UNI BLABS

Hot young students deliver shocking articles. I bet do you love it?

[uniblabs-blog]

the five leCcturers u ill meet in your LecTures

Hi there!!! so youve started UNiVersity! thats great! to set you on youre merry way here is a listof the five leCturers youre deeeeefinately gonna meat, as rocks! 

tHHE cheeky chappy!

this fun and silly chap will be cracking jokes left right amd centre! he’s a fun loving guy who loves to make the funny funny jokes!! he’s also a party animal so u might see him ROCKing out in life lozenge lolololol

T he serious OnE

this boye (oR girl i’M not a sexist, women can be very serioustoo) will be giving you very dull and boring and loooonge lectures on physics or history, BEwAre he is BORING and you should bring a ChEEkY VK to all there lecturez xxx

The BIGE BOYE

Not gonna make aNy Offenzive fatt jokes but this lecturerer is HUGE, they give great lectures thoughh becoz its actually NOt about youR Soce its vabout how ClevvEr yu are

The one with no face

he hasn’t gotten got a face

The one who loves body paint and its a bit inappropriate because they dont wear clothes to their lecctures

This crazzy chraracter doesn’t like clotes!! they just wanna paintt them bodies for art!! you do you buddy but pleaee cover your nipples its inapprpriate in a school environment xoxo

[uniblabs-blog]

WHICH SUBWoRLD SANDWHICH ARE YOU BASED ON YOUR CHOICE OF BREAD, FILLING, SALAD AND CONDIMENT

Yes we all like tWHICHhe subworld sandwhich but WHICHH is yoy’re favourite?? take this quickly quiz and find out once and for all!!

1. THE BREAD

a good subwhich is not complete without a good slice of bread (ot two!!). which do you chosse: italy, healthy italy, rough and redy, gently lubricated, or brown?

2. THE FILL

this is the fun bit of the sandwhich!! would you care to taste the beefy, sheep, the oink or good old healthy vegges.

3, SALLAD

no good subbie is completely without a dash of salads ! what will you chose? wil it be the lettice, the cookumber, the oniony or tomats.

4. condiment

this is the most CRUCIAL stage in selecting so take some care. yoy’re options are: ranchy, salsy, barbed q, the red one, eggish, mosit??

YOY’RE CHOICE IS IN!!

YOYR SUBWAY IS...

THE SANDWHICH ETERNAL

an excelent choics, this subworld is simply the best! plenty of meaty, plenty of eaty. enjoys!!!

[uniblabs-blog]

WHICH UNIVERSITY COURSE DO YOU STUDY BASED ON WHAT YOUR COURSE CONTENT IS

hey! so we here at UNI BLABS @ TUMBLR AND @ TWITTER AND @ FACEBOOK lovve to guess what you do! so in light of that we are going to guess what you do! thanks! 

STUDY BOOKS

do you know what these are? their are alot like paper, except they contain lots of it and have ink upon them. if you read these twice, or maybe three times a week you probably study english literature! wow what a course, good stuff! 

brain

so many of us have. and if you study this through different mediums and modules you probably study psycology! in turn, you love to know about what people do and ho they do it and why they do it! haha, we got you! surprise 

t h e e a r t h

so these big old boys are often very hard ;) no pun intendetudy gd haha, as i am currently erect. so if you study the earth you usually study geology! this is a good subject but it is mostly men. 

not letters, but not symbols. but these instead

we all use these. they are very important to our societal function. if you look at these when youre at university (not at life lounge haha! :) ) then you study mathmatic. it is a briliant subject and people who do it are nerdy though!

thank you

but we all kn the real reasonijng as to many study! thats because of these little devils. these erotic boys do a lot of good things to our brains, VKS1 i drink them.

thank you for the read.

[uniblabs-blog]

WHAT NOT TO SAY IN YOUR SEMINAR

So we’ve all been there, sat in a dull seminar, doing nothing, you want to liven it up. A cheeky bit of banter never hurt anyone, but here are a few things you definitely shouldn’t say - which will get any fresher red in the face! 

Number One: 

Shit i don’t care abouut this, I want a VK at LIVE LOUNGE, PRYZM, GLAM, OR ANOTHER HOT CARDIFF VENUE FOR STUDENTS.

Yeah, I know. Something as lighthearted as this could be banned? Yes. Just remember, some people don’t like Vk’s. Possibly branch out instead with a comment about Jager Bombs, Vodka and Coke, or even the limited edition cocktails offered at Buffalo. 

