BORTLES!!! @unifrenchie - Tumblr Blog

cko-0520

6と47ゎ……ズッ友だょ……！！

peridotite

TTHE “ALREADY, NARUTO?” CHAT IS SO FUCKKING FNNY

peridotite

this is peak comedy

bewhilder

my favorite responses in the short amount of time soldiers been one of us

windyvalleyzone

alignment chart for how you keep place in a book

bysaestyl

me during an overwatch prematch: hello!

my team: …..

me: *tearing up* i hate this fucking family

killowave

glutko

The Best Simpsons Faces (Vol. 1)

ketsalistli

In the darkest times I think we should all focus in whats important

gay-engineer

Person A: Welcome! What would you like to order?

Person B: Do you have any specials?

Person A, smirking: As a matter of fact, I have the perfect thing just for you

Person A slides this over the counter and winks:

nbcthegoodplace

And we want Chidi bacc. :’’’’(

real-overwatch-facts

Real Overwatch Fact #658:

B.O.B. participated in the Great British Bake-Off and won.

Submitted by @kingbabybones.

chulshik

I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.

This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day.

island-delver-go

creed-of-corruption

OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:

“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”

“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”

“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”

YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”

martianbees

dam0nalbarn

fakenigel

This shit happens in my neighborhood everyday and I’m tired of it

britta-perry

freedominwickedness

In medieval culture, an event like a royal christening is not a private party; it’s the public social event of the year. To not invite any person of rank to such an event is a deadly insult.

Maleficent is certainly someone you wouldn’t want at a party, but she’s also someone powerful enough that only a fool would ever dare treat her with such blatant disrespect. The only way the King and Queen could possibly have gotten away with not inviting Maleficent was to not invite any of the fairies at all; inviting the other fairies and excluding her is explicitly taking sides in the conflict between the fairy factions.

Which means they made themselves her sworn enemies, and she responded by treating them as such from then on. If you actually get into analyzing the social dynamics of the scene, it’s very clear that Maleficent was willing to show mercy at first by giving the King and Queen a chance to apologize for their disrespect to her. She doesn’t curse Aurora until after she gives them that chance and they throw it back in her face with further disrespect.

And yeah, if the King and Queen had done the properly respectful thing and invited her, Maleficent would have given Aurora a scary awesome present. Moreover so would the other fairies, because at that point both sides would be using it as an opportunity to show off and one-up each other. What they gave her before Maleficent showed up was basically just trivial party favors by fairy standards.

fuckyeahwomenprotesting

How do you know so much about the social dynamics of medieval fairies

leupagus

YEP. In the original versions, the only difference between the three “good” fairies and the “bad” fairy (who I don’t think even had names?) was that the bad one wasn’t invited - in other words, she wasn’t any more good or evil, she just got (accidentally, I believe) excluded from the festivities and in a fit of pique cursed the baby.

From the medieval perspective, those four fairies were all exactly alike - the blue or pink ones would’ve cursed the baby just the same if they hadn’t been invited.

But yeah, sign me up for the AU where they did invite Maleficent and she not only gives Aurora an awesome present but becomes a mentor and they end up ruling all the land with an iron fist.

Or something.