of whiteness she aspired to have.

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The photographer was becoming a pain in Lana's ass and she had no qualms of posing in this way to remind him. 

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The church was so hot that Anita had to drape her arm over her head to let her arm pits breathe.  

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Optical illusions were the new hot thing in wedding photography, and Charlene was instructed to make it look like she was propping her arm on the mantle.  

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Nora thought back to a simpler time before she was completely trussed up in tulle and lace.

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Watching the Exorcist gave Tammy some ideas on how to freak out her guests.

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Michelle finally perfected making her farts look like lace upon release.

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Cheryl's hairdresser advised her not to move to quickly or she would lose an eye.