Number Two:

Shit you’re fit, want to come back to my place?

We’ve all heard of a SOLID LEGEND pulling in a seminar, having a quickie, and making it back in time for his lecture on geology. But be careful with this, if said out loud it may give the wrong impression. Why not instead write a note to the lass in question, or give her a little bit of foot action under the table. 

Number Three:  Oh, I have a question?

Lol, nerd alert. Small dick syndrome alert! xD People who say this in seminars are the same types who go and see BLADE RUNNER 2049 IN CINEMAS FOR A LIMITED TIME. Nobody actually wants to be in a seminar and you know it, so dont look like a beg - begs dont get bangs they GET banged. Simple.

[uniblabs-blog]

the 5 freshers youre’re GUARENTEED to meet at uni!!

coming to univresity can be a stressful experien ce with all the muriad of people and places, but don’t worry this list will hellp you to categorize everyone into an easy to understand paragraph.

1. the LAD

these cool kids can be seen in one of three places the gym, the su, or your flatmates bedroom ;) watch out for there toned superior bodys especially when rubbing their warm sweaty bodys against each other in a nice game of ruggers. he might seem like a dick at first, but after a few vks you;ll submitt to his lascivious needy

2. the house muM

this nice intentioned but ultamitely annoying flatmate will constantle be on your back about washing the dishes. watch out for her passive aggressive notes about pans left out for over a month. WHO CARES IF THER’ES A BIT OF MOLD ON IT KAREN GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU DIRTY WHOR

3. the NERD

this fucing loser spends his entire time in the library and watching rick and morty. to be fair we all love show PICKLE RIIIICK  lol serioursly though this guy probably only had sex with one girl and shes a proper munter WUBBALUBBADUBDUB

4. T̪ͨ̐͌̆ͬ̐͂̆̀H̥̐̄̈ͮ́̓E̷̷̢̦͍̦̯͌ͮ͐̈́̅̈ ̜̥̲͓̆̓͑͑ͥ̌H͈͇̻̞̔̈́̊͗͊͆͢Ȍ̲̯̱͈̥̤͛̉̇́͟ͅR̪͉ͥ͌̌ͨ͝N̆̄̓̇̀҉̹̞͍̹̩̼̟E̶͔̣͙͎ͤ̌ͧ̓͑ͩ̆ͦ͘D̲̠̱̃̾ͮ̏̈́͜͡ ̶͉̦͓̦̘̩̰͈̳̈̉̎̎̎Ơ͖̳̖̹̤̘̞ͣ͋͘͝N̴̡͉̞̦̮͎̠͈͎̍̂͐̋̽̒̍͝ͅE̶̵̖̦̘̬̼̺̳͙̽͆͞

For centuries this demonic spirit has haunted the prairies and woodlands drifting on the moonlight breeze. Every civilisation has a word for this demon: the devil, skarlak, o aguar, but all speak of his malignant influence. Care not for his steely gaze, for look into his eyes and you shall the true nature of evil. O Horned One we hear your cry, With cloven feet and fearful eye, Cast not your gaze, move on by, Else all fair souls should surely die

5. The sesh head

always in the club, this crazy cunt has NEVER made a 9am. watch out on anight out with him, you never know where it’ll end!!

[uniblabs-blog]

UNIVERSITY ROOMS & WHAT IS IN THERE

we’ve all been there, in rooms with blinds curtains and sometimes a rail for the curtain to rest on. here are some of the other things you may expect to ind. WOW there! it isnt scary, just have alook.

NUMBER 1: light

Light. I often need this. Whether i’m cracking open a cold one with the masculine o simply needing to engage in sightful endevour this is a must for any student in a room. but prepare for it! as it will not hurt unless it is touched harshly with blunt object.

NUMBER 2: Wooden

Wooden desk is very good for study and work. Or storying a couple of condoms and a bag of beer am i right! but anyway, alongside this you normally get a chair. these are not always guarenteed, but make a fine addition to anything at all. 

NUMBER 3: Electric!

OH OBY i used to take these for advntage! ha! no but serious now, sometimes these can be dangerous if a wrong tool is placed within their triangular grasp. i often times like to plug my XBOX THREE SIXTY into it geology major. then i like to plug my TV into it and then i like to watch the games that i play instead of stdying for my joiurnalism course. ! 

Number 4: bevs

oh so we all loe our bevs, especially when we tip them open carefully with our friends. so in order to allow ths (allow it) we have these often stacked in our ;) shelves instead of our textbooks! naughty ;)